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Chapter 2: Marriage, sex, and adultery as practices of self-governance

Chapter 2: Marriage, sex, and adultery as practices of self-governance. Key terms, concepts, and themes. Self-governance and self-control Putting your marriage on project status Transformative power of intimacy Consummating marriage Annulment Adultery—who and what?

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Chapter 2: Marriage, sex, and adultery as practices of self-governance

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  1. Chapter 2: Marriage, sex, and adultery as practices of self-governance

  2. Key terms, concepts, and themes • Self-governance and self-control • Putting your marriage on project status • Transformative power of intimacy • Consummating marriage • Annulment • Adultery—who and what? • Confession and redemption • Prevention, disease, and treatment • Marriage as private and public

  3. Traditional marriage • Good Marriage • Life long commitment • Heterosexual intercourse and consummation • Legitimate offspring

  4. Traditional marriage continued • Bad Marriage • Annulment and inability to consummate • Adultery and Adulterers

  5. New marriage • Good Marriage • Making marriage a project, self-governance, and self-control • Marriage as a transformation in intimacy—not just sex • Creating boundaries as a healthy relationship, prevention and inoculation • Function of law and covenant marriage • Good Sexual Citizen • Makes the right choice and committed to the marriage project • Takes preventative measures to protect marriage • Works, works, works!!!!

  6. New marriage continued • Bad Marriage • No boundaries or lacks self-control and self-governance • Lack of intimacy • Adultery and new infidelities • Diseased • Unbecoming Citizen • Uncontrolled • New infidels • Infected • Hope of redemption and the role of confession • Failed Citizen • Untruthful and lacking confession • Not recommitted to marriage project

  7. Status of the new marriage • Work, work, work!! • Do not expect happiness (or at least all the time) • Obsessions with adultery is telling of the dissatisfaction within marriage • Be prepared to hate each other

  8. Final thoughts • Barriers and healthy marriage • Intimacy • Work and marriage? • The role of law in the new marriage • Private and public marriage

  9. questions • Does Cossman offer a realistic description of the contemporary marriage? • What is the future of marriage? Are people willing to work this hard? • Can we agree on the new conception of adultery? What does this mean for legal definitions for adultery? • Is it true that we get pleasure through others’ confessions of infidelity? And if so, is this telling of our own dissatisfaction in marriage?

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