Anticipating Fatherhood: Men’s Meanings and Idea(l)s

Anticipating Fatherhood: Men’s Meanings and Idea(l)s K.E. Kushner, D.L. Williamson, G. Rempel, R. Breitkreuz, N.L. Letourneau & M. Charchuk Father Involvement Research Conference 2008 Toronto, ON: October 22, 2008

Research Project Mobilizing Intergenerational Social Support during the Transition to First-time Parenthood • Funded by: Social Sciences & Humanities Research Council • Research team • K.E. Kushner (PI), D.L. Williamson, M. Stewart, N. Letourneau, D. Spitzer, G. Rempel, R. Breitkreuz • M. Charchuk, N. Pitre, S. Lemire, K. Warners, L. Sakaluk-Moody, J. Choi, C. Zhu, K. Svechnikova

Our ‘voice’ • A critical, praxis-oriented view of science • An ecological view of health and health promotion • Professional and personal standpoints

Research Design Critical ethnography • Community advisory group • Individual interactive interviews during last trimester of pregnancy • Thematic content analysis

Background • Emergence of research about fathering and fatherhood in Canada and internationally • Knowledge gaps about the transition to first-time fatherhood reveal need for • prospective examination of fathering • critical examination of influences on father involvement and on paid/family work and individual/family well-being dynamics • attention to the experiences of immigrant fathers in Canada • Limited understanding of intersections of gender, family and cultural ideals for men as they become fathers

Purpose to examine the meanings and context of fatherhood as men prepare to become fathers for the first time

Research Questions • What does becoming a father mean? • How do men’s views of fathering relate to social ideals of fatherhood?

Participant Profile(n=18 men) • Age range: 25 to 38 years • Spouse/partner status: 16 married, 2 common-law with birth mother • Ethnicity: 12 Canadian-born, 6 immigrant from Mainland China • Education: < high school to graduate degree • Employment: • professional (8), management (2), technical/skilled (6) • funded graduate student in professional occupation (2) • Family income: $30K to >$150K; median $80K

Anticipating Fathering “It’s definitely a big deal, first and foremost the biggest priority, I guess…it should be in anyone’s life.” [29 yo skilled trade] “It’s just being responsible and being someone who’s able to raise that person properly…it’s a long process.” [32 yo skilled sales] “It’s kind of overwhelming to think of preparing your child for the world.” [28 yo professional] “It’s good to see a child growing up…a baby doesn’t know everything, then in your family he grows up and he will have his own family and you’ll become a grandfather. The whole process.” [37 yo professional]

Key Themes Roles Personal characteristics Feelings Actions & outcomes Status change

Roles Teacher & role model “…being a role model and a teacher…to try and teach the child how to think through their own situations and be happy with who they are.” [28 yo professional] “You’re gonna be a teacher for life. You teach that baby your values and your ethics and everything you believe in…you’re their role model for a very long time.” [25 yo middle management] Provider “…it’s being the key person in a baby’s life…you’re 100% the provider of this child and it’s 100% dependent.” [32 yo skilled sales]

Personal Characteristics Being dependable, mature “I’m gonna have to be dependable.” [27 yo skilled service] “Although I am 29, I think I am not very mature in my mind. Now I have my own child, I’m ready to face that.” [29 yo skilled business, immigrant]

Feelings Excitement “It’s gonna be exciting, it’s another adventure I haven’t taken.” [27 yo skilled service] “I’m really excited, ’cause I’ve always wanted to have kids.” [38 yo professional] “I really can’t wait.” [37 yo professional, immigrant]

Feelings Uncertainty & anxiety “I can’t take care of all things by myself.” [37 yo professional, immigrant] “What if I don’t like being a dad? What if I hate the lifestyle ’cause I’m prevented from doing things? If I can’t do those things, then I’m not going to be happy in life, right?” [31 yo professional]

Actions and Outcomes Guiding the child to become a competent individual “… tell them how to face success, how to face failure, this I think is really important. I think what’s most important is how to face failure, is more important than how to face success.” [33 yo graduate student, professional, immigrant] “providing boundaries for them to grow into competent individuals who can become adults and parents themselves. It means creating an environment that they can grow and learn and understand the world.” [36 yo graduate student, professional] “…making that little person into a good person growing up.” [32 yo skilled sales, immigrant]

Status Change Lifecycle “We call it ‘rise up’…you become a father, you’re not a young man anymore, it’s another stage of life.” [32 yo professional, immigrant] “I’m going to be a dad, my parents are gonna be grandparents, and the lifecycle is continuing, and I’m getting old.” [27 yo skilled service] Family “If you don’t have a child, I think it’s not really like a family because [it’s] just two [people living] together… [a] child [is] that bridge. Before I think we [were] two independent people, but since we have this baby, even [though] he’s not born, I think we are connected.” [37 yo professional, immigrant]

Fatherhood & Paid Work Fatherhood ideals Workplace ideals

Fatherhood Ideals Being involved “My conscious thought is to be involved in any and every way possible, all the way, well, everything except feeding. Everything that [wife] does, I want to do. I would love to be there all day every day… Providing for your family …but I can’t, so at this point I’m attempting to provide as much financial support as I can to allow us the same sort of lifestyle that we did up to this point.” [36 yo graduate student, professional]

Workplace Ideals Workplace Culture “You get valued by how hard you work and not saying ‘no’ and working your ass off, and being one of the guys. If I’m too much of a family guy, that’ll start becoming an issue. I’m going to become that guy that they don’t value anymore…that they don’t respect.” [31 yo professional]

Workplace Ideals Workplace Conditions “The way my job is, it’s really hard to ask for time off. My boss is really good with doctor’s appointments, stuff like that he really understands. But if I need a week off, I really have to beg, borrow, or steal for it. It’s just because we are so busy and they can’t get people.” [29 yo skilled service] “My work is very busy, my two partners …they’re going to be extremely busy because of my circumstances, that unfortunately my children come first for a period of time. Hopefully they can do more work and allow me to be more free.” [37 yo professional]

Workplace Ideals Leave Policies “Unfortunately, economically, it’s [parental leave] just not viable… essentially when your salary is halved, and you have mortgage payments and condo fees and bills and all the other stuff, it’s a pretty good whack.” [38 yo professional] “So when I take a month off, it’ll be paid vacation so I’ll get a hundred percent of my wages. I don’t think we’d be able to make it on just 80% or 60% [employer leave].” [31 yo professional] “I really wanted to take some parental leave ’cause I’m entitled, but [spouse]doesn’t have a full-time job. So, I would be able to take it [leave], but I wouldn’t be able to afford it because it’s not full wages.” [25 yo middle management]

Conclusions • Wanting to be an involved father and providing for the family – anticipating tensions between personal idea(l)s of fathering and • culturally-situated fatherhood discourse – the “good father” • workplace discourse – the “good worker” • Knowing but not knowing • fathering in the abstract

Implications for OurOn-going Research • Our preliminary analysis provides sensitizing themes for further exploration in follow-up interviews with men (scheduled for 6-12 months after birth) • Men’s ‘naïve’ meanings of fathering & fatherhood provide a prospective basis to compare their expectations and experiences.

Anticipating Fatherhood: Men’s Meanings and Idea(l)s