Thomas Gordon Inner Self-Control

1. Thomas GordonInner Self-Control Whitney Whitehair Allison Moore October 14, 2009 EDUC 360

2. Thomas Gordon

3. About Thomas… • Clinical psychologist • Head of the Gordon Training International • Largest human relations training organization in the world • www.gordontraining.com • Two million people have used his training program • Wrote a number of books • Received the American Psychological Foundation’s Gold Metal Award for Enduring Contributions to Psychology in the Public Interest

4. Gordon’s Plan for Discipline • There are six major elements: • Influence Rather than Control • Preventative Skills • Discipline and Who Owns the Problem • Confrontive Skills • Helping Skills • No-Lose Conflict Resolution

5. Influence Rather than Control • Control  students coping mechanisms • Fighting (combating the person with whom they have the conflict) • Taking flight (trying to escape the situation) • Submitting (giving into the other person) • Cut off communication and willingness to cooperate

7. Preventative Skills • Three things to prevent problems: • Use I-Messages • These influence students’ future actions. • Set rules together with students • Setting rules together with students allows time for discussion and working together to collaborate an effective means. • Use participative management • Sharing power with students with different types of assessment, rules, preferred activities, etc. This motivates students and gives them confidence.

9. Discipline and Who Owns the Problem • Gordon explains that misbehavior is behavior that • “..produces undesirable consequences for the adult”(p. 81). • When the class is uncontrolled, the teacher is said to own the problem. But at times, the student may own the problem. • With confrontive skills and helping skills, this will solve the problem and who owns it.

11. Confrontive Skills • When the teacher owns the problem, one of these discipline steps should be taken: • Modifying the physical environment (rather than the student)  Provide music or minimize distractions • Sending I-Messages regularly  Instead of scolding, work on I-Messages throughout the day to keep them constant with everyday teaching • Shifting gears  If this does not work, listen to the student’s side of the story and continue with another I-Message (show sensitivity!)

13. Helping Skills • When students own the problem, teachers use two main helping skills • Listening and avoiding communication roadblocks • Four kinds of listening • Passive Listening  little more than attentive silence, but is enough to encourage students to talk. • Acknowledgment responses  verbal and nonverbal cues that demonstrate teacher’s interest. • Door opens  invitation for students to discuss their problems. • Active Listening  Mirroring back what students say.

14. Helping Skills Continued… • Avoiding communication roadblocks • Examples: giving orders, warning, preaching, advising, lecturing, criticizing, name calling, analyzing, praising, reassuring, questioning, withdrawing. Turn your book to pages 82-83

16. No-Lose Conflict Resolution • Reach agreements and find a solution that satisfies both parties • Egos are preserved and relations remain undamaged • Ex. “I wonder what we might do so you boys won’t feel like fighting anymore.” • Prevents either boy from feeling that he has “lost” the dispute.

18. What Every Teacher Should Know How teachers can bring out the best in their students!

19. References • http://www.etia.org/uploadedImages/gordon.jpg