The Writing Process: Organization, Revision, and Clarity

1. The Writing Process: Organization, Revision, and Clarity Sean McCandless, Ph.D. Candidate Virginia Nichols, M. A.

2. Bridging the Gap • Moving from prewriting to writing the first draft • Writer’s block • Leave the introduction for later • Feel comfortable with the information • Move from exploratory research to in-depth research • Walk away from the draft

3. Bridging the Gap • Moving from prewriting to writing the first draft • Working thesis/working outline Since pet ownership greatly impacts family life, people should understand the differences between cats and dogs before adopting one. As such, dogs make better pets than cats because dogs are more easily trained, friendlier, and fluffier.

4. Elements of a Thesis Statement • Claim: Dogs make better pets than cats… • Reasons: because (a) dogs are more easily trained, (b) friendlier, and (c) fluffier. • Justification: Since pet ownership greatly impacts family life, people should understand the differences between cats and dogs before adopting one.

5. Essential Elements of Essays • Introduction • Background • Thesis Statement: Since pet ownership greatly impacts family life, people should understand the differences between cats and dogs before adopting one. As such, dogs make better pets than cats because dogs are more easily trained, friendlier, and fluffier. • Main Point 1: Dogs are more trainable than cats • Main Point 2: Dogs are friendlier than cats • Main Point 3: Dogs are fluffier than cats • Conclusion • Restate Thesis • Implications/Recommendations

6. MEAL: Essential Elements of Paragraph/Section Formation M • Main Point: Topic sentence E • Evidence/Examples from credible sources A • Analysis: Interpretation of the evidence L • Link to thesis statement and/or transition to next related idea

7. Essential Elements • Main Point: Topic Sentence • Focuses paragraph to a single topic/idea • Links a single idea back to the thesis • Makes a claim • Provides readers with a roadmap for the paragraph

8. Essential Elements • Evidence/Examples from credible sources: • Develops topic sentence as it relates to the thesis statement • Cites existing data • Paraphrases/quotes experts on the topic • Compares/contrasts • Describes cause/effect • Develops theories/reasons to explain causes

9. Essential Elements • Analysis: Interpretation of evidence • Discusses how/why the evidence/sources support thesis • Discussion of opposing viewpoints • Counterargument • Examines whether sources and evidence are credible • Determines whether sources provide a logical argument • Establishes whether sources provide a reasonable argument

10. Essential Elements • Main Point 1: Dogs are more trainable than cats M: Since dogs are more trainable than cats, they make better pets. E: Anything to demonstrate this point 1) For example... 2) Studies show that... A: What this means is that… • However, others argue… • Conclusions on this issue... L: Dogs are more trainable, which also makes them friendlier.

11. Identify the Essential Elements • Look for MEAL: ask these questions • What/where is the topic sentence? • Who/what are the sources/evidence? • Is there commentary/assessment on the evidence? • What is the linking statement? • What should be the topic of the next paragraph?

12. Finishing the Essay: Introductions • Provides background, summary, and purpose • States the problem and/or research issues • Establishes the basic research method(s) • Presents thesis statement

13. Finishing the Essay: Conclusions • Restates thesis statement • Summarizes to justify thesis statement accuracy • Presents conclusions/recommendations/implications

14. Finishing the Essay: Abstract • Provides a summary and a purpose for the paper • States the problem and/or research issues • Establishes the research method(s) • States the results/findings of the paper • Presents conclusions/recommendations

15. Avoid Wordiness; Maintain Clarity • Use active voice • Specify agency • Use nouns and verbs to describe • Choose pronouns carefully • Avoid metaphors, similes, idioms, euphemisms, and other rhetorical figures of speech

16. Active verses Passive Voice • Active voice – SVO • Subject is known and acts on object • Action is dynamic • Passive voice – OVS • Subject is sometimes unknown • Object is being acted upon • Action is usually static

17. Active vs. Passive Exercises • The pitcher threw the ball. • The ball was thrown by the pitcher. • Mistakes were made. • It was determined that spider venom can be used to treat diseases. • The study determined that doctors can use spider venom to treat diseases. • While the ball was thrown by the pitcher, the cow flew over the moon.

