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Individuality in Twins & Multiples. Dr Carol Cooper IMBA 2010 www.drcarolcooper.com. How to get there?. No multiples are truly identical. Not even if MZ DNA Genes not always switched on Blood flow Other pre-birth factors Irises & fingerprints. Why individuality matters.
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Individuality in Twins & Multiples Dr Carol Cooper IMBA 2010 www.drcarolcooper.com 1
No multiples are truly identical Not even if MZ • DNA • Genes not always switched on • Blood flow • Other pre-birth factors • Irises & fingerprints. 3
Why individuality matters • Social skills • Language development • Healthy competition • Behaviour • School performance • Rewards of parenting • Adolescence • Adulthood. 4
What we’re up against • Humans designed to have one baby at a time • Twins & more are cute • People are fascinated • Popular expectations • The “twins-switch”. 5
Start before the birth • Prepare the family • Get your priorities sorted • Choose names carefully • Clothes, etc. 6
“My twin and I got mixed up in the bath-tub when we were two weeks old and one of us was drowned, but we didn’t know which. Some think it was Bill and some think it was me. One of us had a peculiar mark – a large hole on the back of his left hand, but that was me. That was the one that was drowned”. Is this really ‘William S. Clemens’? 7
After they arrive • Telling them apart • Try not to label • Try not to lump • Use their names • Make eye contact • Speak to each baby individually • Using the other senses, eg touch. 8
As they grow up • Address separately and give attention • Eye contact • Reading to each child • Own clothes • Own space • Own toys • Own birthday cards/presents. 9
It’s not available in stores • Need for independence • Exploring • Creative play • Feeding themselves • Dressing themselves • Other tasks; “being big” • Chances to be alone. 11
“Why, Mummy?” • Try not to address one child all the time (or first) • Be patient! • Repeat as necessary. 12
Life is unfair • Clothes • Toys • Gifts • Friends • School • Growth and health 13
What about the rest of the world? • Other influences on your child • Grandparents/rest of family • Nursery/preschool • Teachers • Friends • Outside activities. 14
Some resources • Twins & Multiple Births – the essential parenting guide (Carol Cooper) • Emotionally Healthy Twins – a new philosophy for parenting two unique children (Joan A Freidman) • Parenting School-age Twins & Multiples (Christina Baglivi Tinglof) • www.twinsandmultiples.org Covers school-years. 16