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ENGL 1301. Writing with Style Using Sources. Style File: Wordiness. Writing style sets essays apart. Difference between an essay that just fulfills the assignment and one that goes beyond. Engages the readers more fully. Makes them interested in continuing to read.
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ENGL 1301 Writing with Style Using Sources
Style File: Wordiness • Writing style sets essays apart. • Difference between an essay that just fulfills the assignment and one that goes beyond. • Engages the readers more fully. Makes them interested in continuing to read. • Shows the author’s creativity. • Style Problem: Wordiness • What is wordiness? • The use of unnecessary words • Redundancies, repetitions • She was a student who studied anthropology at the university. • Meaningless or empty phrases • I am unable to answer your questions at this point in time. • Overly complicated structure of sentences (often due to passive voice or indirect wording) • I was involved in researching the efficacy of teacher training. • Overuse of dependent and other clauses (when they could be shortened to one or two modifiers) • In the essay that follows, I will argue against Immanuel Kant’s claim that we should not lie under any circumstances, which is, of course, a very problematic assertion.
Wordy, Wordy, Wordy • Since Janet herself had personally had the experience of the disease of cancer, she was then quite able to effectively relate on a personal level with other people who were at this time in their lives also dealing with the disease of cancer.
Concise • Because Janet personally experienced cancer, she could relate effectively to others dealing with the disease.
Wordy, Wordy, Wordy • The author, John Harold, who wrote the article “Drinking Our Childhood Away” which was published in 2008, has a quote in that article in which he speaks to the problem of the issue of alcoholism among the teenage segment of the population. In this quote author John Harold says, “The problem of alcoholism is great among teenagers.”
Concise • John Harold, author of “Drinking Our Childhoods Away” (2008) attests to the prevalence and problem of alcoholism among teenagers.
Wordy, Wordy, Wordy • With all due respect to the author of the article entitled “Every Child Left Behind,” an article published in 2009 in the very well-respected Journal of Curriculum and Instruction, I have to say that I, personally, do not believe that the apparent lack of federal funds has anything at all to do with the performance of state-run institutions of education.
Concise • With respect to the author of “Every Child Left Behind,” published in the prestigious Journal of Curriculum and Instruction (2009), I don’t believe that a lack of federal funding has influenced state-run schools.
Essay Planning • Plan your essay well. • Know what you want to discuss in each paragraph before you start writing. • Pick your quotes before you start writing. • The quotations and summaries you use from outside sources should support your argument or at least provide enough evidence for you to create a strong argument.
The importance of choosing good sources • Your essay is only as strong as your weakest source. • Using good sources affects the quality of your writing. • The same can be said for reading good writing. • If you want to write better, you must: • read good writing, • practice writing, • write often, • do things that will increase your vocabulary, writing abilities (spelling, grammar, etc.), and knowledge of the world around you.
Using Sources • There are a few guidelines to follow when writing an essay that requires sources: • Do not write an essay on your own and add sources later. • That strategy rarely works. Either the sources read as if they’ve been forced into the essay, or the sources read as if they’re unimportant to the overall goal of the essay. • When quoting, use the most important parts of the quote. Leave out the rest. • For essays of the length we’re writing in this course, the maximum length should be 2-3 lines of typed text.
A few more guidelines… • Know what needs to be quoted and what doesn’t. For example: • Words that are taken directly from another source MUST be cited (put in quotes and given a proper citation, including the name of the author and page number). • In their article, “History in the Spaces Left: African American Presence and Narratives of Composition Studies,” Jacqueline Jones Royster and Jean C. Williams look at the history of Composition Studies and the ways African Americans have and have not been present in its chronicling. Royster and Williams see the written history of Composition Studies as a complicated and often incomplete telling of the history of teaching writing and are concerned with the history of the discipline because, “History is important, not just in terms of who gets included and excluded, but also because history, by the very nature of its inscription as history, has social political, and cultural consequences” (563).
More guidelines… • Ideas that are directly from another source MUST be given proper citation. • Things that are considered “common knowledge” do not need to be cited. For example: • Abraham Lincoln was the sixteenth President of the United States and served during the Civil War (Adams 573). • Citation not needed. We should all know this. • A lot of people in the United States think the death penalty is okay (Jones 281). • Citation not needed. We assume this statement is true. You don’t need a source to tell you it’s true.
Using Sources • When using a source, pick out the most important, relevant information. • You do not have to use an entire sentence, if not all of it is necessary. • Be careful not to change the meaning of the source when you edit the content. • If you are quoting a source within your own sentence, make sure that the source is integrated into the sentence and makes sense within your sentence. • Example: There are many people who agree with the use of the death penalty; as an example, according to a Time magazine poll, “55% of the US population favor keeping the death penalty legal” (Jones 281). • Example: As much as “55% of the US population favor[s] keeping the death penalty legal,” according to a Time magazine poll (Jones 281). • Example: A slim majority (55%) of the US agrees believes in the death penalty, according to one Time magazine poll (Jones 281).
More about using sources… • Make a sandwich. A quotation sandwich. • Always introduce quotes. Always provide some reflection on quotes after they are used. Think of making a sandwich. Because quotations do not speak for themselves, you need to do that speaking for them by making a ‘quotation sandwich’ [Introduction-quotation-explanation]. • Never drop a quote and run. We call these “orphan quotes.” • Each quote must be properly introduced. • First use of source: author’s full name, article or book title • Each following use: author’s last name • Never use only the author’s first name. • Each quote needs proper reflection to follow. • What does the quote mean? • How is the quote significant to your argument?
