Spiritually Sensitive person-centered Counseling

1. Spiritually Sensitive person-centered Counseling My approach to individual counseling.

2. William James& carl Rogers • My approach combines the pluralism of William James with the incongruence and empathy of Carl Rogers.

3. William James • William James is the author of The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902/2004). • “Although all the special manifestations of religion may have been absurd (I mean its creeds and theories), yet the life of it as a whole is mankind’s most important function” (Letter to Miss Frances R. Morse, in The Letters of William James, vol II, 1920, p. 127).

4. William James, con’t • Monists view the soul as an illusion and the body as the only reality. • Dualists view the soul and body as two separate realities. • William James was a pluralist, by which he meant: • There is no system of rules that works in every situation or at all times. • He considered monism a hypothesis -- and his intuition was that it was not a correct hypothesis.

5. Pluralism: at least 12 areas ofincongruence, which may overlap • Physical. • Mental. • Emotional. • Attachment issues. • Social/relational. • Spiritual. • Moral. • Creative (the ways we see and express the world differently). • Revolutionary (the ways in which we wish the world were different). • Maslow’s basic needs: physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem. • Maslow’s higher needs: self-realization, self-transcendence. • Meaning and meaningful work.

6. incongruence • We do not experience in feedback from others what we expect and want to experience and/or • We do not feel we can honestly and accurately communicate our feelings &/or thoughts in a relationship. • When we are congruent in a communication w/ another, we are authentic with that person. • If the client does not feel that there is an incongruence in their life and a need for congruence and authenticity, then no amount of counseling will result in inner or inter-personal growth. • One possible exception may be group counseling, which can inspire and resolve incongruence.

7. Spiritually sensitive person-centered counseling is: • Psychological contact. • Incongruence in any of the 12 areas of concern for the client. • Genuineness, authenticity, & congruence from the counselor. • Unconditional positive regard and acceptance (non-possessory love/agape). • Empathy. • Perception by the client of the counselor’s empathy and acceptance. • Understanding (of the client’s emotional, intellectual,spiritual, and moral concerns, and ability to restate those accurately). • Privacy and Confidentiality. • Patience and Optimism.

8. Keep Turning the client back to their own judgment • The client may keep turning outside herself for guidance. • S/he may look to a moral or religious code for guidance. • S/he may look to her parents or family for guidance. • S/he may look to the counselor for answers. • The key is to keep tuning the client back into her/himself for guidance. • The counselor does this by repeating his/her understanding of the client’s meanings and feelings in each of 12 critical areas of incongruence and • Waiting for the client to re-voice her/his concerns again. • With each re-statement, the client will go deeper and arrive closer to an accurate expression of her true-self.

9. Process vs. Content • These are all matters of process. • They all concern how to approach the client, not what the client is expected to learn. • The only additions to Rogers are explicitly naming the 12 critical areas, including spiritual and moral. • These additions are tacit and need never be made explicit unless the client leads there.

10. Why is the counselor needed? • If counseling is all a process and just a matter of referring the client back to their own judgment, why is the counselor needed? Because: • Existential philosophy pointed out it takes two to create meaning. • Growth takes two: one to grow and the other to witness and validate that growth. • Mental health is relational experience. • Without the counselor’s prodding, we would become lazy. • Without the counselor’s reflecting our meaning accurately and empathically, we would loose faith in ourselves.

11. Yes & No • We require some positive feedback (some smiles). • A little “yes” goes a long way.

12. Negative Feedback • For dialogue and learning and growth, we must also have a little “no,” a little negative feedback, a little conflict between our worldview and the world’s view of us. • Many person’s self-esteem is so fragile that even a little negative feedback can be devastating – especially coming from a person of power and authority such as the counselor. • They have received negative feedback all their lives: from parents, teachers, et al. • They already carry that negative, critical voice inside them. • Who are we to tell them what is “right” for them? • They must figure out what is right for them.

13. Negative Feedback, continued: • To be effective in counseling, all the “no” must come from within the client. • It must be a “no” that is congruent with the client’s true-self, not imposed from without. • Clients can be trusted to continue to question themselves until they feel Ok about themselves alone and in relationships. • That is the goal of therapy; not for the client to behave in ways that are Ok with the therapist (or anyone else, including other family members), but to behave in ways that are Ok w/ the client’s true-self. • The counselor’s job is limited to correctly and empathically reflecting the client’s meanings and feelings in 12 problematic areas. • Then waiting for the client to re-state their own concern again: with each re-statement, the client will go a little deeper, get a little closer to expressing themselves authentically. • The client will take it from there: I believe each individual is a soul who has infinite capacity for growth – and desire to grow. • Each client knows in what ways they need and want to grow. • We, client and counselor, also need occasional breaks.

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