LEARN TO COPE ☻ BE RESILIENT!!!

1. LEARN TO COPE ☻BE RESILIENT!!! by Rick Heidt, Consultant F.R.I.E.N.D.Bismarck, ND701-527-4257

2. R E S I L I E N C E The process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. … “bouncing back” from difficult experiences. [American Psychological Association brochure, “The Road to Resilience”]

3. ORR E S I L I E N C E The ability to successfully cope with change or misfortune. http://www.resiliencescale.com/faqs.html

4. R E S I L I E N C E “Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People commonly demonstrate resilience. One example is the response of many Americans to the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks and individuals’ efforts to rebuild their lives.” [American Psychological Association brochure, “The Road to Resilience”]

5. 15 Elements of Resilience • From the article entitled, “I am, I have, I Can: What Families Worldwide Taught Us About Resilience” by Edith Grotberg. (from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998) • The International Resilience Research Project (IRR P) surveyed over 1,200 families and children from 27 sites in 22 countries.

6. Resiliency Process (Groups) NOTE: Draw upon your skills that you already use in the “IEP” process! Don’t try to “re-invent the wheel”! • 15 Elements of Resilience – Identify areas of need. • C O P I N G S K I L L S – How to/What to do! • 10 WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE – Understanding dynamics! • The Other 3 R’S – Developing “Coping skills”

7. 15 Elements of Resilience I HAVE I AM I CAN

8. 15 Elements of Resilience I HAVE: • People around me I trust + who love me, no matter what. [ TRUSTING/LOVING] • People who set limits for me so I know when to stop before there is danger or trouble. [LIMIT SETTING] • People who show me how to do things right by the way they do things.[POSITIVE ROLE MODELING] 4. People who want me to learn to do things on my own. [PERSONAL INITIATIVE] 5. People who help me when I am sick, in danger, or need to learn. [CARING, INVOLVED FRIENDS] (from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998)

9. 15 Elements of Resilience I AM: 6. A person people can like and love. [LIKEABLE/LOVABLE] 7. Glad to do nice things for others + show my concern. [EMPATHETHIC] 8. Respectful of myself + others. [RESPECTFUL] 9. Willing to be responsible for what I do. [RESPONSIBLE] 10. Sure things will be all right. [CONFIDENT] (from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998)

10. 15 Elements of Resilience I CAN: 11. Talk to others about things that frighten me or bother me. [CONSULT OTHERS] 12. Find ways to solve problems that I face. [SOLVE PROBLEMS] • Control myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous. [CONTROL MYSELF POSITIVELY] • Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone or take action. [MAKE GOOD DECISIONS] 15. Find someone to help me when I need it. [SEEK HELP] (from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998)

11. Resiliency Process (Groups) NOTE: Draw upon your skills that you already use in the “IEP” process! Don’t try to “re-invent the wheel”! • 15 Elements of Resilience – Identify areas of need. • C O P I N G S K I L L S – How to/What to do! • 10 WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE – Understanding dynamics! • The Other 3 R’S – Developing “Coping skills”

12. COPING S K I L L S “It’s not a tricky concept.” • Talk to your kids + listen to them. • Give honest + sincere praise when they do something well. • Show that you love + respect them for who they are. • When they do something wrong, give consequences.

13. COPING S K I L L S • Teach them to respect all people regardless of their differences. • Allow them to experience hurt + pain. • Teach them that everyone has value. • Tell them + show that you will always be there for them, no matter what!!

14. Resiliency Process (Groups) NOTE: Draw upon your skills that you already use in the “IEP” process! Don’t try to “re-invent the wheel”! • 15 Elements of Resilience – Identify areas of need. • C O P I N G S K I L L S – How to/What to do! • 10 WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE – Understanding dynamics! • The Other 3 R’S – Developing “Coping skills”

15. 10 WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE • Make connections • Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. • Accept that change is a part of living. • Move toward your goals. • Take decisive actions. [American Psychological Association brochure, “The Road Resilience”]

16. 10 WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE • Look for opportunities for self discovery. • Nurture a positive view of yourself. • Keep things in perspective. • Maintain a hopeful outlook. • Take care of yourself. [American Psychological Association brochure, “The Road to Resilience”]

17. Resiliency Process (Groups) NOTE: Draw upon your skills that you already use in the “IEP” process! Don’t try to “re-invent the wheel”! • 15 Elements of Resilience – Identify areas of need. • C O P I N G S K I L L S – How to/What to do! • 10 WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE – Understanding dynamics! • The Other 3 R’S – Developing “Coping skills”

18. The Other 3 R’S:Reasoning, Resilience+ Responsibility

19. The Other 3 R’S:Reasoning*, Resilience+ Responsibility Thinking that utilizes explicit/implicit rules, focusing on effective problem solving particularly in regard to academic challenges. * http://www.apa.org/ed/schools/cpse/publications/3rs-defined.aspx

20. The Other 3 R’S:Reasoning, Resilience *+ Responsibility • Solving problems (inside/outside of school). • Challenges/difficulties – normal part of life. “Challenges are normal. We all have them.”* *American Psychological Association

21. The Other 3 R’S:Reasoning, Resilience+ Responsibility* Academic Responsibility – • “Good grades result from my efforts.” • “If I want to learn, it’s up to me.” Personal Responsibility – • “It’s up to me to make it happen.” • “How I act matters.” Social Responsibility – • “I will help you.” • “I need help.” *American Psychological Association

22. Instruction • Rank the resilience elements. • Brainstorm for possible approaches to restoring these. • Role play the student, parent, and school personnel who are involved. [Try to assume each role!] • Critique the exercise – how you might have done it differently!! • Brainstorm how to incorporate resilience within everyday classroom situations.

23. Worksheet 1 I have 1. People around me I trust + who love me, no matter what. • People who set limits for me, so I know when to stop before there is danger or trouble. • People who show me how to do things right by the way they do things. 4. People who want me to learn to do things on my own. 5. People who help me when I am sick, in danger, or need to learn.

24. Worksheet 1 I am: 6. A person people can like and love. 7. Glad to do nice things for others + show my concern. 8. Respectful of myself + others. 9. Willing to be responsible for what I do. 10. Sure things will be all right.

25. Worksheet 1 I CAN 11. Talk to others about things that frighten me or bother me. 12. Find ways to solve problems that I face. • Control myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous. • Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone or take action. 15. Find someone to help me when I need it.

26. Worksheet #2 I have: 1. [ TRUSTING/LOVING] • [LIMIT SETTING] • [POSITIVE ROLE MODELING] 4. [PERSONAL INITIATIVE] • [CARING, INVOLVED FRIENDS] (from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998)

27. Worksheet #2 I am: • [LIKEABLE/LOVABLE] • [EMPATHETHIC] • [RESPECTFUL] • [RESPONSIBLE] • [CONFIDENT] (from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998)

28. Worksheet #2 I can: • [CONSULT OTHERS] • [SOLVE PROBLEMS] • [CONTROL MYSELF POSITIVELY] • [MAKE GOOD DECISIONS] • [SEEK HELP] from “Reaching Today’s Youth”, vol.2, Issue 3, p. 37, Spring 1998)

29. GO FORTH… AND COPE !!!