Harassment & Abuse in the High School Environment

1. Harassment & Abusein the High School Environment Presented by: Andy Yeager… Stephanie Mulfinger, LCSW Coordinator, Bergen County Traumatic Loss Coalition

2. All students have a right to receive an education and to attend schools free from abuse and harassment

3. Civil Rights Act; TITLE IX • Federal Law which protects students from sex discrimination, including sexual harassment by a student or faculty member • Schools can be held responsible for failing to stop the harassment of a student • The school is responsible to take action to stop the harassment once the school becomes aware of the situation

4. Sexual Harassment … is generally defined as physical or verbal conduct of a sexual nature that is unwelcome and unwanted • Is the action unwelcome? • Is the action unwanted?

5. Is this behavior or action unwelcome? Or unwanted? The answer will be determined by: • The relationship between the two individuals AND • The perception of the individual subjected to the behavior

6. The relationship is a factor when …. Touching (such as a hug, tap, pat ) or a comment of a sexual nature may, at times, be acceptable among friends. However, this behavior can be viewed as unwelcome sexual harassment!

7. The perception is a factor when…. • Sometimes vague, questionable or even seemingly innocent comments or gestures can be perceived as uncomfortable • Especially for those who have a history or past experience with other forms of harassment or abuse

8. Sexual Harassment ... Crosses the line from inappropriate behavior to a criminal act when the behavior is: • Severe and Pervasive • Obviously Offensive

9. Severe and Pervasive means… • A repeated pattern of behavior that occurs over a period of time • A single comment or incident does not constitute harassment, UNLESS

10. The behavior is Obviously Offensive when… • The conduct is so offensive, vulgar or inappropriate that “No reasonable person would perceive the behavior as innocent.” • Here, a single comment or gesture could qualify as objectively offensive

11. Sexual Harassment can be: • Verbal • Non-Verbal Conduct • Physical

12. Verbal • Repeated sexual remarks about a person’s body, clothing, or personal life • Frequent sexual teasing • Repeated sexual requests or invitations Especially • After being told they are unwelcome or unwanted

13. Non Verbal Conduct • Staring, gawking, leering, whistling • Posting or displaying sexual materials or pictures • Lewd hand or bodily gestures • Mimicking sexual expressions or actions

14. Physical Contact • Fondling, grabbing, patting, pinching, slapping, spanking • Especially in the breasts, buttocks or genital area • Actual or attempted kissing • “Accidentally” touching or bumping into another individual

15. Other Types of Harassment • Dating Violence/Abuse from current or previous relationships • Bullying • Racism

16. Why doesn’t anybody tell? • Anxiety & Worry “What will my friends and family think about me?” “Everyone will think something is wrong with me!” • Guilt & Self Blame “It’s my fault, I deserved it!” “I should have said no, I should have stopped it!” • Fear, Shame & Embarrassment: “No one will believe me! They will think I liked it!” “It’s my word against theirs!”

17. What should I do if it happens to me? • Remember; this is not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of another person • Talk to someone you trust, you are not alone • Tell the person to stop. Let them know their actions are unwelcome and unwanted • Try to avoid being alone with this person. Walk away from the situation • Try to remember dates and times of the incident(s), tell someone else as soon as possible • Report inappropriate behavior to the school, it is difficult to help you if no one knows what is happening. • Remember, your school has a policy against sexual harassment and abuse

18. What should I do if this happens to one of my friends? • Try to be supportive and not judgemental • Tell them is not their fault and they are not responsible for the actions of another person • Encourage them to stay away from the harasser • Encourage them to report this to an adult, family member, school official or to the police • Tell an adult that you trust about your concerns for this person • Don’t spread rumors or false information

19. What should I do if someone I am dating is being harassed?

20. What should I do if the person harassing me or my friend is the same gender? • Both males and females can be sexually harassed • The offender can also be a male or a female • Sexual harassment is wrong, regardless of the gender of either person • Sexual harassment is unwelcome and unwanted, therefore it has no bearing on the sexual preferences of the person being harassed • If someone is harassed by another person, who is the same gender, it does not mean that they are homosexual

21. What is my school’s policy? • ??

22. How can I feel safe at school? • Become familiar with your school’s policy on sexual harassment and know how to file a complaint • Follow your school’s policies regarding appropriate behavior • Know the counseling and guidance faculty at your school, they are available to help • Report any incidents that occur in the school to the faculty and/or to an adult that you trust • Once your school is aware of the harassment, they can take action to help and protect you!