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Funny quotes from funny people

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Funny quotes from funny people

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  1. Funny quotes from funny people

  2. Enjoy a laugh with these quotes curated by the Viewhall review team from some of the funniest comics around. “When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” — Norm Crosby “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas A. Edison “I hate women because they always know where things are.” — Voltaire “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” — Walter Bagehot “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” — George Carlin “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.” — Walter Matthau “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." — Will Rogers “We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.” — Rodney Dangerfield "Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice." “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Matt Groening

  3. “The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” — Paul Fix “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” — Will Rogers “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” — David Letterman “I don’t think I’ve seen anyone laughing on the way to a bank.” — Ric Ducommon “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?” — Jay Leno "A diamond is simply a lump of coal that did well under pressure." “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” — Erma Bombeck "I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide." For plenty more great humour, head over to Viewhall and enjoy a good laugh!

  4. Thank You -: Contact Us :- Website :- https://viewhall.com/home/ Call :- 1-888-973-7119

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