WRITING your HLTB02 Assignment—Part 2

WRITING your HLTB02Assignment—Part 2 Learning from feedback and examples Dr. Sarah King The Writing Centre

Your assignment: 2-part analysis of one childhood health issue and long-term health outcomes • Part 1: choose one area of concern, and discuss potential long-term health outcomes, co-risk factors, and ways to mitigate potential negative outcomes • Part 2: select one long-term outcome from Part 1. Using the Ecological Model of Child Development, analyze at least three (3) relevant factors/exposures that may contribute, and at least two (2) factors/exposures that can lead to a different outcome

Your assignment: 2-part analysis of one childhood health issue and long-term health outcomes **NOTICE SIMILAR STRUCTURE** • Part 1: choose one area of concern, and discuss potential long-term health outcomes, co-risk factors, and ways to mitigate potential negative outcomes • Part 2: select one long-term outcome from Part 1. Using the Ecological Model of Child Development, analyze at least three (3) relevant factors/exposures that may contribute, and at least two (2) factors/exposures that can lead to a different outcome

Part 1 LTO 1 issue LTO 2 LTO 3 Mitigating factors

Part 1 Part 2 factor LTO issue LTO factor LTO factor LTO Factors that can lead to a different outcome Mitigating factors

Part 1 Part 2 factor LTO issue Learn from Part 1! LTO factor LTO factor LTO Factors that can lead to a different outcome Mitigating factors

Two effective introductions Which is a stronger thesis & why? • Child obesity is a phenomenon growing throughout the developed world that threatens the health of future generations (Paul et al., 2009). This paper discusses the potential long-term health effects child obesity can cause. In addition co-risk factors and ways to mitigate the potential health effects are discussed. • Child obesity is a phenomenon growing throughout the developed world that threatens the health of future generations (Paul et al., 2009). Potential long-term health effects of child obesity include type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and some cancers, as well as mental health problems. Mitigating factors are social and lifestyle practices.

Sample Intro: what do you think? Children are our future, and because of that childhood health is very important. First years of life are critical, because at this time children grow and develop. The reasons why people smoke are still a mystery but there is much evidence that smoking is bad. Also, everybody knows that if a mother smokes, it will have effects on the baby. However, 35% of mothers smoke while pregnant, and this can be potentially problematic during the child’s life. This is why it is important to understand harmful effects of tobacco exposure. However, they can be mitigated if we implement some protective strategies.

Sample Intro: what do you think? Children are our future, and because of that childhood health is very important. First years of life are critical, because at this time children grow and develop. The reasons why people smoke are still a mystery but there is much evidence that smoking is bad. Also, everybody knows that if a mother smokes, it will have effects on the baby. However, 35% of mothers smoke while pregnant, and this can be potentially problematic during the child’s life. This is why it is important to understand harmful effects of tobacco exposure. However, they can be mitigated if we implement some protective strategies. • Problems: • Vague • Repetitive • No sources

Better Intro: what do you think? Tobacco is known to have many negative effects on children. Tobacco smoke has been proven to have many positive correlations with illnesses such as lung cancer, and its influence on the children’s physical environment is a concern. Tobacco smoke also negatively influences children’s behaviour and mentality. There are many co-factors that contribute to tobacco usage and preventive measures that can reduce tobacco intake in children.

Better Intro: what do you think? Tobacco is known to have many negative effects on children. Tobacco smoke has been proven to have many positive correlations with illnesses such as lung cancer, and its influence on the children’s physical environment is a concern. Tobacco smoke also negatively influences children’s behaviour and mentality. There are many co-factors that contribute to tobacco usage and preventive measures that can reduce tobacco intake in children. Clear, focused and specific Add in-text references?

Advice: • Focus • Be specific • Reference sources • Avoid unnecessary repetition or words • Use feedback from Part 1 to help you improve part 2 • Look for effective examples—from peers, from sources

The Writing Centre (AC210) • TWC offers one-to-one tutoring • 50-minute appts (book on the intranet) • 20-minute drop-ins (Mon-Fri) • Programs and services for ESL students • Communication Café and RWE • New Web resources on our website • Handouts and tip sheets, including APA format • Assignment calculator • http://webapps-new.utsc.utoronto.ca/assignmentcal/

How do I use sources in writing?Student example: what do you notice? Childhood obesity not only can impact physical health in adult life, but mental health as well (Edmunds, 2008). Depression, low self esteem, eating disorders and problems with intimacy and relationships all have strong links with obesity due to stigmatization, isolation, verbal abuse and bullying (Edmunds, 2008). All health-effects discussed are serious and not only reduce an individual’s quality of life but often can be fatal (Biro and Wien, 2010).

WRITING your HLTB02 Assignment—Part 2