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TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know. Welcome. www.trustedadvisor.com/pmireston. Common People Challenges. What’s most VEXING for you?. Make a compelling case Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders Say “no” to a customer Recover from mistakes
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TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know
Welcome • www.trustedadvisor.com/pmireston
Common People Challenges What’s most VEXING for you? • Make a compelling case • Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders • Say “no” to a customer • Recover from mistakes • Transition to a new customer
Goals for Today At the end of this PRESENTATION you will: • Know the four essential elements of trustworthiness • Understand the “secret weapon” of influence • Appreciate the paradox of trust and be able to put it to work
The Trust Equation WHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH? C+R+I S T = T trustworthiness C credibility R reliability I intimacy Sself-orientation
Big “S”/Little “S” It’s a question of focus • Rush to solution • Make a bad 1st deal • “Hoard” • Talk, talk, talk • Avoid confrontation • HIGH “S” • Compete for attention • RESULTS • NEEDS • Be really curious • Create true win-win • Do the right thing • Listen without distraction • Low “S” • Speak a hard truth • Give them credit
The Trust Equation WHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH? C+R+I S T = T trustworthiness C credibility R reliability I intimacy Sself-orientation
How We Think People Think It’s a question of focus Truth Facts Logic
Cialdini on Influence The psychology of persuasion A primary driver of influence is … reciprocity
Gottman on Long-Term Partnership The importance of empathy “Understanding must precede advice.” “You have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize … before you suggest a solution.”
“Sounds like we haven’t done a good job making our case.” What Empathy Sounds Like “I don’t see value in that.” “That’s a tough spot to be in.” “We’re just not sure which way to go.” “I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m sure that’s frustrating, to say the least.” “I’m disappointed by your team’s results.”
Three-Level Listening PUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE In pairs: Person A shares a project challenge Person B plays consultant/listener • 3-minute role-play: • Person A—Share • Person B—DO NOT solve the problem! • 1-minute debrief: • What was your experience? • Switch roles and repeat
Thomas Friedman on Listening “People often ask me how I, an American Jew, have been able to operate in the Arab/Muslim world for 20 years, and my answer to them is always the same. The secret is to be a good listener …” “ … It's not just what you hear by listening that is important. It is what you say by listening that is important...” • “ … Never underestimate how much people just want to feel that they have been heard; once you have given them that chance, they will hear you.”
Make a compelling case • Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders • Say “no” to a customer • Recover from mistakes • Transition to a new customer Key Takeaways
WITH OUR COMPLIMENTS The Goodie Bag www.trustedadvisor.com/pmireston ahowe@trustedadvisor.com