Bullying What It Is and What To Do About It

1. KIDS Jen Wood jenwood@kidsroe.org June 2012 BullyingWhat It Is and What To Do About It

2. Define Bullying… Repeated – over and over Intentional – intended to cause fear and harm Power-based – unable to defend self

3. Rosalind Wiseman-Bullying vs. Drama • Bullying is using power or strength to make someone feel worthless. Usually defined as being one way and repeated. • Drama is an exciting, unexpected emotional series of events. Always defined as a conflict where both people are actively involved and not serious or hurtful.

4. http://www.stopbullying.gov/ Did you know? 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.

5. Illinois Law • Bullying/Harassment105 ILCS 5/27-23.7 (2010) defines bullying and prohibits it in the school environment on the basis of actual or perceived race, color, religion, sex, national origin, ancestry age, marital status, physical or mental disability, military status, sexual orientation, gender-related identity or expression, unfavorable discharge from military service, association with a person or group with one or more of the aforementioned actual or perceived characteristics, or any other distinguishing characteristic. No student shall be subject to bullying during any school-sponsored education program or activity, while in school, on school property, on school buses or other school vehicles, at designated school bus stops waiting for the bus, at schools-sponsored or school-sanctioned events or activities, or through the transmission of information from a school computer, school computer network or other similar electronic school equipment. Bullying make take various forms, including without limitation one or more of the following: harassment, threats, intimidation, stalking, physical violence, sexual harassment, sexual violence, theft, public humiliation, destruction of property, or retaliation for asserting or alleging an act of bullying. 

6. Illinois Law cont’d… • 105 ILCS 5/27-23.7 (2010) requires each school district and non-public, non-sectarian elementary or secondary school to create and maintain a policy on bullying. The policy must be communicated to the students and their parent or guardian annually, updated every 2 years and filed with the State Board of Education. The statute also creates the School Bullying Prevention Task Force and outlines its responsibilities.105 ILCS 5/10-20.14 (2002) requires the school board, with the parent-teacher advisory committee and community based organizations, to include provisions in the student discipline policy to address students who have demonstrated behaviors that put them at risk for aggressive behavior, including without limitation bullying.

7. 49 of 50 states have bullying laws in place 1 of those 49 provides funding to support the law they have

8. 3 Major Types of Bullying • Gossiping “Did you hear…” • Name calling “You are so….” • Exclusion “You can’t sit here…”

9. Words hurt…

10. True or False…?

11. Bullies are usually insecure and have low self-esteem. • Bullies are typically popular and have a high self-esteem. • They feel entitled to their behavior.

12. Effects of bullying are short term & minor. • Research says that 50% of people bullied aren’t effected it by the event(s) later • The other 50% of people bullied say they never forget it, ever & it stays with them

14. Bullies usually outgrow their bullying behavior. • 60% of bullies, in grades 6-9, have been convicted of one registered crime by age 24. • Bullying is a learned behavior, it’s what they see somewhere in their own environment.

15. Bullying Facts • Most bullying is NOT physical but is mean names, exclusion, and gossip, rumor, lies. • More bullying is done by boys, but girl bullying is increasing. • Bullying is more likely during school hours than on the way to and from school. • Bullying involves imbalance of power. It is a form of victimization and not about conflict. • Adults are often unaware of bullying problems and the extent to which bullying occurs in schools.

16. It’s obvious when a student is being bullied. • The victim’s facial expressions generally display an “it’s ok” attitude. • Bullies are smart about where & when to bully • happens often in out of the way places; restrooms • blind spots in the hallways • coming & going to school when there isn’t supervision • Bus, when a driver is concentrating on the driving

18. Change can happen with bystanders. • Address bystander behavior and you can decrease the bullying behaviors. • Create the culture to stop the bullying when you see it. • Talk about safety, when to step in

19. Biggest influence of change…the bystander • If I see it, what will I do?

20. Wage peace… • Conduct a climate survey • Adult supervision is increased in hot spots • Set school-wide expectations and enforce • Adults intervene when they observe any instance of bullying • Be proactive and talk about it • Empower bystanders to step up to do the right thing • Set classroom rules/expectations: • Respect other physically & emotionally • Include others in groups • Help others being bullied

21. Rosalind Wiseman-Culture / Climate • Culture: is the unwritten rules, shared ideas, assumptions, values and beliefs that give an organization its identity. • Climate: is the quality and character of school life based on patterns of students, parents and school personnel‘s experience of school life and reflects the norms, goals, values, teaching and learning practices.

