At a loss for words?

At a loss for words? 214 Evans Library | 205 West Campus Library writingcenter.tamu.edu | 979-458-1455

Writing Clearly and Concisely

Writing Clearly The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. —George Orwell

Delete or revise ambiguous words, especially those too informal for the situation. Maybe SO Kind of Basically Could have Whatever! Good Sort of Really Very awesome Absolutely

Clarity and Complexity Complex phrases and clauses, new information, and technical terms are easier to process when placed at the end of sentences. • Complex:Lincoln’s claim that the Civil War was God’s punishment of both North and South for slavery appears in the last part of the speech. • Revised: In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims that God gave the Civil War to both North and South as a punishment for slavery.

Clarity and Complexity Here is another example—the more complex phrase is easier for the reader to process when it comes at the end of the sentence. Complex: Questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feedingare the most difficult. Revised: Most difficult are questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding.

Check for Repeated Words • Become aware of words you overuse. When revising, identify any these and other instances of unnecessary repetition. • Using a thesaurus and a dictionary, replace repeated words that might distract readers.

Eliminate Repetition • A class of beaconmounts has been designed to allow for all three tracking system beacons to be attached to the rig in a global manner. This consists of machining all of the mountingholes on the rig the same and having a method for each beacon type to mount onto the rigusing the holes. • Repetition of key words, however, can create coherence.

Create Coherence Key Words:Most difficult are questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding. Intravenous feeding can prolong life to an indefinite extent, but it cannot always preserve its quality. Without quality, many would argue, life is worthless. Varied Word Choice:Most difficult are questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding. Tube sustenance can prolong existence to an indefinite extent, but it cannot always preserve its quality. Without that, many would argue, living is worthless.

Don’t Dangle Modifiers • A dangling modifier describes someone or something that is not in the sentence. • Incorrect: Plump and juicy, Aunt Gertrude won first prize at the fair. • Plump and juicy, Aunt Gertrude’s roasted pig won first prize at the fair. • Incorrect: As a teacher, it is important to stay patient. • As a teacher, I need to stay patient.

Or Misplace Modifiers • A misplaced modifier is too far away from the word it’s trying to describe. • Incorrect: Plump and juicy, Aunt Gertrude makes the best roasted pig in south Texas. • Plump and juicy, Aunt Gertrude’s roasted pig is the best in south Texas. • Incorrect: Rotting in the cellar, my brother found the five-year-old potatoes. • My brother found the five year old potatoes rotting in the cellar.

Active vs. Passive Voice • Active: We have determined the target market to be adults between the ages of 30 and 45. • Passive: The target market was determined to be adults between the ages of 30 and 45. • Who’s doing what to whom? • Active voice identifies the actor. • Passive puts the thing being acted on first. • Check which style your professor prefers.

Writing Concisely This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. —Winston Churchill

Check for Wordiness • Doubles • Redundancies • Wordy phrases • Negatives • Sentence sprawl

Remove Excess Words Delete doubles • full and complete • tried and true • each and every Delete redundancies true facts free gift in a wise manner red in color seven in number long in duration

Revise Wordy Phrases Arrived at the decision  decided Is able to  can A majority of  most In order to  to Despite the fact that  although Are of the same opinion  agree A small number of  few For the purpose of  to From Successful Scientific Writing by Janice R. Matthews, John M. Brown, and Robert W. Matthews

Change Negatives to Affirmatives not many  few not often  rarely not stop  continue not include  omit not different  similar not the same  different not allow  prevent not notice  overlook From Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace by Joseph Williams

Remove Sentence Sprawl A sentence sprawls when there are many clauses or phrases after the verb. One way to reduce sprawl is by cutting or revising who/that/which clauses. Ex: Teachers should remember thatstudents are vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, ego-bruising moments thatadults ignore, and thatthey do not understand thatone day… • Ex: Teachers should remember students are vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, ego-bruising moments adults ignore, and they do not understand thatone day…

Paramedic Method http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0321441699/ref=dp_image_text_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books Circle the prepositions. Circle the “is” forms. Find the action. Put this action in a simple (not compound) active verb. Start fast—no slow windups. Read the passage aloud with emphasis and feeling. Mark off sentence’s basic rhythmic units. Mark sentence lengths.

The Official Style • The National Research Council Space Studies Board, in cooperation with the Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board, is in the process of organizing a decadal survey to establish priorities and provide recommendations for life and physical sciences research in microgravity and partial gravity for the 2010-2020 decade. • Source: Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board of the National Academies (http://sites.nationalacademies.org/DEPS/ASEB/index.htm)

Paramedic Method Find the prepositions and “to be” verbs. • The National Research Council Space Studies Board, cooperation the Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board, the process a decadal survey and co life and physical sciences research microgravity and partial gravity the 2010-2020 decade. in with Find the action and simplify: is in organizing of • is in the process of organizing  is organizing • establish priorities  prioritize • provide recommendations  recommend establish priorities to provide recommendations for in Start fast—no slow wind-ups. for in cooperation with  and

Revision The National Research Council Space Studies Board and the Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board are organizing a 2010-2020 survey to prioritize concerns and recommend life and physical sciences research in microgravity and partial gravity.

The Lard Factor Divide the difference between the number of words in the original and the number in the revised version by the number in the original. Original (46) minus Revision (34) = 12 12÷ 46 = .26 or 26%

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At a loss for words?