Sample Attributive Tags • Choosing the Right Attributive Tag • Note! The first time you cite a source, use a complete attributive tag—author’s full name, title of article or book, etc. • There are lots of verbs that you can use in attributive tags, so choose one that works appropriately for your writing: Neutral tags: says, writes, claims, comments, notes, discusses • Tags to suggest that an idea may not be fully accepted: contends, suggests, asserts, believes, proposes, speculates • Tags that allow you to emphasize a source's key ideas: points out, emphasizes • Tags for adding information to an idea you're establishing: adds, agrees, confirms • Tags to introduce counter-arguments or alternate views: argues, disagrees, warns, contends, posits • Tags related to future actions/solutions: proposes, predicts, speculates
Orphan Quotes: Example • Many adults today believe that teenagers are uninterested in social activism. However, most adults fail to realize that activism is not dying; instead, it is merely taking new forms. "Sixty percent of the 28,692 fans of the ‘Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus' Facebook page were between the ages of 13 and 18" (Johnson 268). Many adults think social activism still requires sit-ins and protests, but today's teens are finding different ways to support and create change. Here is a revised version, with the quote properly integrated: • Many adults today believe that teenagers are uninterested in social activism. However, most adults fail to realize that activism is not dying; instead, it is merely taking new forms. Technology, especially, provides a way for teens to participate in meaningful social change. For example, Bret Johnson, director of SPPNTO (Society for the Preservation of the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus), points out that teens are huge supporters of current awareness campaigns; he notes that "sixty percent of the 28,692 fans of the ‘Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus' Facebook page [are] between the ages of 13 and 18" (268). Many adults think social activism still requires sit-ins and protests, but today's teens are finding different ways to support and create change.
Sample Quotation Sandwich • In her article “The Overmedicated Child,” Susan Jones argues that “around 75%” of children diagnosed as depressive have been “incorrectly and unethically diagnosed by doctors desiring a quick fix” (265). With that in mind, I think there does need to be further investigation into the use of such medications in children, but, more importantly, it seems that the investigation needs to center on the diagnostic practices of physicians.
Introductions • We often use “attributive tags” to introduce quotes. • Attributive tags are short phrases that help you indicate that an idea in your writing comes from somewhere else. In other words, you "tag" ideas and other evidence to show that they should be attributed to outside sources. Attributive tags have some key benefits: • They help you avoid being accused of plagiarism, since they ensure that you clearly indicate all paraphrased, summarized, and quoted material. • They help your reader understand when outside evidence starts and stops. • They help you establish the authority of your evidence, since they give you an opportunity to establish the credentials of your source.
“Says” is a good word. But, it’s not the only word. Verbs for Introducing Summaries and Quotations Verbs for Making a Claim: • Argue, Assert, Believe, Claim, Emphasize, Insist, Observe, Remind us, Report, Suggest, Posit Verbs for Expressing Agreement: • Acknowledge, Endorse Admire, Extol, Agree, Praise, Celebrate the fact that, Reaffirm, Corroborate, Support, Do not deny, Verify Verbs for Making Recommendations: • Argue, Assert, Believe, Claim, Emphasize,Insist, Observe, Remind us, Report, Suggest, Advocate, Call for, Demand, Encourage, Exhort, Implore, Plead, Posit, Recommend, Urge Verbs for Questioning or Disagreeing: • Complain, Complicate, Contend, Contradict, Deny, Deplore the tendency to, Question, Disavow, Refute, Repudiate, Renounce
What’s a transition? • A transition is a way to seamlessly move from one idea to the next. • Between paragraphs • Between sentences • Transitions work by finding the ideas that connect writing together. • Transitions move an essay from one section to the next. For example, transitions are needed to move from the Introduction to Paragraph One, from Paragraph One to Paragraph Two, and so on. • Transitions can be a sentence or as simple as a short phrase or one word. • For example: also, and, furthermore, additionally, in addition to, despite the previous argument that, etc.
What else is important about transitions? • According to the Purdue OWL: Good transitions can connect paragraphs and turn disconnected writing into a unified whole. Instead of treating paragraphs as separate ideas, transitions can help readers understand how paragraphs work together, reference one another, and build to a larger point. The key to producing good transitions is highlighting connections between corresponding paragraphs. By referencing in one paragraph the relevant material from previous ones, writers can develop important points for their readers. It is a good idea to continue one paragraph where another leaves off. (Instances where this is especially challenging may suggest that the paragraphs don't belong together at all.) Picking up key phrases from the previous paragraph and highlighting them in the next can create an obvious progression for readers. Many times, it only takes a few words to draw these connections. Instead of writing transitions that could connect any paragraph to any other paragraph, write a transition that could only connect one specific paragraph to another specific paragraph.
Variety of Transitions • There are four types of transitions: • Additive (show addition, introduction, similarity to other ideas ) • Adversative (used to signal conflict, contradiction concession, dismissal) • Causal (signal cause/effect and reason/result) • Sequential (used to signal a chronological or logical sequence)
Transition Examples • Example: Fearing for the loss of Danish lands, Christian IV signed the Treaty of Lubeck, effectively ending the Danish phase of the 30 Years War. The Swedish intervention began. • First Revision: Fearing for the loss of Danish lands, Christian IV signed the Treaty of Lubeck, effectively ending the Danish phase of the 30 Years War. But then something else significant happened. The Swedish intervention began. • Revision: Fearing for the loss of more Danish lands, Christian IV signed the Treaty of Lubeck, effectively ending the Danish phase of the 30 Years War. Shortly after Danish forces withdrew, the Swedish intervention began.
Transition Examples • Example: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list. Amy Tan participates in the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders with Stephen King and Dave Barry. • Revision: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list. In addition to her creative work as a novelist, Amy Tan also participates in the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders with Stephen King and Dave Barry. • Revision: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list. There are other things to note about Tan as well. Amy Tan also participates in the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders with Stephen King and Dave Barry. • Revision: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list. Though her fiction is well known, her work with the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders receives far less publicity.