Why talk about Bullying ?

2. Why talk about Bullying? • It is constantly in the news. • You signed a document regarding the FISD Bullying Policy. • I know it happens at Sparks. • To help expand everyone’s knowledge on bullying…what it is and what you can do. • To make a difference.

3. What is Bullying? • Defined - when a person is exposed repeatedly, and over time, to the negative actions of one, or more persons • Bullying is the intimidation of a person that is weaker, or more vulnerable • There’s usually an intent to harm • It’s an imbalance of power (physical/social)

4. Is bullying more prevalent today? Bullying is one of the oldest and most traumatic aspects of childhood. Can you think of a time that you were bullied? I can!

5. What Bullying is and isn’t “Bullying is not about anger. It’s not even about conflict. It’s about contempt – a powerful feeling of dislike for someone considered to be worthless, inferior, or undeserving of respect” “This contempt carries with it a sense of entitlement, intolerance toward differences and a liberty to exclude which allows kids to harm another human without feeling guilt, shame, empathy or compassion” “Bullying is arrogance in action” Source: Barbara Coloroso

6. THREE ROLES OF A BULLY SITUATION ARE: 1. BULLY BEHAVIOR 2. TARGET/VICTIM 3. BYSTANDER

7. What Bullying is Not? • Mutual conflict between friends… a disagreement • When students tease each other in a playful/friendly way • When two students of about equal strength, or power (physical/social) fight, or argue • Single episode acts of nastiness, or meanness, or random acts of aggression, or intimidation

8. Are these bullying behaviors? • Staring or giving mean looks to someone • Telling someone not to be friends with someone else because they aren’t cool • Saying mean things about someone or their family • Saying someone has germs or is dirty • Leaving others out/ignoring on purpose • Tell someone they can’t sit at your table • Calling someone names

9. The answer is… • YES, these are all bullying behaviors if they occur over and over again. • If ONE of these behaviors happens only ONE time, it probably isn’t bullying. Just pay attention to how often the behavior occurs.

10. Four Categories of Bullying • Physical – Harming someone’s body or possessions. • Emotional – Harming someone’s self worth by verbal and nonverbal communication • Social – Harming another person’s group acceptance • Electronic – Harming someone through the use of electronic means… texting, Facebook, MYSPACE, Chat Rooms, etc.

11. Frisco ISD Policy on Bullying

12. Frisco ISD Elementary Bullying/Harassment/Hazing Rules and Consequences Bullying/Harassment/Hazing are prohibited in any form on school property, in a school vehicle, or at a school-sponsored event. Students who have bullied/harassed/hazed others are in violation of school policy and may be subjected to disciplinary action, up to and including suspension and expulsion. Bullying is when a student or group of students engages in any gesture or written, verbal, or physical or computerized or other electronically transmitted act, or threat that: 1) Will have the effect of physically harming a student, damaging a students property or reputation, or placing a student in reasonable fear of harm; or 2) Is sufficiently severe, persistent, or pervasive that the action or threat creates an intimidating, threatening, or abusive educational environment for a student. Bullying is divided into four broad categories: Consequences for Violation of School Bullying/Harassment/Hazing Rules (Elementary) Level 1 Consequence Minimum:Verbal Reprimandand warning of future consequences The third level 1 classroom offense will result in a level 2 consequence and a referral to the Assistant Principal for discipline and the Counselor for counseling. All future level 1 violations will result in level 2, or above consequences. Level 2 Consequences Minimun:Detention, and/or removal from some privilege, referred to the Assistant Principal and Counselor, name given to Bully Prevention Task Force, alert all teachers (need to know basis), counseling sessions and contact parents with additional consequences if necessary. Optional: Other possible consequences include: Removal from the classroom, Payment of damages to property, sign agreement to “stay away” from the other person, support group, letter of apology, written assignments, and/or book reports related to the topic, restricted movement in the building, isolated lunch, escorted by an adult to class, removal from extracurricular activities, ISS, OSS, refer to law enforcement officials (automatic referral for issues of harassment related to gender identity, race, religion, national origin, or disability) . Level 3 Consequences Minimum:ISS, OSS, refer to law enforcement officials (when necessary) and ongoing counseling. Optional:The same as for Level 2, plus complete the schools Bully Prevention Program which includes up to 6 counseling sessions and writing a paper, or attend 6 week campus support group and meet with parents. Reporting vs. Tattling: What’s the Difference? Stress to students that “reporting helps stop trouble” and “tattling wastes time and causes trouble.” Drill them on this topic! By this age, the thought of “being a snitch” is ingrained in their minds. Due to this fact, we have to work hard at making them to feel comfortable in reporting. Assure anonymity, discuss consequences if they don’t report (someone could get harmed), if you say nothing then you’re helping the student who bullies get away with hurting others.

13. Physical – harming someone’s body in any way, taking someone’s possessions, or damaging someone’s possessions in any way. Emotional – harming someone’s self worth by verbal and nonverbal communication. This includes, but is not limited to, teasing, name calling, insulting, intimidating, threatening, making gestures, staring/“mugging”, or eye rolling. Social – Harming another person’s group acceptance through gossip, rumors, trying to ruin their reputation, arranging public humiliation, excluding others, getting others to exclude others, or interfering in someone’s making or keeping friends in any way. Electronic /Cyberbullying– Harming someone through the use of text messages, phone calls, emails, Twitter, Facebook, My Space, photos, or by any other electronic means.

