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Unproductive Core Beliefs of Student’s

Unproductive Core Beliefs of Student’s. Dr. Roe 2009 California Baptist University. Value Circle (Wilhite, 1977). It’s bad to think well of myself…. I can’t be happy unless a certain condition – like success, money, love, approval, or perfect achievement – is met…. Ineffective Paradigms.

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Unproductive Core Beliefs of Student’s

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  1. Unproductive Core Beliefs of Student’s Dr. Roe 2009 California Baptist University

  2. Value Circle (Wilhite, 1977)

  3. It’s bad to think well of myself… I can’t be happy unless a certain condition – like success, money, love, approval, or perfect achievement – is met…

  4. Ineffective Paradigms • I can’t feel worthwhile unless a certain condition is met. • I am entitled to happiness (or success, health, self-respect, pleasure, love) without having to work for it. • One day when I make it, I’ll have friends and be able to enjoy myself. • Work should be hard and in some way unpleasant. • Joy is only gained through hard work. • I am inadequate…

  5. Continuing… • Worrying insures that I will be prepared to face and solve problems. So the more I worry, the better. • Life should be easy. I can’t enjoy it if there is problems. • The past makes me unhappy. There is no way around it. • There’s a perfect solution and I must find it. • If people disapprove of me, it means I am inferior, wrong, or no good. • If I try hard enough, all people will like me. • If I try hard enough, my future will be happy and trouble free… • Life muse be fair. • It doesn’t matter anyway – translated…I don’t matter.

  6. Injunctions • What decisions have you made up about the program… • What story did you make up about the event? • You attach the meaning… • There is no inherent significance in ANYTHING!

  7. Don’t make mistakes! • Possible decisions: • I am scared of making the wrong decision, so I simply won’t decide. • Because I made a dumb choice, I won’t decide on anything ever again. • I better be perfect if I hope to be accepted

  8. Don’t Be • The basic message – “I wish you hadn’t been born…” • Possible decisions: • I will keep trying until I get you to love me • If things get terrible, I will kill myself

  9. Don’t be close • Related to “Don’t trust” and “Don’t love” • Possible decisions: • I loved once and it backfired – never again! • Because it is scary to get close, I’ll keep myself distant.

  10. Don’t be Important • If you are constantly discounted when you speak… • Possible decision: • If, by chance, I ever do become important, I’ll play down my accomplishments…

  11. Don’t be a child… • “Always act adult, don’t be childish and make a fool of yourself – keep control of yourself” • Possible decisions: • I’ll take care of others and won’t ask much of myself. • I won’t let myself have fun.

  12. Don’t grow… • This message is given by the frightened parent who discourages the child from growing up in many ways… • Possible decisions: • I’ll stay a child, and that way I will get my parents to approve of me… • I won’t be sexual, and that way my Father won’t punish and push me away.

  13. Don’t succeed… • Possible decisions: • I’ll never do anything perfect enough, so why try? • I’ll succeed, even if it kills me. • If I don’t succeed, then I will not have to live up to high expectations others have for me.

  14. Don’t be you… • This involves suggesting to children that they are the wrong sex, shape, size, color, or have ideas or feelings that are unacceptable to parental figures… • Possible decisions: • They would love me only if I were a boy (girl), so it’s impossible to get their love. • I will pretend to be a boy (girl).

  15. Don’t be sane/Don’t be well • Possible decisions • I will get sick and then I will be included • I am crazy.

  16. Don’t Belong… • This injunction may indicate that a family feels that the child does not belong anywhere… • Possible decisions: • I’ll be a loner forever… • I will never belong anywhere…

  17. Alcoholic Families • Don’t Talk • Don’t Trust • Don’t Feel • Translates to future relationships • Programs very powerful • Manifested later in life

  18. Dyad Questions • Partner A – Partner B

  19. Question 1 • The most significant moment in my life, between the ages of 0-8 was…

  20. Question 2 • What I learned from my parents at a young age was…

  21. Question 3 • My biggest challenge in my life right now is…

  22. Question 4 • What is your biggest regret in life today that continues to prevent you from truly moving forward…

  23. Question 5 • What is the earliest moment you can recall in your life…What was the significance in that event for you…

  24. Question 6 • Describe your childhood and the feelings that you have made up about it…

  25. Question 7 • What major choices did you struggle with during your adolescent years…

  26. Question 8 • How do you think your adolescence affected the person that you are today…

  27. Question 9 • What event in your childhood would you change the outcome? What would be different in your life right now if that event had ended up differently?

  28. Question 10 • What picture from your childhood has the most significance for you? Describe the picture, and why it is so important…

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