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Lecture Eighteen Polishing. 词语润色. Main Contents of This Lecture. I. Definition II. Ways of Polishing. I. Definition. 词语润色( Polishing ) 润饰文字,英语叫 polish ,中文叫“琢磨”,是从制玉器时精细加工引申出来的意义。译文章,同制玉器一样,初具规模以后,还得精细加工,务求达意传神。这是翻译工作的最后一道工序,也是极重要的一个技巧。. II. Ways of Polishing. 润饰文字,可以从三个方面入手 i) 文理通顺(严谨)
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Main Contents of This Lecture • I. Definition • II. Ways of Polishing
I. Definition 词语润色(Polishing) • 润饰文字,英语叫 polish,中文叫“琢磨”,是从制玉器时精细加工引申出来的意义。译文章,同制玉器一样,初具规模以后,还得精细加工,务求达意传神。这是翻译工作的最后一道工序,也是极重要的一个技巧。
II. Ways of Polishing • 润饰文字,可以从三个方面入手 • i)文理通顺(严谨) • Ii). 句简词精(琢磨) • Iii).达意传神(创新)。
i). 文理通顺 讲究中文语法和逻辑的严谨,反复推敲,一丝不苟,尽力做到忠实通顺。 • 1.注意中文的语法 • 2.注意译文是否已确切表达出原文的实质内容 • 3.注意逻辑关系 • 4.遣词用字注意避免引起误解
1.注意中文的语法 • 简单地说,翻译是以英文句子为“蓝本”,照着英文意思和形式造中文句子,中英文语法不同,表现方式不同,英语句子往往又是冗长,复杂,或者是生疏的句型,因此很容易译出语病,往往照顾了一头,忽视了另一头。
They were then friendly to me and my opinion. • (对我……,也很支持……) • To feed, clothe, and rehabilitate one and a half million men—it was necessary, but agonizingly difficult. • (要给……提供……,并使……)
When the news reached him, perturbed more by the disgrace of his own troop than by the success of the enemy, he resorted to a new measure. • (与其说……不如说……)
2.注意译文是否已确切表达出原文的实质内容2.注意译文是否已确切表达出原文的实质内容 • In the end a telegram only fairly satisfactory from my point of view was dispatched. • (在我看来勉强还……)
Their language was almost restrained by any motives of prudence. • 他们几乎是口无遮拦(爱讲什么就讲什么),全然不考虑慎重不慎重的问题。
3.注意逻辑关系 • 原文的逻辑是清楚的,但翻译时句子经过改组或套用成语,有时会造成逻辑不通的文字。
High personages were implicated, and the long crisis that followed this discovery forced the resignation of the president and his government. • 此事牵涉到许多高级官员,事情败露以后出现的长期危机……
They have some home-made armored cars, and have quite rightly a nice conceit of themselves. • (合情合理的) • When you deal with a beast you have to treat him as a beast. • (以其道还治其身)
4.遣词用字注意避免引起误解 • It is said that Marco polo personally visited six Sumatran kingdoms. • (岛上的六个……) • No other man ever stooped to flatter her so much. • 任何人也没有像他一样对她那么曲意奉承。
In front of the house, there were maize fields stretching to the foot of the snow-capped range. • (……山脉的脚下)
ii).句简词精(流畅) 文章的体裁不同,对译文流畅的具体要求也应不同。若是翻译小说散文,流畅应含有文字雅致优美的意思;若是翻译诗歌,最好还要讲求抑扬顿挫,押韵合辙;翻译社会科学、自然科学文章,则要求明白晓畅。原作的笔调不同,我们对译文文字的要求也不能一概而论,原作活泼自如,译文拘板滞泥,则是没有尽到责任。原文平直无文,译文也很难做到活泼生动。不过,不管具体文章的体裁风格如何,对译文的一个起码要求应该是句简词精。
笔译一般都是用书面语,它不同于日常口头上用的大白话。书面文字总是要讲究一点,简练畅达,有点文采,符合汉语规范,读起来上口,听起来入耳,这就是我们所说的句简词精的意思。笔译一般都是用书面语,它不同于日常口头上用的大白话。书面文字总是要讲究一点,简练畅达,有点文采,符合汉语规范,读起来上口,听起来入耳,这就是我们所说的句简词精的意思。 • 要做到这一点,应该注意翻译文字上的三忌:噜苏话、学生腔、洋腔洋调。
1.忌罗嗦话 • I surprised the company by refusing to drink the dark red beverage poured out of a fat-bellied bottle neatly dressed in a tight-fitting straw jacket. • (我……,使……。这种饮料是从……)
We must be skillful to determine which difficulties will resolve themselves and which spread their rot when shoved under the rug. (自行消失……越捂越糟)
2.忌学生腔 • 用词造句生硬、呆板、不自然、套用固定程式,千篇一律,千句一型。 • It is a small, old-fashioned but important port. • (一个老式的小港,但很重要)
