The Art of Managing Boundaries

1. The Art of Managing Boundaries Jane Halonen Anita Schonberger

2. Purpose of Presentation • Review common threats to healthy boundary practices • Identify risks of boundary violations • Explore strategies to “pre-empt” boundary hassles

3. Common Boundary Questions: • Why is boundary management an institutional concern? • How “close” should you be with students? • Is consensual relationship permissible? Advisable? • What if students want more than you are willing to give? • Why do faculty pursue students?

4. Why Is There Concern? • Harassment stats place faculty in unflattering light. ~ 30% undergrad/40% grad females report unwelcome faculty encounters during career ~ Teaching is already beleaguered ~ Exploitive professors make us less trustworthy • Boundary mismanagement can lead to complaints and more

5. What about Academic Freedom? Academic freedom does not offset professional responsibility for climate: CBA Article 5. Academic freedom is accompanied by the corresponding responsibility to “respect students, staff, and colleagues as individuals; treat them in a collegial manner; and avoid any exploitation of such persons for private advantage.”

6. What about Personal Choice? There are some who advocate consensual relationships as acceptable or even desirable: here is bad example “I believe the best teaching is done in bed. I’m totally serious. It’s healthy and appropriate for the student and teacher to have a love relationship whenever possible.” ~Allen Ginsburg Cited by Paul Abramson, author of Romance in the Ivory Tower: The Rights and Liberty of Conscience (2007)

7. How close is close enough? • “Student-centered” can be a misnomer. ~ We are known for personalized environment to promote effective learning and caring but ~ Primary care should be about quality of learning for all students ~ Caring can be easily misconstrued • General tip: Friendly, but not familiar.

8. How familiar is familiar? • Rethink unquestioned practices: ~ having student babysit or perform other personal services (e.g., car-washing, grape-picking) ~ singling out one student of a specific group to get special treatment (e.g., hiring for extra duties on unrelated grant) ~ any practice that gives a student unfair information advantage over other students (e.g., seeing others’ files) ~ parties involving alcohol and selected students, especially the under-aged

9. Is Consensuality Permissible? • Yes… CBA allows consensual relationship at UWF with two stipulations: 1. Notify supervisor. 2. Remove conflict of interest. Includes grading, scholarship support, grad admission decisions, etc. Note: This extends consideration to any students over whom you have power.

10. CBA Policy on Consensual Relations “Consenting romantic and sexual relationships between faculty and student, while not expressly forbidden, are discouraged. The respect and trust accorded a professor by a student, as well as the power exercised by the professor in giving grades, evaluations, advice, or recommendations creates an imbalance of power and may diminish the student’s actual freedom of choice.” Article 6.

11. Is Consensuality Advisable? • No… Fosters perceptions of favoritism. Creates aura of secrecy. Confers special status that may be transient. Places extra burden on learning climate. Expresses lack of understanding of power dynamics and abuses of power.

12. Faculty Rationalizations Examples of faculty thinking that can lead to trouble: ~It’s okay as long as no one gets hurt. ~It’s okay as long as I don’t gain personally. ~I can be objective (not like those other professors). ~Everyone else does it. Why shouldn’t I? ~It’s consensual.

13. Risk of Ruined Romance Greater harm tends to befall the least powerful after breakup: The Student • may redefine relationship as nonconsensual • may lose confidence in abilities and flee • may have been alienated from supports • may fear faculty reprisal • could become unhinged

14. Risk to Faculty Member • Other students view you as partial, opportunistic • Colleagues view you as exercising poor judgment • University may view you as exercising unprofessional conduct • The potential for a “Fatal Attraction” moment (it may not be a boiled bunny but broken-hearted angry lovers can get even in unpleasant ways)

15. What Can UWF Do to Minimize? • Challenge the colleague to think through consequences and risks of actions • Evaluate boundary practices in interviews • Provide extra support when faculty may be more vulnerable to bad judgment • Provide specific training, including rehearsal of typical boundary challenge moments • Adhere to fair and fast investigatory practice • Document everything

16. Why do students seek attention? • Faculty are attractive because ~ Local celebrities ~ Students can “bask in reflected glory” (BIRG) ~ Capturing professor attention reassures students of their special status ~ Other unpleasant personality dynamics (e.g., you remind the student of a parent and why not work out those issues with you?)

17. What If Student Persists? • Obsessions do happen on campuses--> Case 1: A faculty member gets summoned by dean who received a letter from an unhinged student asking for help in getting their affair to end. The letter also sent to his wife and the president… Case 2: A student who decides the faculty member must be her “birth mother” and begins to bring presents and otherwise intrude into faculty life because the faculty agreed to meet her off campus to help her…

18. How Can Faculty Pre-Empt? • Do not provide home or cell phone number • Evaluate your “touching” practices: Litmus test: Would you touch all students in the same way? • Return presents or donate them to public setting (e.g. department, charity) • Review and constrain personal narratives to illustrate class concepts • Anticipate, rehearse typical tough moments, e.g. “Is there anything I can do to improve my grade??” • Offer help freely but in public settings

19. When Students Become Sticky Fans • Confront student and ask for clarification of intent • Spell out your limits and don’t WOBBLE • Keep copies of communications and send to chair and student’s advisor • Document attempted unwelcome contacts • Involve trusted others (may need later as witnesses) • Consider campus judicial process or even restraining order

20. CBA Definition of Sexual Harassment “Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when • Submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of employment or academic success. • Submission of rejection of such conduct is used as the basis for employment or academic decisions. • Such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work or academic performance or creating an intimidating or offensive working or learning environment.” CBA,Article 6.

21. Possible Discussion Scenarios EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITY • You become aware that someone in the department has generated a lot of gossip about possible inappropriate boundary behavior at a discipline-based convention. What professional expectations would guide your behavior?

22. Possible Discussion Scenarios CUT ME A BREAK • A student asks for a private appointment and explains that he/she is unable to complete an assignment on time because life has just been too hard but would be interested in doing anything to secure a better grade in your class? What is the best response?

23. Possible Discussion Scenarios CLASSROOM GOODIES • A colleague brags that students always bring her bags of Snickers bars at some point in the semester because they find out it is her favorite. She claims not to know what prompts the students’ behavior but manages to mention her preferences systematically in every course. What are the issues? What steps, if any, should be taken?

24. Possible Discussion Scenarios LOVESICK & LOVEHAPPY • You comment at lunch that a colleague looks a little tired. She affirms the fatigue and states that it is from the new and exciting relationship that has blossomed with her new grad student. She states that she hopes you aren’t a prude but she is happier than she has ever been. What response can you make to be most helpful?

25. Possible Discussion Scenarios GRATITUDE • One of your favorite students in the course gives you a $50 gift certificate at the end of the course for a job well done. Should you accept this gesture? Are there any hidden risks in receiving this level of appreciation?

26. For follow-up questions and comments: Jane Halonen jhalonen@uwf.edu Anita Schonberger aschonberger@uwf.edu

27. Conclusion University not interested in being morality police but invested in championing a culture in which all can optimize their learning.