Conflict Management

1. Conflict Management Arguing -- Is usually a battlefield for a bigger issue.

2. What is conflict? • A battle, contest or opposing forces existing between primitive desires and moral, religious or ethical ideas ( Webster’s Dictionary) • A state of incompatibility of ideas between two or more parties or individuals • Conflict is “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scare resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals” (Wilmot and Hocker, 1998) • Conflicts exist whenever incompatible activities occur • Conflict management is the practice of identifying and handling conflict in a sensible, fair and efficient manner

3. Functional and Dysfunctional Conflict • Functional conflict contributes to the achievement of the goals of the group or the organization. Functional conflict should be nurtured, if not encouraged. • Dysfunctional conflict impedes the organization from accomplishing its goals. Dysfunctional conflict should be reduced or removed.

4. Philosophies of Conflict Management • Traditional Philosophy: All conflicts are negative and potentially destructive for the organization. Conflict should be eliminated. • Behavioral Philosophy: Conflict is inevitable in organizations and should be accepted as a part of organizational life.

5. Philosophies of Conflict Management (cont.) • Interactionist Philosophy: • Conflict is essential to the survival of the organization. • Conflict should not only be accepted but encouraged in organizations. • Effective conflict management includes both stimulation and reduction of conflict. • Conflict management is a major responsibility of the manager.

6. Myths or Misconceptions About Conflict: • Harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal. • Conflict is the result of personality differences. • Conflict and disagreements are the same.

7. Causes of Conflict • Personal Differences • Informational Deficiency • Role Incompatibility • Environmental Stress • Scarcity • Uncertainty

8. Types of conflict • Inter-personal and intra-personal • Inter-group and intra-group • Competitive and Disruptive

9. Types of Conflict • Conflict of ideas • Dooley and Fryxell (1999) found that conflict of ideas at the early stage of decision making (idea formulation) was desirable. • That same conflict sometimes caused problems at a later stage when the ideas actually had to implemented. • Conflict of feelings (often called personality conflict)

10. Types of Conflict • Opposition and Support

11. Conflict Process Antecedent conditions Perceived conflict Felt Conflict Manifest behavior Conflict Resolution Or Suppression Resolution aftermath

13. Pondy’s Stages • Latent conflict: There is no actual conflict; however, the potential for conflict to arise is present because of the sources of conflict previously identified. • Perceived conflict: Each party searches for the origins of the conflict, defines why the conflict is emerging, analyzes the events that led to its occurrence, and constructs a scenario that accounts for the problems it is experiencing with other parties. • Felt conflict: The parties in conflict develop negative feelings about each other. • Manifest conflict: One party decides how to react to or deal with the party that it sees as the source of the conflict, and both parties try to hurt each other and thwart each other’s goals. • Conflict aftermath: Every conflict episode leaves a conflict aftermath that affects the way both parties perceive and respond to a future conflict episode.

14. Unresolved Conflict is a Vicious Circle • Relationship degenerates into a power struggle. • Playing games (If it weren’t for you…, Look how hard I’ve tried…, • Develops “ritual impasse”, stuck at the same point (refusing to talk after working so hard. • Destroys the problem-solving process • In the end, the relationship fails because neither persons needs are met.

15. Dealing with Conflict

16. Interpersonal Dynamics • Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations • Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact

17. Key Topics of Interpersonal Dynamics Transactional Analysis Assertiveness Conflict Management

18. Transactional Analysis (TA) • Method for determining how people interact • When we interact, behavior can be: • passive • aggressive • assertive • Performance is greater with this behavior • TA is a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics

19. TA: Ego States • Major ego states that affect our behavior or the way we transact through communication: • Parent Ego State (P) • Critical parent • Sympathetic parent • Child Ego State (C) • Natural child • Adapted child • Adult Ego State (A)

20. TA: Types of Transactions • Within ego states there are three different types of transactions: • Complementary Transactions • Crossed Transactions • Ulterior Transactions

21. Complementary Transactions • Occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver • Generally result in more effective communication Supervisor Employee P P A A C C

22. Crossed Transactions • Occur when the sender of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver • These result in surprise, disappointment, and hurt feelings for the sender of the message Supervisor Employee P P A A C C

23. Ulterior Transactions • Occur when the words seem to be coming from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from another • Sometimes when people don’t know what they want or how to ask for it in a direct way, they resort to ulterior transactions • Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time

