THE SQUASHED BANANA

1. THE SQUASHED BANANA

2. Top tens!Top ten goat songs: • Party in the USA • I knew you were trouble • Blown away • Friday • Baby • Livin on a Prayer • What makes you beautiful • I will always love you • Girl on fire • Titanium Disclaimer- If you have not watched ANY of these videos please do so now because they are all amazing works of art)

3. TOP TENS! TOP TEN FUNNY CITY NAMES

4. Meanwhile look at these hilarious street signs…

5. Props to these newspaper editors

6. Media Reviews: Red Riding Hood Well, I don’t really go to the movie theater a lot. The last movie I saw in theaters was Finding Nemo in 3D. It was extremely entertaining and I suggest that our whole chapter sees it sometime. Anyway, I don’t even know what movies are out in theaters right now but I think Safe Haven is playing and that seems kind of cool because it stars Julianne Hough and who doesn’t love her so I bet it’s a good movie. I’ll be giving you three movie reviews of movies that I recommend and that I hate. First, I recommend that you all watch Red Riding Hood. The stars are Amanda Syfried and Shiloh Fernandez and it is honestly one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. I’m completely obsessed with it as most of you guys know. I literally watched it 5 times within one day. The plot basically consistes of a girl who lives in a poor village that is terrorized by a ferocious, man eating werewolf that happens to kill Valerie’s (Amanda Syfried’s) sister. Once that happens the villagers go look for the wolf and more people die but it is actually a really romantic movie because it proves that if somebody really loves you, they will talk to you even after you stab them with a pocket knife for no reason. I bet you don’t exactly understand what I’m saying now but you really want to, so I suggest that you go watch the movie NOW. Whoever texts me first saying: • Who the wolf is • Lists every person that dies • Who their favorite character is • Will get a REALLY cool candle!

7. Media Reviews:More Movies Another movie that I strongly recommend is LOL, starring Miley Cyrus. I know that a lot of people in this world don’t respect Miley ever since she decided to end Hannah Montana, but this movie is the bomb! The only way I can describe it is as basically a more dramatic twist of every teenage girl’s life. This movie is really good if you either want to feel better about your life or if you feel like your life has too much drama in it. Whoever texts me the ending gets candy! Lastly, I really hate the movie Paul Blart : Mall Cop. I saw it when I was in 5th grade and I will never forget how horrible it was. The cruelty in it was too overwhelming. It victimized this really fat guy that just wanted a life and wasn’t funny at all. Sorry if some of you guys liked it but I wasn’t exactly amused at all.

8. FOOD! • Banana Bread Recipe • Prep time: 5 minutes • Cook time: 1 hour • Add to shopping list • Ingredients • 3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed • 1/3 cup melted butter • 1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup) • 1 egg, beaten • 1 teaspoon vanilla • 1 teaspoon baking soda • Pinch of salt • 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour • No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

9. FOOD continued • I know that a lot of you know what “Slutty Brownies” are. However, you might not know how to make them….SO: • INGREDIENTS: • Brownie Mix • Cookie Dough • Box of Double Stuffed Oreos • DIRECTIONS: • Preheat the oven to 350 • First, put the cookie dough into the bottom of a nonstick pan and make sure to completely cover the bottom • Then, Place the doubles stuffed oreos all along the cookie dough (Make sure that the oreos are whole and not broken or crushed in any way!) • Then, prepare the brownie batter like it says on the box and pour it all over the oreos and cookie dough. • Then, pop the whole thing in the oven for like 45 minutes (depending on your oven! I did it at my friends house and it literally took an hour and a half to bake, but at my house it only took 45 minutes) • Then cut it and eat it • YAY YOU JUST ATE SLUTTY BROWNIES

10. Random TRIVIA • What color is blood? • Green • Blue • Red • Purple • What is the Capital of Ethiopia? • Addis Ababa • Kansas • Moo • Astana • Who came up with the term “Cliff Hanger”? • Shakespeare • Charles Dickens • Albert Einstein • Edgar Allen Poe • How many different types of Oreos are there? • 33 • 59 • 17 • 40 • Which one of these is NOT a planet? • Saturn • Mars • Pluto • Earth