14. Note: Not all forms of aggression are considered bullying. For example, it is not bullying when 1) two friends get into an argument 2) someone calls someone a name one time 3) or, two students of equal power lose control of their anger and get into a fight. For bullying to exist, there must be an imbalance of power (either physically, or in lack of social skills to defend oneself, or in regard to perceived status), and it must occur “repeatedly and over time”.

15. Harassment is bullying by threats of or actual physical violence; the creation by whatever means of a climate of hostility or intimidation; or the use of language, conduct, or symbols in such a manner as to be commonly understood to convey hatred, contempt, or prejudice or have the effect of insulting or stigmatizing an individual. Harassment includes, but is not limited to, bullying on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, or disability or any other basis prohibited by law (such as dating violence and sexual harassment). All matters involving harassment will be reviewed for possible referral to law enforcement officials

16. Hazing means any intentional, knowing, or reckless act, occurring on or off campus of an educational institution, by one person alone, or acting with others, directed against a student that endangers, or has the potential to endanger, the mental or physical health or safety of a student for the purpose of pledging, being initiated into, affiliating with, holding office in, or maintaining a membership of a group, a team, or organization. All matters involving hazing issues will be reported to law enforcement officials.

17. Not all forms of aggression are bullying.  For example, it is not bullying when 1) two friends get into an argument 2) someone teases someone one time or, 3) two students of equal power lose control of their anger and fight.  For bullying to exist, there must be an imbalance of power (either physically, or in lack of social skills to defend oneself, or in regard to perceived status).  The seriousness for all aggressive behavior should be evaluated based on the harm to the student and the frequency of occurrence.

18. Consequences for Violation of School Bullying/Harassment/Hazing Rules Level 1: Behaviors which interferes with the learning of others and violates a student’s right to feel safe, to have their possessions be safe, and to be included. Examples: Teasing, excluding others, generally disturbing someone, name calling Consequences Minimum: Verbal Reprimandand warning of future consequences Note: The third level 1 classroom offense will result in a referral to the Assistant Principal for discipline and the Counselor for counseling. At this point, the student will be advised that all future Level 1 offenses will receive a minimum of a Level 2 consequence.

19. Level 2: Behaviors which are not intended to cause physical harm and are not illegal, but do negatively affect an orderly school environment. Examples: Thefourth referral for teasing, or other level one offense, intimidation, encouraging someone else to bully someone in any way, aggressive actions, destruction of property, continual gossip/rumors, undermining relationships, or taking possessions. If this involves breaking a law, it will go to a level 3 offense. Consequences Minimum: Removal of a privilege or removal from where the behavior is occurring, detention, referral to school anti-bullying task force; alert all teachers (need to know basis), counseling sessions and contact parent. Optional: Other possible consequences include: removal from the classroom, payment of damages to property, sign agreement to “stay away” from the other person, support group, letter of apology, write a paper on topic related to the topic, restrict movement in the building, isolated lunch, restrict extracurricular activities, ISS, OSS, refer to law enforcement officials (minimum referral for issues of harassment related to gender identity, race, national origin, religion, or disability).

20. Level 3: Behaviors which are intended to cause physical or mental harm and/or are illegal. Automatic with 5th referral for a bullying offense Examples: Fighting, or assault of any kind, harassment (as defined earlier), destruction of property, intimidation, or extortion threats, blatant disregard for others, retaliation, or encouraging others to retaliate against someone. Consequences Minimum: Removal from some privilege, or from where the behavior is occurring, ISS, OSS, refer to law enforcement officials and ongoing counseling, Optional: The same as Level 2, plus complete the schools Bully Prevention Program which includes up to 6 counseling sessions and writing a paper, or attend 6 week campus support group and meeting with parents.

21. What can you do to make Sparks a “Bully Free School?

22. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE THE TARGET… 1. Use your assertive skills to tell the person to STOP! 2. Don’t believe the bully – the bully only has the power if you give it. 3. Value yourself. 4. Report bullying incidents that are harmful, dangerous, or destructive. 5. Find safe places and people. 6. Make new friends and try new activities.

23. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE BULLY BEHAVIOR… 1. Realize and identify the problem behavior. 2. Acknowledge that you need to change the behavior. 3. Apologize for the negative behavior. 4. use your conflict management skills to handle the problem. 5. Increase your empathy and concern for others. 6. Use your leadership skills to help rather than hurt.

24. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE THE BYSTANDER… Choosing to ignore the bullying is the same as supporting the behavior) 1. Refuse to be an audience for the bullying incident. 2. If appropriate and sage, ask the bully to stop. (Use words like, “Knock it off!” or “Cut it out!”). 3. Be a friend to the victim, invite them to talk with you (Say, “Come play on our team.” or “Can I sit with you at lunch?”). 4. Support the victim – write the victim a note or tell him/her that you don’t agree with the bully. 5. Tell an Adult (There is a difference between TATTLING and TELLING: The IN/OUT Rule) …use the “Mailbox” to drop in a note. IN/OUT Rule: If something is wrong and you are trying to get someone OUT of trouble then you need to tell, but if you are trying to get someone IN trouble then don’t tell – that’s tattling.