18. Uses for Passive Voice • Ties related ideas together such as linking and transitional sentences • Emphasizes the object of an action rather than the actor(s)

19. Agency • Proper attribution: specify authorship • The chapter discusses the importance of idealist political theory. • The author in chapter 4 discusses the importance of idealist political theory. • In chapter 4, Doe discusses the importance of idealist political theory.

20. Agency • Proper attribution: specify actors • The Romans assimilated the Gauls because they wanted to end their threat. • The Romans assimilated the Gauls because the Roman Imperial hierarchy wanted to destroy the threat the Gauls posed.

21. Pronouns • Avoid vague pronouns • Although Lincoln, Seward, and Chase ran for president, hewas the only candidate who was considered a “dark horse.” (Who does herefer to, Lincoln, Seward, or Chase?) • Although the car hit the tree, it was not damaged. (What does itrefer to, the car or the tree?) • My sister and her friend Lana went to the mall and she bought a new pair of shoes. (Who does sherefer to, my sister or Lana?)

22. Pronouns • Choose relative pronouns carefully (that, which) • The book that I borrowed from youis excellent. (Essential – no comma/s) • Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I borrowed, is excellent. (Non-essential – commas are necessary) • The dog that we adopted from a shelteris awesome. (Essential – no comma/s) • Our dog, which we adopted from a shelter, is awesome. (Non-essential – commas are necessary)

23. Pronouns • Choose relative pronouns carefully (who, whom, whose) • The lady who lives next door is a teacher. (Direct object, essential – no comma/s) • The woman to whom I have just spoken is my colleague. (Object of a preposition, essential – no comma/s) • The book whose author won a Pulitzer has become a bestseller. (Possessive, essential – no comma/s)

24. Nouns and Pronouns • Avoid noun/pronoun number/gender disagreement • The average student worries about his grades. (Incorrect) • The average student worries about grades or The average student worries about his/her grades or Most students worry about their grades. (Correct) • The ship is in her berth. (Incorrect) • The ship is in its berth. (Correct) • The team changed their rules regarding membership. (Incorrect) • The team changed its rules regarding membership. (Correct)

25. Adjectives • Eliminate unnecessary adjectives • The elderly woman is ninety years old. (Unnecessary) • The woman is ninety years old. (Concise) • Use quantifiers where appropriate: beware of “all,” “none,” “every,” and “nothing” • Northerners were abolitionists. (Incorrect) • All Northerners were abolitionists. (Incorrect) • Many (few, some) Northerners were abolitionists. (Correct)

26. Verbs • Eliminate unnecessary adverbs (“very,” “surely,” “really”) • Use strong verbs to replace adverbs, adjectives, or phrases • Barack Obama talks aboutmany of the merits of universal health care. (Wordy, 12 words) • Barack Obama touts universal health care. (Concise, 6 words) • Kermit Roosevelt used small-time criminals to bring about civil disorder. • Kermit Roosevelt employed street thugs to provoke chaos among the people.

27. Avoid Redundancy • “Very unique” • “Past history” • “Basic fundamentals” • “Free gift” • “Red in color” • “Honest in character” • ATM machine • PIN number

28. Identify Acronyms • Spell out first-use • United States (US or U.S.) • National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) • High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) • Automated Teller Machine (ATM) • Asynchronous Transfer Mode (ATM)

29. Avoid Metaphors, Similes, Idioms, and Euphemisms • Metaphors • “All the world’s a stage” (Shakespeare) • “Happiness is a warm gun” (Beatles) • Writing is my Achilles’ heel • Similes • Eyes as blue as an autumn sky • As quiet as a mouse • As subtle as a sledgehammer

30. Avoid Metaphors, Similes, Idioms, and Euphemisms • Idioms • A green thumb • Baker’s dozen • Battle of the sexes • Euphemisms • Collateral damage • Friendly fire • Sleeping together