11. BK TRIVIA • HOW WELL DO YOU KNOWN YOUR OWN CHAPTER? • Who was our chapter’s last N’siah? • Michelle Wasserman • Danielle Margolis • Becky Godfrey • Ally Wigutow • Who is our chapter’s current advisor? • Lizzie • Rachel • Bob • Ally Wigutow • What is our chapter mascot? • Banana • Tweety • Garfield • Ally Wigutow • What is our chapter movie? • Mean Girls • Pitch Perfect • Coyote Ugly • Ally Wigutow vs. The World • Who are all of the Seniors in our chapter? • Melissa Godfrey, Michelle Wasserman, Leah Fisher, Nikki Golomb, and Danielle Koval • Carly Rosenthal, Michelle Wasserman, Leah Fisher, Melissa Godfrey, and Nikki Golomb • Danielle Koval, Leah Fisher, Melissa Godfrey, Nikki Golomb, Michelle Wasserman, Emily Rogal, Lauren Wakefield and Carly Rosenthal • Ally Wigutow

12. Bk trivia CONTINUES • Who is our brother chapter? • None, we hate everybody • SiAt AZA • Melech AZA • Ally Wigutow AZA • What is our chapter song? • Like a Prayer • We are never ever getting back together • Twinkle Twinkle Little Star • The Ally Wigutow Song • What are our chapter numbers? • 369 • 639 • 69 • 639639639639 • Name our current board? • Danielle Margolis, Molly Freedman, Becky Godfrey, Maya Ben-Yosef, Dayna Wallace, Randi Rubenstien, Aviva Braier, Rosalie Freedman, and Cali Saturn • Michelle Wasserman, Rachel Casper, Danielle Margolis, Aviva Braier, Alexa Brenner, Molly Freedman, and Becky Godfrey • Becky Godfrey, Maya Ben-Yosef, Alexa Brenner, Morgyn Alter, Cali Saturn, Rosalie Freedman, Dayna Wallace, Ally Wigutow, and Danielle Koval • Emily Rogal, Intergalactic N’siah • Our chapter’s spirit day theme was? • Slumber Party • Dogs • Zombies • USA

13. A message from Danielle Tobb • I'm a MIT at BK and I just joined, my name is Danielle T. and everyone is so nice and makes me feel so welcomed! Joining has been such a great decision because now I go to an event every single weekend and I just love it! I can't wait for more events in the future! Shoutout to Alexa Brenner for being the best MIT mom ever! And Ally Wigutoe, Morgyn Alter, Maya Ben-Yosef, and Rebecca Godfrey for being one of the first people to talk to me and be so niceee

14. An article by madisonwakefield • The Banana MurdererBy Madison WakefieldIt was a stormy Tuesday night. Or was it a Wednesday? I could never remember those types of things. Let just say it was on Thursday. It was a stormy Thursday night, I, Detective Peel, was in my office investigating the doughnuts in the break room, they mysteriously kept on appearing in my stomach. When I was done and heading out the front door to go home, I heard a scream. I followed the sound to a small house. Kicking the door open, I crept into the living room, a female banana sobbing next to a dead banana. “Excuse me miss, I’m with the BSLD, Banana Secret League of Detectives, can you explain to me what happened?” Trying to hold back tears, the female spoke, “My name is Yellow, Yellow B. Anana. I went to get my husband, Ripe N. B. Anana, for dinner but when I came in, he was dead! Someone broke in and took his other half!!!” She broke down in sobs again. I looked at the victim, and I realized that only his left side remained like she had said. I said my goodbyes and left the house. It was then that I had realized a trail of melted ice cream and chocolate syrup; The Banana Splitter. You can’t make a banana split with just one half of a banana, there must be another victim. I decided I could not wait till morning, I walked foot after foot tracing where the flavorful evidence led to. There was debris blocking me to go any further, a female banana. I stepped over the one half of the victim carefully, so I didn’t get any banana mush on my new shoes, and kept on following the trail of sweets. The trail stopped when I reached Apple Strudel town, very odd. I was almost done with this mystery. Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming closer towards me, closer, and faster! “Not so fast apple stranger!” I turn around and surely enough it was an apple stammering towards me, with a surprised look in his face! “H-how did you know it-t was me?” The apple stammered. “Well it was really quite simple; the trail of melted ice cream and chocolate syrup led me to Apple Strudel town, which everybody knows is only populated by apples! And by the look of the evidence on your face, it seems to me that you just got back from enjoying your treat and wanted me as a second serving, you, sick apple, you! The apple quickly wiped the scraps from his mouth hoping that I didn’t notice, but sadly for him I did. “Banana Splitter, you are under arrest for making a yummy dessert out of the bananas of Bananaville!” I stated. As I was putting handcuffs on the strange apple, I asked a question that I had been constantly thinking, “What makes you want to eat us?” The apple replied with, “Well you bananas are just so awesome in every single way! Who wouldn’t want to • eat you?” I agreed with him, we are bananalicous!

