CIL Strategies for Involving Parents in the Transition Process June 29, 2011 Presented by:

1. CIL Strategies for Involving Parents in the Transition Process June 29, 2011 Presented by: Aaron Baier Jayne Chase Stacey Milbern New Community Opportunities Center at ILRU Presents… 0

2. CIL Strategies for Involving Parents in the Transition Process June 29, 2011 Presented by: Aaron Baier Jayne Chase Stacey Milbern New Community Opportunities Center at ILRU Presents… 1

3. Purpose of the Project This presentation is part of a series of trainings and other activities provided to the IL field by the New Community Opportunities Center at ILRU. The project’s purpose is to assist CILs in developing self-sustaining programs that support community alternatives to institutionalization for individuals of any age, and youth transition from school to post-secondary education, employment, and community living. 2

4. Youth Transition Project Team ILRU’s partners and collaborators in the youth transition activities include Utah State University, Center for Persons with Disabilities National Youth Leadership Network Michele Martin, Social Media Consultant Margo Vreeburg Izzo, Ohio State’s Nisonger Center Association of Programs for Rural Independent Living 3

5. You will learn… • The important role and value of parental involvement at key points in the youth transition process • When and how Centers can involve parents in a way that maintains consumer self-determination • Best practices and strategies to assist parents with challenging situations through real life examples of effective parent/child collaboration through the transition process 4

6. Common Perception of Youth and Families in the Transition Process • “They don’t know.” • “They don’t care.” • “They can’t / don’t have the skills to do this.” • “What made them become parents?” • “We know better than they do about this.”

7. Systemic Reasons for these Perceptions • Ableism – system of power that favors people marked as able-bodied and polices those marked as having a disability • Ageism – system of power that says people of a certain age group (e.g. older people, youth) are less valuable or deserving of self-determination • Classism and racism • Presumed incompetence • Paternalism 6

8. Who/What is a Parent? • What has traditionally been viewed as a parent(s) devalues/excludes youth who do not have this traditional model as a part of their lives. • Biological or Adoptive • Foster • Grandparents • Older Sibling • Adult Ally • How can we move beyond this definition of “parent” into an understanding of a support system?

9. The Role of Parents/Support System • Parents are sometimes the one consistent relationship in a young person’s life. • Parents often provide, among other things: • Food • Shelter • Transportation • Medical Care / Disability-related Access Support • Learning Educational Laws (www.wrightslaw.com) • Keeping track of appointments • Support for young person’s dreams

10. Take Time to Know Your Customer • What does this support system look like? Different generations often share one roof. Familiarize yourself with diverse living situations. • What barriers are in place for this family? e.g. lack of interpreter, parents who are linguistically diverse especially need support to navigate the transition process. • Does the parent work? Who are other people providing support? • How does power play out between the adult, young person, others? Is there harm taking place?

11. What Parents Wish You Knew • Parentsoften feel, due to prior experiences, they are asked to participate in meetings simply because it is required and do not feel their contribution is valued nor listened to. • Listen to me - I know better than anyone, my son or daughter’s unique gifts and talents • I can go to school to learn what you know, there is nowhere for you to go to learn what I know • I know you do this every day but these concepts are sometimes frightening, please respect and recognize my feelings

12. Independent Living is not a Place • The very term, Independent Living, is often times viewed as unobtainable to a young person with a disability and/or their parents or support system due to the misconception of the word Independent • Talk to me about Interdependence • Know Best Practices “I have fought for years for my son to be in fully inclusive schools, do not talk to me about segregated work or living arrangements”

13. Transition is a Rite of Passage Too often for students with disabilities, the word transition is just another word which means separate and apart from community and students without disabilities. The Transition Process should be celebrated as a rite of passage for students with disabilities as other rites are celebrated for students without disabilities. “I am not ‘grieving’ because of my son’s disability.”

14. Questions and Answers

15. Consider Existing Youth Programming May include: • Peer Counseling / Mentoring / Support • Advocacy Services – Within Schools or Vocational Rehabilitation Services • Peer Support / Youth-Run Groups • Tutoring / Educational Assistance • Job / Life Skills Workshops and Trainings • General Education for Students (Disability History, etc)

16.  CIL  Youth  Parent  • CIL Employees are often going to be a liaison between the young person, their parents, and other organizations/entities. • Network and find appropriate connections in the community that can benefit the young person and will aid in the transition process. • Remember, while the young person is driving their own transition, it is okay for the CIL and Parent to provide positive support and direction.

17. Consider the Young Person’s Goals • College / Trade School • Employment / Career • Undecided / Unmotivated • Look closely at these goals. Break them down into smaller objectives that the young person will need to achieve. • This is where parental involvement and support will be most important!

