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Who is teaching our kids about love and sex?

Who is teaching our kids about love and sex? . Parenting and Sexuality. Margaret Iossi, MPS. WELCOME ~ Thank you. Name Parish, Deanery or School Ministry Role. Who am I?. How do we learn?. How do we learn?. Media & Culture.

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Who is teaching our kids about love and sex?

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  1. Who is teaching our kids about love and sex? Parenting and Sexuality Margaret Iossi, MPS

  2. WELCOME ~ Thank you • Name • Parish, Deanery or School • Ministry Role Who am I?

  3. How do we learn?

  4. How do we learn? Media & Culture

  5. Media Use Over TimeAmong all 8- to 18-year-olds, average amount of time Time spent with each medium in a typical day: 2009 2004 1999 TV content 4:29 3:51 3:47 Music/audio 2:31 1:44 1:48 Computer 1:29 1:02 :27 Video games 1:13 :49 :26 Print :38 :43 :43 Movies :25 :25 :18 Total media exposure 10:45 8:33 7:29 Multitasking proportion 29% 26% 16% TOTAL MEDIA USE 7:38 6:21 6:19 Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8 to 18 year olds, Kaiser Family Foundation, January, 2010

  6. Mobile Media • From 2004 to 2009, the number of 8-18 yr olds who own their own cell phone increased from 39% to 66%. • 7-12th graders spend 1 ½ hr daily texting (not inc in the total time for media use) • iPods and other MP3 players – 18% to 76% • Average computer use is 1 ½ hr outside of school use. • Internet access at home has expanded from 74% of households to 84%. Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8 to 18 year olds, Kaiser Family Foundation, January, 2010 Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year Olds Kaiser Family Foundation ~ January 2010

  7. Cultural “Story” of Sexuality • Physical • Casual • Superficial • No commitments • No consequences • Necessary • “Everybody’s doing it”

  8. The Current Reality • While friends and media are often rated as the primary sources of information about sex, parental attitudes about sex are rated by young people as having more influence on them. • Parents are not communicating with their children to the degree that their children would like.

  9. So what can we do?

  10. Be attentive and respectful • Child as a child of God • Responding appropriately • Help them to understand sexuality as created by God

  11. Know what you really believe and why • Reflect, in advance, about what you already believe. • Think about how you learned about sexuality. • Consider how you will communicate that genital expression belongs in marriage.

  12. Take time to talk • Make it a priority to talk when they are interested. • If you are in a public place, promise to talk later. • If you are not sure how to answer, tell them you need time to think about their question and then respond at the earliest available opportunity.

  13. Get to know their world • Pay attention to their world. • Take an interest in what they enjoy. • Engage them in conversation about the media they enjoy.

  14. Listen for the real question • Pay attention to the ‘test the water’ question. • Be patient –talking about relationships and sexuality is ‘new territory’ for your child. • Leave ‘space’ for their questions—you will learn more.

  15. Set reasonable limits • Decide on appropriate limits and boundaries. • Help them to understand that your primary concern is their safety and well-being. • Help them to recognize that boundaries are important because they are valuable and precious to you and to God.

  16. Talk about risky behaviors • Talk about the consequences. • Discuss STDs, pregnancy, broken hearts, loss of sense of self, etc. • Understand that risk taking behaviors are associated.

  17. Connect sexuality and spirituality • Grow in your own understanding of the deep connections between spirituality and sexuality. • Help your children understand sexuality as a gift of God that, lived appropriately, helps us to connect to others and to love. • Help them to understand that what they do with their bodies affects all of who they are.

  18. Tell stories • Tell stories to communicate values. • Change details, if the story is ‘too close to home’.

  19. As a parent . . . . • You do have the power to influence what you child understands, believes, and values about sexuality. • Connectedness to you is a protective factor for your child. • They may not always understand—or even like you—during adolescence, but you are the parent. • Pray always for wisdom and guidance to parent well.

  20. Remember . . . That you have already taught your child many things about themselves, about their bodies, about relationships through the very person you are and how you have loved them. As you deepen your sense of sexuality as a good gift of God, with the potential to bless and bring life, you will increasingly find the ways to communicate with your child.

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