Living with Disability effects on children and Teen agers

Living with Disabilityeffects on children and Teen agers Dr. RamezBedwani

Millions of people around the world suffer handicaps that disfigures تشوه صورتهم there appearance or impairs their ability تعوق حركتهم to perform daily activities Most disabilities occur at delivery, or due to illness or accidents . Handicaps include : paralysis, inability to move, chronic arthritis, blindness , deafness and facial disfigurement .

As children reach teen aging and become young adults, they focus on their identity: Self searchالبحث عن الهوية, meaning of lifeمعنى الحياة , “who am I” انا مين ,” where is my place in the world فين مكانى و دورى فى الحياة??”

Reasonsincreasingpsychological impact of disability in teen agers and young adults* • Social pressures الضغوط الإجتماعية • Search for identity البحث عن الهوية • People putting Unrealistic expectations on the handicapped توقعات غير واقعية • Peer reactions ردود فعل الأقران

I. Social pressures* • Modern society gives too much value for appearance and looksالمظهر, physical fitness اللياقة البدنيةand beauty الجمالand depreciates يقلل من قيمة those who are not having the “Hollywood figure” (white teethالأسنان البيضاء, styled hairالشعر المصفف, perfect outfit الممتاز الهندام.!!) • Beautyالجمال, intelligence الذكاءand money المالare given a high value قيمة عاليةby society , when young disabled people recognize they lack ينقصهمone or all they fall يقعواinto despair يأس

ll. Search for identityالبحث عن الهوية • Teen agers focus on Importance أهميةof appearance المظهرand abilities القدرات • How do I look = what can I do = who am I • Tendency to Compare oneself (المقارنة)with normal people around them • + Inability to judge fairly عدم القدرة على الحكم على الأمور, reaches a false conclusion إستنتاج خاطئthat distorts real identityيشوه الشخصية الحقيقية, • so who am I = I am handicapped = I am strange = (غريب)I am uglyأنا دميم

lll. unrealistic expectation توقعات غير واقعية • People with good intentionsالنوايا الطيبة put unrealistic expectations on handicapped patients • Parents suffer for their handicapped child sufferance his pain and frustration, they may be impatient يفرغ صبرهمdue to long term treatment and may become bitter المرارةfor loosing their hopes آمالهمand dreams أحلامهمabout their child • They will overloadيحملوه أعباء ثقيلة their child by asking for doing a “greater effort” and not to allow his disability to “put him down” لا تحبط

lV. Peer reactions ردود فعل الأقران • Peers may be going through identity search too, may be subject to stressful competition • Peers approval is essential and important • But instead , a disabled teen ager may become a victim of hatred, sarcasm, silent rejection, arrogance تكبر or pityشفقة that may cause him more psychological damage

Consequences عواقب of not overcomingعدم التغلب the effects of disability in teen agers cause problems in* : • Self Recognition (recognizing oneself)التعرف على الذات • Swinging opinion التأرجحbetween extremes, from “I am ugly and useless “ to extreme of denial إنكار “ I can do anything I want”أقدر على عمل أى شئ انا عايزه • Correct position is not denying إنكارdisability , and not focusing التركيز عليها on it , accepting it تقبلهاand understanding its unimportanceعدم أهميتها in relation to the question of “who I am”

Self respectإحترام الذات • Not Facing annoyance مضايقة and mockery سخرية و إستهزاء destroys self respect • If Disabled people regard criticism الإنتقادand mockery shown by peers as a reflectionإنعكاس to their self worth قيمته الذاتية كفرد (leads تؤدى to unhealthy self estimationتقدير غير صحى للذات )

Negative thoughts الأفكاكرand emotionsالمشاعر may : • respond with anger • look at life الحياةand relationshipsالعلاقات with disrespect إزدراء • becomes prepared to attackهجومى at slight criticismأدنى إنتقاد • respond with despair باليأس, become isolatedيميل للعزلة, cuts relationshipsيقطع علاقته بالآخرين, becomes depressedيكتئب and loses hope يفقد الأمل in a “normal” life

How to help psychologically teenagers suffering from impact of disability ( listen /empathy/ affirm/ Guidance sharing/ responsibility) • Listen patiently to him/her : الإصغاء • Allow them to express thoughts and feelings, questions like : how do you feel حاسس بإيه ناحية ده?, how does it affect you إيه تأثير ده عليك ?...how can i help ( don’t adviseلا تنصح )

Empathyالمواجدة ( put yourself in his place and look at his condition from his point of view) can be reached by: • Remove obstacles when talking إزالة الحواجز المادية • Head noddingالإيماء بالرأس • Leaning forwardالميل للأمام • Speaking with calm tone of voice الكلام بهدؤ و ود • Guiding him to talk calmly تهدئة نبرته • Repeating some of his words تكرار الكلمات يؤكد على تركيزك معه • Waiting patiently during silence or crying الإنتظار بصبر

Affirm أكد • accepting قبولكhim/her as they are • Make them feel special مميز • help them not compare their beauty, physical ability, intelligence and personalities with others • they shouldn’t imitateلا يقلد الآخرين some one else to gain worthليحصل على قيمة مضافة لنفسه to oneself, they have to discover their unique abilities and gifts قدرات و مواهب فريدة • appreciate what they are and doتقديرهم لذواتهم و ما يفعلونه

كل ما تقييم الذات يبقى أكثر نضوجاً • يؤدى الى قبول الذات أكثر • يؤدى الى الثقة بالنفس أكثر (يستثمر الإيجابيات و يعرف يستفيد من الغلطة أ/ و/ ت، مش يندم) • يؤدى لرفع الروح المعنوية أكثر • و يؤدى لشعورى بقيمة الذات أكثر • و تقدير وإحترام الذات و الآخرين أكثر (إحترام متوازن) • زيادة الإنجاز و الإلتزام Self appraisal > Self acceptance >to self confidence and raised self esteem (positive self regard to self others and life ) > self worth leads to self respect and appreciation > achievement(self actualization)

Guidanceإرشاد • Finding happiness in other things than being perfect (as hobbies, music, collections) • learning to love and accept oneself تعلم حب و قبول النفس كما هى و بالرغم من كل الأمورas you are, any way • Developing inner beauty تطوير الجمال الداخلىas kindnessاللطف , communicationالتواصل, honesty الصدق و الأمانة, patienceالصبر..etc

Sharing responsibilityالمشاركة فى المسئولية : allow them to feel responsible for their problems, feelings , disappointmentsخيبات أملهم, rewardsمكافأت , solutions حلول

Living with Disability effects on children and Teen agers