This was an added embarrassment. • (又是一件难堪事) • Mr Roosevelt invited me to join him at dinner in his villa. “Let us make it a family affair,” he said. • (家常便饭)
The telephone announced that the Ambassador must see me at once and was on his way. He arrived with unusual perturbation. • (他来时,神色……)
3.忌洋腔洋调 • 舍弃合适而流畅的中文不用,而硬要仿照英文格式翻译出既不符合汉语规范、又不适合中国人习惯的译文。
We were told that the new leader was going to speak to us. • He was so arrogant that no one will keep company with him。 • 他很狂妄自大,谁也不愿与他交往。
为了使译文做到句简词精,可以从三个方面着手:为了使译文做到句简词精,可以从三个方面着手: • 适当运用词组; • 讲究中文的对仗; • 注意译文音调的和谐。
词组: • But there is a great difference between the two gardens: the one is conventional in every respect, the other natural. • (未能脱俗……野趣天成) • I felt anxious about the effect of this prolonged and acrimonious discussion. • (旷日持久、用语刻薄的……)
He is a jovial giant, with a huge appetite for food, drink and women. • 他生性乐观,身材魁梧,贪吃贪喝又贪色。
He was mature in years and tried in wars, but had the old, inbred arrogance of his family. • 他正当年壮,久经沙场,但是却带有他的家族那种年深日久、代代相传的傲慢习气。
The second world war bought him rapid battle promotion, but only to a temporary rank in the lowest grade of general officer. • ……屡建战功,晋升很快,但不过是被授予将级军官中最低一级的军衔,且为时不长。
It was a punishing job, with an awe-inspiring daily dosage of reading. • ……苦差使,每天阅读量之大,使人望而生畏。
对仗: • His assets were learning, memory and a mastery of language;his ungainly figure and his stiffness of gesture were disadvantages. • 博闻强记,长于辞令,是他的优点;而体形不雅,姿势呆板,则是他的短处。
音调: • war and peace • Hrs trip to the United States in April almost produced no positive results. • (积极结果?) • Mr Jarden was playing for high stakes, but so was Mr Marcus. • (赌注很大……也不小)
iii).达意传神(创新) • “艺高人胆大”,语言功底坚实,敢于运用生动活泼的语言,不要只是制造一些“粗坯”。
The facts are more prosaic than the legend. He was in no sense an innovator. • (不如…神乎其神) • Despite the great age gap between them, an instant affinity asserted itself. • (…志趣相投,一见如故)
翻译的难处通常并不在句子的冗长繁复,而在一些关键词上。对于这些关键词,可分别采取下列方法:翻译的难处通常并不在句子的冗长繁复,而在一些关键词上。对于这些关键词,可分别采取下列方法: • 1.顺词就意, • 2.略添枝叶, • 3.易起炉灶。
1.顺词就意: • Disillusion, however, was immediate and brutal. The politicians showed that behind their patriotic phrases their only true preoccupations were with their own political fortunes or those of their parties. • 然而,接着便是…,政客们满口爱国爱国,但在这些词令背后…
He was agreeably surprised. …… • 又惊又喜 • Their relations were vinegar, although Mr. A when speaking of Mr .B in his absence was acidly correct. • 关系很别扭, 虽然……在背后谈起B先生时语中带刺但还不失分寸。
The General’s ego was of suitably gigantic proportions. • 将军心中的“我”字还很大/自我意识… • Sometimes he was extravagant to downright nonsense, but with someone the glittering dross passed current for pure gold. …… • 信口雌黄…漂亮空话…金玉良言
2.添枝加叶(使意义完整,易于理解) • In his eyes, this amounted to self-defeating appeasement. • ……无异于姑息养奸,自寻失败。 • It was an uphill work. • ……如同爬山,非常吃力。
He did not begin to feel at home until he separated from his wife. • ……如鱼得水,自由自在。
3.另起炉灶 • His sufferance of fools was short lived. …… • 对于蠢人蠢事是容忍不下去的。 • His reputation and achievements outlive him. • 他虽然去世了,他的……
In the years I worked in that department I never knew anything but the best and most disinterested service. • ……只知道克已奉公,尽力而为。