Children’s Reactions to War from a Distance: Parent and Child Perspectives

1. Children’s Reactions to War from a Distance: Parent and Child Perspectives Judith A. Myers-Walls, Ph.D., CFLE, Purdue University Karen S. Myers-Bowman, Ph.D., CFLE, Kansas State University

2. ABSTRACT Very little research has compared the perspectives of parents and children reacting to political violence. Children were interviewed and parents completed questionnaires in 1991, 1999, and 2009/2003. Both groups reported on the children’s reactions to wars/political violence at the time. Both parents and children reported fears and worries. Children reported anger and sadness that parents did not recognize, and parents reported patriotism at a much higher level than children.

3. INTRODUCTION/ LITERATURE REVIEW • War/political violence is a difficult, adult matter, but adults are not the only people affected. • Many armed conflicts around the world have involved ethnic clashes, border disputes, and civil wars felt at the family and community levels, as well as the national and international levels (Garbarino, Kostelny, & Dubrow, 1991). • One of the social systems overlooked in many of the studies and writings on this topic is the family, the most basic unit in any society. • “The family is the single most important resource in dealing with catastrophic stress” (Figley, 1983, p. 20). • A balance of social supports from and for parents are important when helping children cope with violence (Garbarino, 1997). • Family members are often the first responders when children encounter war/political violence, and children take cues for their reactions from parents and others who care for them. • To help children cope with political violence, parents and caregivers are powerful resources. • Parents may try to shield children from the atrocities and difficult emotions that accompany political violence by avoiding the topic altogether. • In a modern technological age when information and images travel around the world in a moment, children rarely can escape exposure to political violence. Figley, C. R. (1983). Catastrophes: An overview of family reactions. In C. R. Figley & H. I. McCubbin, Stress and the family: Coping with catastrophe (pp. 3-20). New York: Brunner Mazel. Garbarino, J. (1997). Growing up in a socially toxic environment. In D. Cicchetti & S. L. Toth (Eds.). Developmental perspectives on trauma: Theory, research, and intervention. Rochester symposium on developmental psychology, Vol. 8. (pp. 141-154). Rochester, NY: University of Rochester Press. Garbarino, J., Kostelny, K., & Dubrow, N. (1991). What can children tell us about living in danger? American Psychologist, 46(4, April), 376-83.

4. Parents must choose between protecting their children or preparing them (Harlap, 2005). • Too much emphasis on the protection aspect can result in adults not recognizing or meeting children’s needs. • Too much emphasis on preparing the children may put them in a role for which they are not prepared. • An appropriate step is to examine how children react to war and terrorism and also examine what their parents think about the children’s reactions. • A clear understanding of the match or mismatch of child and parent perceptions of children’s reactions will help us develop constructive approaches and recommendations for parents and other caregivers of young and school-age children. RESEARCH QUESTIONS • How do U.S. children describe their reactions to political violence they have observed from a distance? • How do parents describe the reactions of their children to political violence observed from a distance? • How do the parents’ and children’s reports of the children’s reactions to political violence observed from a distance compare?

5. DATA COLLECTION • Data were gathered at three times when war or political violence was in the media in the U.S. • WAVE 1: 5-8 months after the end of the ground war in the Persian Gulf in 1991, data were collected in the Midwestern U.S. with 46 children (22 boys and 24 girls) from 3 to 11 years of age, and from 39 parents (28 mothers and 11 fathers) who were matched with 31 of the children. Complete data were available on 18 pairs of parents and children aged 5 to 11 (M=7.4 years). Those pairs included 5 boys and 13 girls and 4 fathers and 14 mothers. • WAVE 2: Data were collected in the U.S. after the bombing of Belgrade, Yugoslavia by NATO in connection with the Kosovo crisis of 1999. In this study, data from 14 parents (9 mothers and 5 fathers) and 20 children ages 3 to 12 (M=7.9 years; 11 boys and 9 girls) were matched in 28 pairs. • WAVE 3: 5-8 months after the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, data were collected in Indiana, Kansas and Idaho from 60 children ages 3 to 17 and 25 parents. 38 matched pairs of children and parents were included. The children ranged in age from 4 to 15 (M=7.9 years) and included 22 boys and 16 girls, and 16 fathers and 22 mothers.

