How to communicate effectively

1. How to communicate effectively

2. Listening Barriers

3. Focusing on a personal agenda. • When we spend our listening time coming up with our next response, we cannot pay full attention to what the speaker is saying.

4. Experiencing information overload. • Too much stimulation or information can make it very difficult to listen with full attention. Try to focus on the relevant information, and the central points that are being expressed.

5. Criticizing the speaker. • Do not be distracted by critical evaluations of the speaker. Focus on what they are saying - the message - rather than the messenger.

6. Getting distracted by emotional noise. • We react emotionally to certain words, concepts and ideas, and to a bunch of other cues from speakers (appearance, non-verbal cues). Make a conscious effort to quiet your own emotional reactions so that you can listen properly.

7. Getting distracted by external “noise”. • Audible noise may be extremely distracting. Some things can be minimized – e.g., turn down the ringer on your phone. Other noises may be unavoidable – e.g., construction, other people. Also, there may be figurative “noise” from the external environment, such as distracting or inappropriate decor in a room, or environmental conditions such as the room being too hot or cold.

8. Experiencing physical difficulty. • Feeling physically unwell, or experiencing pain can make it very difficult to listen effectively. You may wish to communicate that this is not a good time, and reschedule the discussion. Otherwise, you may just need to concentrate even more on the task of listening.

9. Ethnic Diversity • Some people may not understand the language you speak in, therefore it is important to be sympathetic and speak in the dialect that both of you can communicate in. • Slang and cultural terms can make it difficult to understand someone from a different ethnic background.

10. Active Listening • Pay attention • 2. Show that you’re listening with eye contact, head nodding, leaning towards the speaker • Provide feedback. “What I’m hearing is…” and “sound like you are saying…” • Defer judgement – interrupting is a waster of time • Respond appropriately

11. Active Listening Activity

12. Using “I” Messages • You messages often lead to attacks or accusations. • “I” messages help both participants stay reasonable, focus on their problems, and solve it together.

13. “I” Messages cont’d… • I feel … (name emotion) • When you … (say what bothers you) • Because … (explain why) • Next time … (explain how to fix it)