MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE

1. MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE

2. Why do couples of same sex not allowed to marry? Is it still important today? What is Marriage??? Is love ever enough to sustain marriage? Is getting pregnant enough reason to marry? Why is divorce never an option? Why a need for marriage and spend a lot while we can live together without it?

3. Insert flash! Know what: Kahit ano pa man ang sabihin ng mga tao tungkol sa kasal, there is still something IN it that makes you smile and cry… excited and worried… inspired and expired… Ika nga: “Ang pag-ibig nga naman, hahamakin ang lahat, masunod ka lamang”

5. Indeed, there is something about MARRIAGE and FAMILY LIFE!!!

6. CHAPTER 1: Lesson 1 EMERGING REALITIES

7. Ch. 1: Les. 1: • Marriage • Commonly referred to as “settling down” (paglalagay sa tahimik) • Both secular and sacred reality • “natural human institution” • Both a “contract” and a “covenant” • Involves a DEEPLY personal affair between two persons in love

8. Marriage to attain stability in life, security and fulfillment in establishing a family.God’s PlanGod created the first man and woman in His image and likeness. For them He planned a life where sexuality, love ,marriage and family were an integrated part, revealed to them by God through their human experiences.

9. However, when sin came in, His plan for them became blurred. God however did not abandon them because of their disobedience and weaknesses. He redeemed them and all mankind from their fall and also restored marriage to its original dignity. A loving union of husband and wife, parents and children in community with God.

10. 1. A Human secular reality and a sacred reality. It is something innate, natural, that comes from the deeper part of human beings that make them want to marry and have a family. Early Christians acknowledged marriage as a Mysterion or a sacrament: “a sign of a higher and sacred reality which entered salvation.” Marriage is ……..

11. 2. A divine and Human Institution. Theological tradition considers marriage as Officium naturae or a “duty of nature” because it is directed to the task of procreation. -It is natural because nature demands that human beings, by their given procreative faculties should perpetuate or continue their species. St. Thomas Aquinas says that it is natural for human beings: A man to establish a lasting relationship with a particular woman. This excludes any promiscuous relations of either one with somebody else. That the couple chooses and accepts each other adds another element to their union of love and life.

12. The encyclical letter Casti Conubii …. states that from God comes the institution of marriage itself, together with its ends, the laws that govern it, and the blessing that flow from it. Through the generous surrender of his own person to another for life, and with the help and cooperation of God, man becomes the author of this particular marriage. Thus it takes three to make this divine and human institution happen: God, a man, and a woman who are all in love with one another (CC 9).

13. 3. A State and An EventMarriage begins when a man and a woman give their lawful consent, accepting each other as husband and wife. After the exchange of vows and the wedding rites, life for the husband and wife moves on. Thus, marriage becomes a continuous event, a lifelong process in which the two attempts to fulfill God’s plan for them.

14. 4. Contract and Covenant A “contract” is an agreement entered into by two parties, or two persons, to do something with each other. It is the agreement between a man and a woman to give to, and to accept from the other, the exclusive and lifelong right to those bodily functions that are directed to the begetting of children and sharing a life together.

15. Covenant a pact, an alliance or partnership that a man and a woman form to commit themselves to a lifetime of togethernessfor their own good, and for the procreation and education of children.This commitment is made out of love for each other. To the degree that “covenant is a more apt definition of marriage than “contract”, so is the saying Pag-iisang dibdib more meaningful than Pag-aasawa

16. 5. Personal and Communal Marriage is a deeply personal affair between two persons in love. Yet it introduces the couple not only to a human procreative community, but also to a greater community affected by their marital life.It can be observed that a couple within marriage cannot depend solely on themselves. There is a communitarian and public dimension to the institution of marriage.Marriage needs the support of the community and civil society. Community laws are necessary to protect the rights and privileges of the individuals within a marriage.

17. Ch. 1: Les. 1: • A “social institution” that exists interdependently with community/state • Education • Economics • Property • Medical attention • Public decency • safety • Sadly, there are emerging threats to marriage and family life

18. The class is divided into six groups. Discuss in the group this question: What are today’s current threats to marriage and family life in terms of: Faith and spiritual dimension Political aspect Economic aspect Culture and tradition Ecological aspect Social aspect Reporting follows by a representative of each group as he/she briefly explains the result of the small group discussion. The group may complement their presentation with any visual image or any audio-visual production for better facilitation and comprehension. ACTIVITY

19. CHAPTER 1: Lesson 2 The Purpose of Marriage in Creation

20. Ch. 1: Les. 2: After getting acquainted with current realities pertaining to marriage and family, it’s best to go back and rekindle the original richness and beauty of Marriage and Family… in the context of God’s Word and Revelation First Stop: The story of Adam and Eve

21. Ch. 1: Les. 2: The gift of sexuality is God’s answer for man’s deep longing to be with someone • There are two accounts of Creation Story: • Priestly account (Gen. 1:1-31) • Yahwist tradition (Gen. 2: 2-25) Adam’s longing for someone is answered by the creation of Eve. “This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” Sexuality is far larger than sex act. Adam sees in Eve not just a sexual partner, but a person that can reciprocate his love and personhood.