6. CHILDREN’S INTERVIEW PROCEDURE • The children’s interviews began by asking them to draw pictures of war and peace. • Then they were asked questions about war, peace, terrorism, and enemies. • They also were asked if they knew anything about a real war and then about their reactions/feelings related to that war. (In 1991, a probe question asked if they knew anything about a war in the Persian Gulf, in 1999 they were not asked if they knew about any specific conflicts, and in 2002 they were asked if they knew anything about attacks in New York and Washington DC on September 11.) • If a child indicated s/he knew about a real war, the interviewer asked an open-ended question about how s/he felt during the war. • This was followed with probes about specific reactions (e.g., afraid, angry, sad, worried, excited, proud, happy and whether s/he had any nightmares or bad dreams about war). If s/he said yes to any of them, the interviewer asked for more explanation. If the child did not recognize any of the probes or did not know anything about a real war, s/he was not asked the probes about any specific reactions.

7. PARENT QUESTIONNAIRE • Parents completed written questionnaires that included a list of children’s reactions to war/political violence. • The items were closed-ended and were based on specific circumstances of the current conflict, findings in the literature, or our own previous studies. Therefore, the lists of reactions were not exactly the same across the three time periods. COMPARING PARENT AND CHILD REPORTS • All reactions used in the analyses for this study were offered as choices for both the parents and the children within each time period. However, the reaction categories differed slightly by time period. • During interviews, children were asked about their overall reactions and then were encouraged to expand on each reaction they reported experiencing, but without using any specific probes. • Parents’ answers were coded directly from the written questionnaires. • Children’s reactions were coded from the transcripts of the interviews. • When coding children’s answers, both spontaneous reports of a particular reaction and their responses to specific questions asking about reactions were examined. • For both parents and children, reactions were coded as either present or absent.

8. Table 1. Reaction categories used within each data collection time period.

9. Figure 1: Percentages of parents and children reporting specific child reactions to Persian Gulf War, 1991 • Primary parent categories • Fears: The war would come here • Worries: About people in general; about the environment • Quotes from child interviews • {“I was afraid] sometimes—that they might start bombing here.” • “I saw guns that they might shoot me.” • Fears and worries were closely related. • Happiness: related to the end of the war: I was “happy to know that it was going to be over.” • Sadness: “[When the war started I felt] sad. A lot of people would be killed.” • Sadness and anger: [After the war ended, I felt] sad and angry that people fight.”

10. Figure 2: Percentages of parents and children reporting specific child reactions to the Kosovo crisis, 1999 • Primary parent categories • Only 25% of parents reported any child reactions. • No parent reported more than one. • Quotes from child interviews • Children may have been using a wider frame of reference. • Fears: “Of like war coming here? I used to be when I was a little kid, ‘cause I was scared somebody would come and bomb my house, but now I would be more afraid if I actually heard something about a war might be starting.”

11. Figure 3: Percentages of parents and children reporting specific child reactions to the 9/11 attacks, 2002 • Primary parent categories • Fears: The war would come here • New categories: Fear of flying in airplanes, fear of terrorism, fear of tall buildings. • Worries: Worry about people in general • Increase in worry about specific people • Pride: Primarily patriotism. • Quotes from child interviews • Do you ever feel afraid? “Sometimes because in wars they take other people’s country.” • “[I’m afraid of] me getting killed or my friends.” • Do you ever feel sad? “Kind of.” About what? “People are dying.” • Sadness: “They argued instead of talked. “

12. Comparisons of parent and child reports • Children reported more reactions than their parents, especially after the first Persian Gulf War. • The difference between “fears” and “worries” may be a matter of semantics. • Parents report patriotism and national pride at a much higher rate than children. • Parents reported almost no child reactions after the Kosovo crisis. Did the children answer the questions about “real war” in this instance by referring to their reactions to any war? Did parents and children talk less about this conflict because it was not covered as heavily in the media? • There was almost no correspondence between children’s and parents’ reports of nightmares. • Parents recognized their children’s sadness about wars, although children reported that reaction at a higher level than their parents recognized.

13. DISCUSSION/IMPLICATIONS • Many parents recognize that their children are aware of war/political violence, even from afar. • The proximity and/or level of media coverage in the US seems to influence the parents’ awareness of their children’s reactions (as well as the children’s reactions). • Parents report patriotism and national pride as children’s reactions, but children do not. These are abstract concepts and may not seem connected to the war events in the minds of children. • Nightmares are very personal events that were reported very differently by parents and children. • We cannot assume that parents or children alone can report the whole story of children’s reactions. It is important to talk to both groups in research and practice. • Children often are afraid or worried when they hear about wars/political conflicts. Adults can correct misunderstandings and reassure children realistically. • Children are not worried only about themselves. They also feel sad and angry. Parents can acknowledge and support their altruism.