25. Steps for a Bullying-Free School If you have BULLY BEHAVIOR – admit it and change. If you are a BYSTANDER – be a friend to help or tell. If you are a TARGET – be assertive, say STOP! and be proud of who you are.

26. Rumors & Gossip

27. Are you guilty? • Assume that what you say behind someone’s back will get back to the person. • Try changing the subject when someone shares a rumor or tries to gossip with you. • When you are tempted to gossip – say something nice about the person instead. • Watch what you put in writing… • Stop and think what you should say before you say it. • If you have passed on an untrue rumor, apologize and then go to those you gossiped to and set the story straight. • Resist temptation to tell your friend’s secret – remain a person that can be trusted.

28. Are you a victim? • Let your real friends know it’s not true. • Laugh it off. • Label it as a ridiculous rumor. • Don’t take it personally, realize it may have resulted from someone’s need for power or control. • Resist the urge for revenge-you’re better than that!

29. So what is Sparks doing about the problem . . . • Sparks DOES NOT tolerate, condone, or ignore bullying. • Sparks is implementing and following the FISD Policy and Procedures for Bullying • As parents, you signed that you and your child have read, understand, and agree to this policy. • Direct communication with parents regarding bullying situations. • Encourage parents and students to contact someone at the school if there is a bullying situation. • Provide a “Bully Box” for students to leave notes regarding bullying situations. The box is assessable, but once the note is dropped in, then only the person with the key can get the notes out. • Encourage students that are not comfortable coming to the office …Principal, Assistant Principal, or Counselor, to utilize email to let us they either need to talk with one of us or that there is a problem.

30. Rachel’s Challenge Curriculum – Rachel Joy Scott was the first student killed at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. Rachel felt that through our kind acts to others we just might start a “Chain Reaction” of Kindness and Compassion. Rockwall ISD counselors wrote an Elementary School curriculum that I utilize in classroom guidance. We continually emphasize showing kindness to others. In elementary we do not discuss how or why she died, but we discuss what her vision, passion, dream was for a kinder world.

31. Chain Links – Each grade level has a different color strip of paper. When someone does something for a student or a student sees something that someone else does that is showing kindness or compassion, they can write it on a strip of paper, share with the class and then add to the “Chain Links of Kindness” in each classroom.

32. Rachel Ambassadors An Ambassador is an authorized messenger or representative from a particular place or for a particular purpose. This year there will be a new group for students called Rachel’s Ambassadors. This group will be open to any student in grades 3-5 that want to commit to spreading kindness and compassion at Sparks. Those interested will meet once a month after school (day to be determined). There will be a short story/lesson where the students discuss a situation and then determine how they could show kindness /or compassion. Also at the monthly meeting there will be some type of “service” project. The Ambassadors will do something to spread kindness and compassion at Sparks, in the immediate community and/or around the world.

33. Guidance Lessons Every other week I go into each classroom and teach a lesson. Each lesson has a specific objective, but I always talk about “filling a bucket”, kindness, compassion and what we can do to spread this around the world. Most lessons focus on a particular aspect of the Rachel’s Challenge Curriculum – Goal-Setting, Journaling, Influence, Acceptance, and Kindness. I utilize literature in my lessons to help “drive home” the point meaning of the particular lesson. Rachel felt that each one of these aspects was important to creating the “chain reaction of kindness”. Goal-Setting– provides a direction for your life and knowing the steps to take to get there. Influence – how our behavior can impact and effect the behavior and attitudes of others. Acceptance – Accepting others for who they are on the inside and not who they are on the outside. It is our “heart” that makes us who we are…not the clothes we where, how we look, our size, etc. Kindness – we need to focus on showing kindness to everyone at all times.

34. Problem Solving Skills While we DO NOT tolerate bullying, all students need to learn how to handle a variety of situations. As they become older, they are given more responsibility and the opportunity to be involved in activities that will have less parent supervision. Problem –Solving Skills help us all know how to handle difficult situations. It is much easier to discuss the problems of elementary age children and how to solve these situations then to wait until the challenges of middle school and high school arrive and then the child is left without the necessary tools to handle different and difficult situations.

35. First and Second Grade - KELSO Differences between SMALL and BIG problems. Differences between TELLING and TATTLING How to handle different situations. How to know when you need to TELL.

36. AGREE WITH THE TEASER CHANGE THE SUBJECT MAKE A JOKE WALK AWAY UNDERSTANDING THE TEASER’S REASONS BE ASSERTIVE AND TELL THEM TO STOP GET BUSY DOING SOMETHING ELSE SMILE RESPOND IN A FRIENDLY WAY SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS WITH A “DON’T CARE” ATTITUDE JOIN OTHER FRIENDS GET HELP Teasing Wheel of Strategies

37. Sparks is a . . .