22. BONE OF MY BONES ANDFLESH OF MY FLESH The author, realizing that one of the greatest pains of man is the lack of company conveys this message: Without others, man and human life is not “good”. The woman was taken from man’s rib to show that in marriage, man and woman become one. Gordon Higham wrote: “Woman was not taken from man’s head to be ruled by him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him. But under his arm to be protected by him, from near his heart to be loved by him, and from near his side to walk beside him.”

23. Ch. 1: Les. 2: God entrusted to them the mission: “be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it.” Ahh… the work of Procreation and Stewardship God created them MALE and FEMALE By that it means, they are distinct yet equal with one another

24. Ch. 1: Les. 2: • Consequences include: • Pain of childbirth • Lust • Sweat of labor • Sexual hierarchy • Gender conflict and dominance But as we all know, creation story after all is not everything beautiful. Sin enters with the fall of Adam and Eve. Their original communion was then ruptured… thus the entry of consequences thereof:

25. Gen 3 – The Fall of our first parents. Instead of remaining faithfully obedient to their creator, man and woman were persuaded by the serpent’s promises of “better prospects” if they followed him. So they ate the fruit.

26. With this disobedient act, sin entered the world. The woman would experience pain in her maternity, and her husband would now rule over her. The man, who abandoned personal responsibility and listened and followed his wife eating the fruit, from now on would have to work in order to eat – no longer picking fruits off the tree but digging for what lies beneath the ground.

27. Because of the sin of disobedience. Man and woman’s original communion was ruptured. Through the ages humankind would suffer for the consequences of this disobedience: man and woman trying to dominate each other, lust, the pain of childbirth, the hardships of work. Catechism of Catholic Church 1607

28. CHAPTER 1: Lesson 3 Marriage as realized among the chosen people

29. Ch. 1: Les. 3: • Ancient practices and customs: • Women’s subordination to men • Procreation as primary function • Polygamy • Divorce as prerogative of men • Barrenness as disgrace • concubinage • Levirate law It’s never been a surprise to know that the concept of marriage has lost its real meaning in the time of the ancient Israel.

30. In Hebrew Scripture Women were clearly made subordinate and their roles were determined by their status in relation to men: as daughters, wives and mothers. As woman they were not equal companions and partners of men. Their primary function became that of bearing children who would continue the male line.

31. The primary value became procreation, which was then held in great esteem than the ordained relationship between husband and wife or the quality of their love Polygamous relationships were even allowed until about the time of the monarchy, the kings. Divorce, initiated by the husband only, was a usual practice ( Dt. 24:1-2) Barrenness was considered a disgrace ( Gen 30: 2)

32. Concubinage was tolerated as a means to find a substitute for the barren wife, to make sure of the continuity of the husband’s lineage or family line. (Gen 30:1-13) Levirate law obligated a man to marry the wife of his dead brother in order to raise a son to carry the deceased’s name and right to family inheritance

33. Ch. 1: Les. 3: Prophet Hosea was commanded by God to marry Gomer, a prostitute. He obeyed but Gomer still went back to being a prostitute. He courted her in trying to win her back. But the same thing happens again… However, all is not lost in this period. The time of the prophets provided a vision for marriage as a COVENANT Let’s see and know the love story of Prophet Hosea and Gomer?

34. Prophet Hosea He compared marriage with the covenant between the God and Israel. Through the prophet , God presented a vision of marriage of that time, as a disturbed human reality that needed to be rescued from its being subjected to human weaknesses and limitations. In account of his relationship with Gomer, a prostitute whom God commanded him to marry. He obeyed but Gomer was unfaithful. God commanded Hosea to take her back and to truly love her despite her infidelity. This story is illustrative of the way Yahweh loved His people in spite of their repeated unfaithfulness

35. Ch. 1: Les. 3: It’s like the story of Yahweh and His people. • There might have been an improved concept of marriage, still tensions occurred: • Patriarchal-genealogical emphasis vs. prophetic messianic • Pregnancy/childbearing as source of dignity of conjugal union • Jewish society regards children as blessings and signs of God’s favor Yahweh’s forgiveness is based upon love towards the ever-unfaithful people of Israel. This is the so-called: “covenantal” relationship that is based on steadfast growing love, balanced with strength of duty and sensitivity of kindness

36. . "Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the procreation and education of children. Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents' welfare." Humanae Vitae