15. A POEM BY CARLY BODEN • MY LIFE STORY • I am yellow • I am soft • I am yummy and • Just so good in your tummy! • I don’t like to be eaten • But I was already beaten • Into a banana pie! • BY A BANANA

16. MEET THE BOARD • N’siah Becky Godfrey: • Favorite Breed of dog: Bichon • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Faod (accent on o) • Favorite thing about BK: SENIORS <333 • Best thing about summer: Sleeping and swimming • A summary of your view on high school: • S’ganit Maya Ben-Yosef: • Favorite Breed of dog: Toy poodle • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: L-a • Favorite thing about BK: Everyone in it • Best thing about summer: Summer programs and traveling! • A summary of your view on high school: Give up and become a hobo • MIT Mom Alexa Brenner: • Favorite Breed of dog: Cairn terrier bischon mix • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Alexa Brenner • Favorite thing about BK: Being silly and making fun memories! • Best thing about summer: Having camp Louis and being able to go to CLTC 7 • A summary of your view on high school: There are so many opportunities to branch out and make new friends and you have to take those chances! Also if you work hard you will be rewarded! HAVE FUN!

17. MEET THE BOARD continued • Sh’lichaMorgyn Alter: • Favorite Breed of dog: Golden retriever • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Cali • Favorite thing about BK: Poop • Best thing about summer: Summer programs! • A summary of your view on high school: It’s a joke • Katvanit Cali Saturn: • Favorite Breed of dog: Teacup Yorkie • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Cheeto • Favorite thing about BK: EVERYTHING • Best thing about summer: EVERYTHING • A summary of your view on high school: I think overall high school is important but I don’t really understand when I’m going to need the Pythagorean theorem or know what tribariumtetrahycolrate is in my life. • Gizborit Rosalie Freedman: • Favorite Breed of dog: Golden retriever • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Precious Candy Rice • Favorite thing about BK: The girls and laughing • Best thing about summer: Hanging out with friends and going on vacations and going to camp • A summary of your view on high school: It’s amazing I love my friends and playing my 2 favorite sports field hockey and lacrosse school is wonderful I meet new people and hang with my friends I branch out and try to be friends with everybody I have fun I make everyday worth going!!

18. MEET THE BOARD continued continued • Mazkirah Ally Wigutow: • Favorite Breed of dog: Chocolate lab • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Uma • Favorite thing about BK: The people in it and the friendships formed because of it • Best thing about summer: Not being at school • A summary of your view on high school: When you realize who your real friends are and realize who you want in your life. And in high school everything you do actually counts so it’s a chance for you to realize who you really are and who you wanna be. • MazkirahDayna Wallace: • Favorite Breed of dog: Havanese • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Shanayra • Favorite thing about BK: Everyone • Best thing about summer: Camp Louise • A summary of your view on high school: High school is a time to meet tons of friends and have tons of fun. Never take things too seriously and make great memories. • Sunshine Girl Danielle Koval: • Favorite Breed of dog: Wheaten terrier • Funniest name you’ve ever heard: Gertrude • Favorite thing about BK: Having a group of girls who accept you • Best thing about summer: Going to the beach • A summary of your view on high school: I just don’t care