24. I’m OK – You’re OK I’m OK – You’re not OK I’m not OK – You’re OK I’m not OK – You’re not OK TA:Life Positions Positive Attitude toward Oneself Negative Positive Negative Attitude toward Others

25. TA: Stroking • Stroking – any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence • Positive – make people feel good about themselves • Negative – can hurt people in some way • Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique

26. Assertiveness • The process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way • Present your message without falling into the traps of being: • “too pushy” (aggressive) • “not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive) • Is becoming more global

27. Aggressive Behavior Passive Behavior Assertive Behavior Passive-Aggressive Behavior Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:

28. Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers:

29. What is my conflict style?

30. Conflict Style • Not only is it important to know what relationship or situation is causing conflict in our life, but it is also important to look at how we normally resolve conflict (our natural inclination). • We must then decide whether we are satisfied with our current approach or if we would like to change it in some way to improve our effectiveness at conflict resolution.

31. Style Explanation • Avoiding • Accommodating • Compromising • Competing • Collaborating As you discovered through the conflict resolution assessment, our natural inclinations usually place us into one of these styles.

32. Style Explanation • Avoiding Style (-,-) • If I ignore the problem, it will go away • If I confront the problem, I may hurt someone’s feelings • Why bother… it won’t change anything • Accommodating (-,+) • It’s easier to just give in and give them what they want • You will be better liked if you just agree • By letting the other person win this time, you will win next time… you have to pick your battles.

33. Style Explanation • Compromising Style (-,-) • It’s only fair because then neither of us get what we want. • Both parties are on an even playing field • We can choose to give up something we really don’t need, thereby winning. • Competing Style (+,-) • I’m right and you’re wrong • There is only one solution • Collaborating (+,+) • We can find a solution that works for both of us. • By asking the other person’s perspective, I can understand them. • Once we find a common ground, we can work from there.

34. Conflict Style If you find yourself adopting a conflict style that you’re not happy about… • Analyze why you have adopted that style. • Develop some simple action steps that will help you break your habit. • Read on for helpful tips that will guide you through various conflict situations.

35. Summary of Conflict Management Styles

36. Conflict Management Styles

37. Roles in Conflict Resolution Initiator Responder Mediator

38. Initiating Conflict Resolution Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model Step 2. Implement your plan persistently Step 3. Make an agreement for change

39. The XYZ Model • The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings: “When you do X (behavior), Y (consequences) happens, and I have Z (feelings).”

40. Responding to Conflict Resolution Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions Step 4. Make an agreement for change

41. Mediating Conflict Resolution Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model Step 2. Agree on the problem(s) Step 3. Develop alternative solutions Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up

42. Interpersonal Dynamics Styles Exhibit 7.6

43. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics • People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types • If you have a high surgency personality – • watch your use of the critical parent ego state • be sure to give lots of positive strokes to help human relations • be careful not to use aggressive behavior to get what you want

44. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics • If you have a high agreeableness personality, • you tend to get along well with others • be careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego state • watch the appropriate use of the child ego state • Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotions • especially anger

45. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics • There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experience • If you are not well adjusted, you are probably not open to experience • If you are a high conscientious personality, you can still transact from the parent or child ego state

46. Determining the level of conflict in my life

47. Determining the source of conflict At times you may sense conflict at work, but not know exactly why. The conflict self-assessment will help you to pinpoint the specific area in which you are experiencing conflict so that you can begin to resolve it. The areas addressed are supervisor, self, peers, employees, and productivity.

48. Do you ever use… • Extreme or irrational tactic to gain your point (slamming doors, stomping around)? • Hurt remarks to have the last word (sarcasm, name calling)? • The Silent treatment • Withdraw to a safe distance because you do not like to argue? • Store up grudges and use later (revenge)? • My way or no way attitude? • Get angry, criticize, or some other aggressive behavior? • Give in; “I guess you are right”, submissive behavior to avoid conflict. • Deny or pretend that “everything is okay If you answered “Yes” to any of the above you are not “fighting fair” and you are creating an interaction pattern of “I win, you lose”.

49. One-to-one Conflict

50. If you want to constructively resolve a conflict with another person… • FIRST, get into the right frame of mind for a positive discussion, always remembering to treat the other person with respect • SECOND, agree on the best time and place for both of you to discuss the conflict with each other. • THIRD, Set some ground rules. • FOURTH, have a discussion.