37. Ch. 1: Les. 3: Hmmm…let’s see how far have you learned the lessons. Thus far, we have seen how marriage as a concept and practice has developed through time in the Old Testament. “A human reality that forms part of God’s salvific work.” But the journey is never over. We’ll come to know that the richness of marriage rests upon Jesus Christ. In a short bond paper, state TWO superstitious belief by Filipinos when it comes to marriage/wedding and react on it personally considering its real meaning as originally planned by God. Be ready for quiz next meeting

38. CHAPTER 2: Lesson 4 Marriage in the Gospels

39. Ch. 2: Les. 4: • On love • On Marriage • Wedding Feast in Cana • Questions on Divorce • Celibacy in the light of Marriage Actually, there’s only a few of Jesus’ direct assertions/teachings about marriage and sexuality However, much can still be regarded as lessons on marriage and related matters as found in the course of His ministry

40. Ch. 2: Les. 4: However, this same love to people in general should also the kind of love that exists in marriage of two people Jesus’ preaching on LOVE is more of general than specific to married couples.

41. The Gospels on the matter of Love Christ preached about the love neighbors should have for one another. This is the same love that exists, only in a greater degree, between a man and woman marrying each other, and in their marriage. “ Love one another as I have loved you. No greater love than that he lays down his life for a friend” ( Jn 15:12-14). Love calls for fidelity, unconditional surrender and forgiveness in instances of failure

42. Ch. 2: Les. 4: The Wedding event in Cana was Jesus’ first ever miracle Sooooo…. Wwwhhhhaatttt???? What is remarkable about this event was not much about his miracle of turning water into wine… It is his PRESENCE that makes the difference. By this presence is shown His important regard to marital union.

43. Ch. 2: Les. 4: • “…They are no longer two but one body… what God has united, man must not divide…” • No to divorce… Yes to permanence of marital union • Marriage finds its redeeming value in Jesus as He brings it back in the original plan of God • Union in love • Fruitfulness in procreative task Jesus’ teaching on marriage is further and more extensively found in Mt. 19:3-11 That’s when Pharisees came to ask Jesus about the validity of “divorce” as practiced in the Old Testament.

44. Ch. 2: Les. 4: • Two properties of marriage: • Unity – excludes extra-marital relations or any form of polygamy • Indissolubility – “no” to divorce and re-marriage However, if one may observe… even Jesus seems to accept divorce “with exceptions” “If a man divorces his wife, except in case of porneia, and then marries another, he is guilty of adultery” Greek word for “immorality” or “fornication”

45. Ch. 2: Les. 4: Actually, Jesus was concerned with two related issues here. Right? That of not divorcing the wife, except for fornication which was allowed in Jewish law AND of marrying again. Did Jesus therefore provide an excuse for divorce, that is, fornication by the adultering wife? Opposing groups have it one or the other. There’s no clear and straightforward answer given the Jewish circumstance. But one thing is for sure. Jesus was bringing back the covenantal character of marriage. Yeah right! One that’s based on undying faithfulness between couples who are open to forgiveness and reconciliation in times of failure and mistakes

46. Ch. 2: Les. 4: • With Jesus, original aspect of marriage has not only been brought back, there’s a new dimension given to it • Marriage is conferred a salvific meaning in God’s Kingdom • Marriage as a reflection of Jesus’ New Covenant with the Church vis-à-vis Old Covenant between Yahweh and Israel It’s good to also understand “celibacy” as complementary concept in the proper understanding of marriage Celibacy is the state of being single, choosing to totally give up marriage and family life to commit oneself to Jesus and His mission. While it’s oddly strange for man to be unmarried in Jewish culture, Jesus presented an optional way of life. One that’s not against marriage but complementary with it - CELIBACY

47. CHAPTER 2: Lesson 5 Marriage in St. Paul’s Teachings

48. Ch. 2: Les. 5: While St. Paul has written much about sex and marriage, there’s a seeming ambivalence in some respect Ahhh… it’s his stand in two different things: marriage and single state of life Considering the context where he was at, well, that’s understandable! The Greek society thrives on two opposing extremes: sexual promiscuity and extreme asceticism Continence (1 Cor. 7: 1,7) Value of sex act (1 Cor. 7:3,4) Trivial point: * No mention of children insofar as “eschatology” nears.

49. Ch. 2: Les. 5: “Do not refuse one another, except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5) For St. Paul, sexual act in marriage is a value that must be stressed in practice. • Sexual act is: • Right of both husband and wife • Later theological thought understood it as “marital debt” • But still maintaining the so-called “common consent”

50. Ch. 2: Les. 5: It’s in the Letter to Ephesians where Paul’s theology on marriage is at its best! “…Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord… Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church… (Eph.5:21-25, 28-32) • Key words to remember and understand: submission and leadership. • A submission in love just as one submits to Christ • A leadership by service and not by authority • A new perspective was given, i.e., marriage of two persons seen in the link between Christ (Groom) and the Church (Bride)