Divorce, Single-Parent Families, and Stepfamilies

1. Divorce, Single-Parent Families, and Stepfamilies Chapter 15

2. Trends… • Marriage remains popular • Yet approximately 50% end in divorce • 60% of second marriages end in divorce • Marriage longevity • 43% first marriages end in divorce within 15 years • 33% end within first 10 years • 20% end within 5 years Centers for Disease Control, 2004

3. Divorce • Age at time of marriage associated with divorce rate • 59% of marriages of young women end within 5 years compared to 36% for older women • Higher rates among • Lower income couples • Blacks when compared to Whites • Mixed religious couples • Average age at divorce • For men it is 36; for Women it is 33

4. Estimated Divorce Rate

5. Traditional Gender division of responsibilities Fault Based Adversarial Proceedings Settlement linked to fault No Fault Divorce Redefinition of responsibilities Elimination of Fault Based Grounds Amicable Proceedings Equity, Equality and Need Based Traditional vs. No Fault Divorce

6. Amato & Previtti, 2003 Infidelity Incompatibility Alcohol and Drug Use Growing Apart Whisman, Dixon & Johnson, 1997 Poor Communication Power Struggles Unrealistic Expectations Sexual Relationship Problems Decision Making Causes of Divorce

7. Hetherington and Kelly • 30 year longitudinal sample of 1,400 who experienced divorce • Six styles of adjusting to divorce • Enhanced (20%) • Competent Loners (10%) • Good Enoughs (40%) • Seekers (13%) • Libertines (6%) • Defeateds (11%) Adjusted to Divorce Negatively Impacted Hetherington & Kelly, 2002

8. The Children of Divorce

9. “Games” Parents Play Parent interaction often place children in the middle—resulting in difficulties for the child • Child ends up in no-win situation • Report—upset one parent • Don’t report—upset the other parent • Ability of Parents Not to Play These Games Greatly Improves Child Outcomes

10. “Games…” • “Cut Down” • Putting the other parent down in front of child • “Messenger” • Child asked to deliver message to other parent • “I Spy” • Child asked to report on activities of other parent

11. Children’s Adjustment Wallerstein’s Longitudinal Study • Small clinical sample • Long term impact • After 5 years 1/3 of children showed signs of depression • After 10 years, underachieving adults and some emotional issues • After 15 years, adult children were having relational difficulties Wallerstein, 2003, 2004

12. Children’s Adjustment Hetherington and Kelly Longitudinal Study • Large sample of 2,500 children • 75-80% doing well after six years • First year most difficult • Boys rebel against mothers • Girls greater stress; some sexual issues • 20% had emotional problems Hetherington & Kelly, 2002

13. Children’s Adjustment As Adults Amato and Booth Longitudinal Study • Parent’s marital quality related to adult children’s relationship quality • Low conflict marriages ending in divorce had negative impact on adult children’s relationships • High conflict marriages ending in divorce had positive impact on adult children • Adult children of divorce had higher cohabitation rates Amato & Booth, 1997

14. Process of Divorce Complex social process Legal Divorce Focus is Often on the Legal Decree Overlooking the Events and Issues Preceding and Following

15. Six Stations of Divorce Bohannon identified six experiences or “stations” associated with divorce • May Overlap • Varying Sequences • Varying Intensity

16. Bohannon’s Six Stations of Divorce • Emotional • Legal • Economic • Co-parental • Community • Psychological

17. Emotional Divorce • Questioning the relationship • Withdrawal emotionally • Loss of mutual respect, trust, and affection • Anger and pain • Actual steps to divorce reviewed; as one may not want divorce yet • Gender differences

18. Legal Divorce • Officially end the marriage and gives former partners right to remarry • Approaches: • Attorney - Adversarial • Divorce Mediation

19. Economic Divorce • Involves the settlement of property • Assets • Liabilities • Downward economic impact for both • Feminization of Poverty

20. Coparental Divorce Co-parenting Plan Established Considering: • Custody • Visitation Schedule • Financial Responsibilities • Legal Responsibilities

21. Types of Custody Decisions Sole Custody • One parent has complete responsibility Split Custody • One parent has sole custody of 1 child; the other parent sole custody of the other child(ren)

22. Types of Custody Decisions Joint Custody • Two aspects: • Physical care of child • Legal decisions about child • Better outcomes for children: • When parents can co-parent effectively • Seen as standard by many courts

23. Mother Custody Financial stress Loneliness in parenting Parenting freedom Potential of quality co-parenting with father Father Custody Limited finances Work-family conflict Potential of greater closeness to children Custody Experiences

24. Community Divorce • Involves changing social relationships • Potential loss of relatives and social network • Gender differences: • Women loose more of network—quicker to re-establish support network than men

25. Psychological Divorce • Involves redefining the self • No longer a part of a couple • Many go through a mourning process • May involve questioning the direction desired in relationships

26. Common Consequences of Divorce • Health problems • Loneliness • Social adjustments • Sexual adjustments

27. Adjustment Factors Following Divorce • Non-initiators have greater difficulties • Those with young children have greater difficulties or challenges • Those with physical custody have greater difficulties or challenges • Those lacking support network experience higher stress

28. Adult Reactions to Divorce • Rediscovering feelings of self worth • Sense of failure about the marriage • Concern for future intimacy • Depression and alienation • Changes in lifestyle

29. Single Parent Families

30. Two Parent and Single Parent Families

31. Sample Model of Binuclear Family

32. Post Divorce Identity Two distinct phases in establishing a new identity • Transition • characterized by separation distress and then loneliness • generally ends at the end of the first year • Recovery • usually begins secondyearand lasts 1-3 years • moods becoming more stable • post divorce identity emerging

33. Dating Again • Prevents loneliness and reinforces self worth • Fulfills several functions: • statement to the world and former spouse • opportunity to enhance self esteem • initiates person into the “subculture of single-hood

34. Dating After Divorce… • Not a leisurely matter • Children have to be taken into account • Less spontaneity • Increased responsibilities since single years • May involve childcare considerations • Financial strains • Change or reconsideration of sexual values and ethics for some

35. Remarriage and Stepfamilies

36. Stepfamilies • Complex stepfamilies: • Both spouses bring children from prior marriages • Simple stepfamilies: • Only one spouse brings children from a previous marriage

37. Nuclear Members present Parents present Marriage may predate children Roles clearly defined Bonding to parents and family Stepfamily Relationship loss One biological parent lives elsewhere Children predate marriage Roles ambiguous Bond often greater to one parent Differences with Stepfamilies

38. Strengths of Simple vs. Complex Stepfamilies

39. Potential Benefits of Stepfamily to Children • Gain Multiple Role Models • Exposure to New Ideas and Values • Stepparents May Act as Sounding Board to Children’s Concerns • May Gain Additional Siblings • May Gain Additional Extended Kin Network • Economic Situation May Improve • May Gain Parents Who are Happily Married