22. When a child feels they’ve been a target- you don’t: • Say- bullies are insecure, jealous or weak • Ignore it, walk away • Say- I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it • That’s just the way the they are/boys are/etc. • You’ll be stronger for the experience • Say to hit them back

23. Don’t… Ask kids to work it out! Apologize SORRY.

24. Victim Strategies - DO • Spend time with student to learn about the situation. Get the facts: who, what, when, where, and how to assess the student’s reaction to bullying. • To help the student feel less powerless, ask the student what he or she needs to feel safe at school. • Let other staff know so they can provide support and assistance. • Follow-up to let the student know you are a resource. • Have student keep an Instance Log. • Follow-up with administration and parents.

25. When a child feels they’ve been a target- you do: • Say you are sorry it happened • Thank you for telling me • Together we’re going to work on this • If we need to bring someone else in, we will decide together and I’ll go with you if you want

26. On the spot interventions…http://www.wagepeacetoday.com/ • Intervene immediately – stand between the bully and the victim. • Label the action as bullying behavior and refer to the rules that were violated and the consequence. • Support the victim-reassure him/her that bullying behavior will not be tolerated. Have victim share information and log the incident. • Confront the perpetrator(s) and give immediate sanctions for the behavior. Consequences need to be predetermined.

27. Interventions: http://www.stopbullying.gov/educators/index.html • Intervene immediately. Separate the students involved. Do not immediately ask about or discuss the reason for the bullying or try to sort out the facts. • Request more information.  Get the facts. Speak to students involved (participants and observers) in the incident separately and ask what happened. • Tell the students you are aware of their behavior. Talk to the students involved separately. • Make it a teachable experience.  Helping bystanders understand what has happened and why may be important for preventing future incidents.

28. Interventions, con’t… • Address bystanders and provide guidance on how to intervene. • Inform the parents as quickly as possible – a call home the same day is preferable, followed by an appointment at school for the parents, if necessary. The parents and school officials should be involved in designing a creative plan of action. Do not bring conflicting parties together.

30. Effective bullying prevention efforts focus mainly on: • Setting and enforcing behavior standards that lead to feelings of safety for all • Building positive staff-student relationships • Supporting targets of bullying • Helping bullying youth find other ways to meet their needs • Empowering peer bystanders to act.

31. CommunicatingwithParents Before • Gather information about incidents • Generate ideas for intervention plans that address bullying • Focus on the issues • Remain calm and do not become defensive • Emphasize common goals • Express a desire to work with parents • Bullying behaviors often come from seeing it elsewhere. Do not attack or blame parents. During

32. Communicating with Parents, con’t • State facts without making commentary • Listen respectfully • Develop intervention plans that involve parents • Encourage parents to have discussions with their child at home • Emphasize the importance of the home-school partnership • Clearly describe what action each party will take • End with positive comments • Engage in on-going communication and follow-up After

33. Bullying Resources: www.wagepeacetoday.com www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov www.stopbullyingworld.com Bullying Prevention Handbook: A guide for Principals, Teachers, and Counselors. John Hoover and Ronald Oliver. Bloomington, IN: National Educational Service.

34. Preferred Resources: • Dr. Michael Carpenterhttp://www.wagepeacetoday.com/ • Dorothy Espelagehttp://www.espelageagainstbullying.com/ • Rosalind Wisemanhttp://rosalindwiseman.com/

35. Bullying Public Service Announcements • A great example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gliHyklHr6c&feature=player_embedded

36. http://www.thewaytohappiness.org/#/precepts/videos/hi/treat-others-like-you-want-them-to-treat-youhttp://www.thewaytohappiness.org/#/precepts/videos/hi/treat-others-like-you-want-them-to-treat-you What we hope for our community…