Emotions— A Crash Course! 

1. Emotions—A Crash Course!  Jeanne L. Jensma, Ph.D. ALONGSIDE AWR Conference SEND International October 6, 2010

2. God of Emotion—People of Emotion I. Passionate God II. Purposeful emotion III. “Forbidden” feelings IV. Failure feelings V. The Fundamental feeling

3. I. Passionate God God’s Emotions

4. I. Passionate God God’s Emotions Love Joy Peace Jealousy Anger/Wrath Sadness/Grief (Etc.)

5. I. Passionate God Jesus’ Emotions

6. I. Passionate God Jesus’ Emotions Love Joy Anger Fear Loneliness Grief (Etc.!) (Emotional Wholeness, Richard Mohline)

7. I. Passionate God Passionate God  Passionate People To be godly, we must be passionate!

8. II. Purposeful Emotion We were created for Garden-living!

9. II. Purposeful Emotion We were created for Garden-living! We’re not in Eden any more!

10. II. Purposeful Emotion We were created for Garden-living! We’re not in Eden any more! PAIN! LOSS! HURT! DANGER! (Interspersed with reminders of Eden and foreshadowings of Heaven)

11. II. Purposeful Emotion We were created for Garden-living! We’re not in Eden any more! PAIN! LOSS! HURT! DANGER! (Interspersed with reminders of Eden and foreshadowings of Heaven). So-called “negative” emotions equip us for thorn-living.

12. II. Purposeful Emotion We were created for Garden-living! We’re not in Eden any more! PAIN! LOSS! HURT! DANGER! (Interspersed with reminders of Eden and foreshadowings of Heaven). So-called “negative” emotions equip us for thorn-living. So-called “negative” emotions are gifts from God!

13. II. Purposeful Emotion We were created for Garden-living!  We’re not in Eden any more!  PAIN! LOSS! HURT! DANGER! (Interspersed with reminders of Eden and foreshadowings of Heaven). So-called “negative” emotions equip us for thorn-living. So-called “negative” emotions are gifts from God.

14. II. Purposeful Emotion Emotional Intelligence: IQ = Intelligence Quotient EQ = Emotions Quotient

15. II. Purposeful Emotion High EQ invites intimacy. High EQ helps create intimacy. High EQ sustains intimacy.

16. II. Purposeful Emotion High EQ helps us get to heart-issues in our own lives and the lives of others! Getting to heart issues  More effective ministry!

17. II. Purposeful Emotion High EQ Knowing what I am feeling “in the moment”; being able to experience my feelings and name them; being able to share my feelings with safe others when I choose to do so, but being able to keep my feelings to myself when appropriate; being able to express my feelings but without allowing them to control me; being sensitive to others’ feelings, and having skills in inviting others to share their feelings; being a person with whom others feel safe sharing their hearts; being a good listener and a good reflector of others’ feelings.

18. II. Purposeful Emotion How Is Your EQ? 

19. II. Purposeful Emotion (And if you are married—How is your spouse’s EQ?) 

20. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings Fear Grief Anger Loneliness Depression

21. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Fear Purpose of Fear— to alert us to danger and equip us to deal with the danger

22. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Fear Dealing with Fear in the moment: Deep breathing “Smiley” face Safe place Total-body relaxation Meditation Prevention: Consistent aerobic exercise

23. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Grief Purpose of Grief— to give a us process that provides healing for loss

24. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Grief Dealing with Grief: Balance “alone” times and “together” times Eat, drink, sleep, exercise appropriately Put your pain into words—pray, journal, talk to SAFE others Learn to “postpone” rather than “squash” Set aside times of remembrance Grieve, but do not allow grief to dominate your life

25. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Anger Purpose of Anger— to alert us to injustice and equip us to deal with injustice

26. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Anger Dealing with Anger: Check the facts Align your perspective Find constructive use for extra adrenaline Forgive when appropriate

27. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Loneliness Purpose of Loneliness— to remind us that we were created for relationship and to motivate us to reach out towards others

28. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Loneliness “Sometimes in church circles when people are lonely, we will tell them not to expect too much from human relationships, that there is inside every human being a God-shaped void that no other person can fill. That is true. But apparently according to the writer of Genesis God creates inside this man a kind of ‘human-shaped void’ that God himself will not fill.” John Ortberg

29. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Loneliness Dealing with Loneliness: Seek friendships around mutual interests Develop NETWORK of friends, community Spread relational needs over many friends Seek mentoring in friendship-building Don’t allow loneliness to entice you into dangerous friendships Discern which void needs filling

30. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Depression Purpose of Depression— to remind us that we are in a Fallen world where there is much pain, to motivate us to search out the cause of our pain and seek healing for it, and to prompt us to long for Jesus’ return, when He will make ALL THINGS RIGHT!

31. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Depression Dealing with “Garden Variety” Depression: (not “clinical” depression!) Eat, drink, sleep, exercise appropriately Focus on something positive Do something nice for somebody Smile! Prevention: Consistent aerobic exercise

32. III. Five “Forbidden” Feelings—Summary Anger—to alert us to danger and equip us to deal with the danger Grief—to give us a process that provides healing for loss Anger—to alert us to injustice and equip us to deal with the injustice Loneliness—to remind us that we were created for relationship and to motivate us to reach out towards others Depression—to remind us that we are in a Fallen world where there is much pain, to motivate us to search out the cause of our pain and seek healing for it, and to prompt us to long for Jesus’ return when He will make ALL THINGS RIGHT!

33. IV. Two “Failure” Feelings Shame—The feeling that I am bad, that there is something wrong with me, with who I am, with my very person, my essence. Guilt—The feeling that I did something bad, that there is something wrong with my behavior.

34. IV. Two “Failure” Feelings True Shame—Apart from Christ, there is something very wrong with my person. Solution: Come to Christ and accept His atonement to make me “good” instead of “bad.” True Guilt—I have sinned in thought, word and deed. I have broken God’s moral law. Solution: confess to God and person sinned against. Make restitution if possible.

35. IV. Two “Failure” Feelings False Shame—Once I am “in Christ,” I am a new creature, I am the righteousness of God, I am a saint. I must argue with the Enemy’s attempts to make me feel false shame. False Guilt—I have not sinned in this situation, even though other people may think my behavior is wrong. I must argue with the Accuser of the Brethren!

36. V. One Fundamental Feeling JOY! Shalom is “The webbing together of God, humans, and all creation in justice, fulfillment, and delight.” Neil Plantinga

37. SUMMARY • Passionate God  Passionate People • Emotions have a purpose • Negative—to equip us to live in a Fallen World • Positive—to experience a glimpse, foretaste of Heaven • Both—to invite, create, sustain intimacy with God and others • High EQ consists of being able to share our emotions with others and enter into theirs

38. SUMMARY High EQ Deeper relationships Deeper level of community Greater personal wholeness Greater ministry effectiveness

39. Emotions—A Crash Course!  Jeanne L. Jensma, Ph.D. ALONGSIDE AWR Conference SEND International October 6, 2010