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STOP SUFFERING AND START LIVING. By Greg Smith, PhD www.gregsmith.co.za. Suffering is… “The state of undergoing pain, distress or hardship” Oxford Dictionary.
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STOP SUFFERING AND START LIVING By Greg Smith, PhD www.gregsmith.co.za
Suffering is… “The state of undergoing pain, distress or hardship” Oxford Dictionary
“When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool.” Prof. Chinua Achebe
“Jesus wept” John 11:35, Bible “It was only through suffering that the children of Israel obtained three priceless and coveted gifts…” Talmud “Sometimes pain teaches what pleasure cannot” Quran “Life is suffering” Prince Gautama Siddharta, Founder of Buddhism
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” Kahlil Gibran
D = s - m Despair = Suffering without meaning
So… • Life IS suffering • Life is impermanent • We create MORE suffering by trying to avoid suffering • We avoid suffering through cravings or aversion • We CAN overcome this…
eMoTiOnS ThOuGhTs
do NOT think of your kitchens at home!
eXpErIeNcEs eMoTiOnS BEACH BALL ThOuGhTs
STRESS / SUFFERING CONSISTS OF… • The stressor, i.e., the changes or demands • How this stressor is perceived (not the event!) • The actual stress response in the body or mind
ABC THEORY ACTIVATING EVENT BELIEF CONSEQUENCES A + B = C DISPUTE NEW OUTCOME D
“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are” Anais Nin
Survive vs Thrive • Negative emotions (fear, anger, despair) help us SURVIVE • Positive emotions (curiosity, delight, interest, joy, etc) let us THRIVE
THE SWAMP
SHIPWRECKED METAPHOR
Recontextualising the Problem What I want my life to stand for Depressed Unmotivated Unemployed Indecisive Overweight Unloveable Need therapy! Depressed Unmotivated Unemployed Indecisive Overweight Unloveable Need therapy! The life I’m left with
“I think that...” “I’m having the thought that...” “I notice I’m having the thought that...” This is unbearable I notice those thoughts are there again
HELPFUL ATTITUDES • Non-judging • Patience • Beginners Mind • Trust • Non-striving • Acceptance • Letting go
5 SENSES WORLD BODY I / YOU MIND Suffering
5 SENSES ? NOW / PRESENT Intimate Rels Temper Family Rels Alcohol Social Rels Smoking Leisure Health Drugs AWAY TOWARDS I / ME SUFFERING BEHAVIOUR VALUES Withdrawal Career Shouting Spirituality PAST FUTURE MIND DEPRESSION ANXIETY AUTOPILOT