18. What does Parent Involvement Look Like? • College / Trade School • Encouragement • Graduation with “high school diploma” (study, accommodations, tutoring) • ASAT / SAT Preparation (study) • Seeking out Appropriate College (Tours) • Financial Aid (FAFSA, Scholarships) • What to expect during first year of college

19. What does Parent Involvement Look Like? cont’d. • Employment / Career • Encouragement • Allow choice in career • Job readiness support • Applications, Resumes, Cover Letters, oh my… • Positive Attitude / Appropriate Behavior • Time Management • Money Management

20. What does Parent Involvement Look Like? cont’d. 2 • Undecided / Unmotivated • Encouragement • Think outside the box for ways a young person can use their unique talents • Show Options (college tours, bring to work, volunteerism) • Positive Optimism (I know you’ll figure it out) • High Expectations / Challenge

21. Provide Support to Parents • Parents are often scared to let go of the control they once had over their young person’s life. Provide support to ensure they don’t… • try for a hostile takeover • feel a lessened value • drop out too quickly • Facilitate a “mutual agreement” between the young person and parent • Be a gentle reminder to the parent • Keep things positive, with everyone

22. Outreach to Parents • Hopefully, the parent is seeking involvement from the beginning. However, some young people seek out assistance themselves, or through school. • Support young person’s self determination. Ask how they see their parent/adult ally being involved. Remember to: • Maintain Confidentiality • Call parent to inform of participation • Encourage parents through outreach to be more involved (if they aren’t) • Keep parent apprised of drastic changes in young person’s life • Send home information and updates to help parents know where they can provide support

23. Provide Support to Parent, cont’d Facilitate a Parent Mentorship Group • Create an open forum for parents to discuss positive outcomes and air their concerns • Moderate to ensure the group keeps their young people in the “driver’s seat” • Teach strategies for helping parents support their young people to become more independent

24. Foreseeable Barriers • Lack of Parent Involvement • Inaccessibility for parents / Work schedule • Past experiences / Lack of trust / Disconnection • Bad power dynamics – Harmful behavior • Dependence on SSA Benefits

25. Questions and Answers 24

26. On the Ground…Best Practices

27. Detroit Summer • Youth led with authentic intergenerational support • Tools – skill-shares, potluck, media making • Addresses issues by focusing on how to solve them with community transformation

28. A youth-made curriculum that says family must be in the trenches with us and includes support systems receiving political education, thinking about their own support systems and creating goals Focuses on interdependence, maximizing self-determination, and creating spaces where we can be safe / whole NYLN Reap What You Sow

29. Putting Young People “at the Center” • What would it look like for a transition program to be youth-led? e.g. a CIL staff person who is a young person with a disability-- what would have to happen to support that young person’s work and development? • How do we support youth voice and understand the power of this work, especially in a world where youth with disabilities do not experience much self determination?

30. CIL Case Study: Christine CIL contacted by mental health counselor. Young person, pressured toward IEP Diploma, unmotivated. Parent feared youth being labeled as mentally ill. CIL provided… • Peer Counseling • Goal Development • IEP Advocacy • Career Exploration • Study Assistance • Participation in Peer Youth Group • Parent remained active throughout and in many cases was the determining factor for Christine to follow-through and as a result she graduated with a high school diploma.

31. Recap!

32. It takes a village… • How can we support parent involvement? What does accessibility look like to working class parents? Parents who do not speak English? Single parents? • How can we incorporate young people building support systems that involve other people? Siblings? Teachers? Neighbors? • How can we support intergenerational mentorship? Peer mentorship? • What else??

33. Questions and Answers

34. Resources • www.nyln.org – National Youth Leadership Network • www.wrightslaw.com – site for parents/advocates to learn about educational laws • www.kidstogether.org – Information & resources for children and adults with disabilities Check out Community and Perspectives! • www.bls.gov/k12/ - The Bureau of Labor Statistics • http://www.arcnetc.org/uploads/Guardianship_and_Alternatives_.pdf - Guardianship Alternatives

35. Contact Information • Aaron T. Baier abaier@aticortland.org • Jayne Chase jchase1040@aol.com • Stacey Milbern stacey@NYLN.org

36. Wrap Up and Evaluation • Please complete the evaluation of this program by clicking here: https://vovici.com/wsb.dll/s/12291g4a93f

37. New Community Opportunities Attribution This webinar is presented by the New Community Opportunities Center, a national training and technical assistance project of ILRU, Independent Living Research Utilization. Support for development of this presentation was provided by the U.S. Department of Education, Rehabilitation Services Administration under grant number H400B100003. No official endorsement of the Department of Education should be inferred. Permission is granted for duplication of any portion of this slide presentation, providing that the following credit is given to the project: Developed as part of the New Community Opportunities Center at ILRU.