Family Living 120

1. Family Living 120 The Reasons for Marriage

2. In Today’s Class… • Reminders: • Article Assignment Due Monday. Be sure to include a copy of the article along with a typed or hand written response to the article. E-mail if you have any questions on the weekend. All info is on my Wiki! • “Nell” movie questions over-due. • Today’s Class Objectives: • Revisit the 3 meanings of marriage • Learn the “idea of marriage” • Discuss the various pros and cons of marriage

3. Marriage as a Sacred Phenomenon • Marriage is the most traditional social norm which represents one extreme of a continuum, viewing marriage as a sacred phenomenon. • This means that the family and marriage are divine and holy institutions created by God as a supreme being. • This was most widely accepted before the 20th Century.

4. Marriage as a Social Obligation • Another traditional norm, widespread and widely accepted into the early 1990ss, views marriage and the family as rooted in social obligations. • The primary values of marriage and the family are to maintain social respectability, conform to kin and community wishes, and maintain a proper image within society. • Everything “bad” stayed behind closed doors.

5. Marriage as a Need for Individuals • The third meaning of marriage suggests that families and marriages exist for the individual. • The concern is not with God or society, but with the individual. • IF people choose to marry outside their religion, ethnic group, social order, or educational level, that is their business. • According to this view, being happy in a marriage is what determines success.

6. The “Idea of Marriage” • The idea of marriage is highly romanticized in our society through pop culture and the media. • Although marriage is still a popular institution, and many people marry, our society does little to prepare people for the new roles they will have to assume after marriage. • As we have studied, the rise of common-law relationships is on the rise and this could be a direct cause of the aforementioned point.

7. The Marriage Transition • Many religious institutions provide education and counseling programs but those not involved in church often do not have any preparation for entering marriage. • Only recently has the study of family been introduced into high school. • If you were getting married tomorrow, do you feel you would be fully prepared?

8. Group Activities: Pros & Cons of Marriage • Do the following in small groups (5-6) • Two groups will meet and brainstorm on the pros/positives and the reasons for marriage and compile a list on the provided sheets. • Two groups of will meet and brainstorm on the cons/negatives and reasons not to get marriage and compile a list on the provided sheet. • You will have 10 minutes then we will discuss the various results as a class.

9. Positive Reasons for Marriage • 1. Emotional Support • Important to our wellbeing. • 2. Commitment to a Permanent Relationship • When people marry, they expect to stay together and work at making the relationship last. • 3. Primariness • Coming first with another person – having a deeper and more intimate relationship with one special person than all others is linked with the idea of permanence and monogamy.

10. Positive Reasons for Marriage • 4. Sexual Exclusivity • For most people, marriage provides the setting that promotes sexual enjoyment and pleasure. • 5. Procreation and Childbearing • In the past, many people married to have children and have economic support. Today we still want a stable relationship with children.

11. Negative Reasons for Marriage • 1. Spite, Pity • To resolve feelings of rejection or “rebound” • 2. Loneliness • To prevent isolation • 3. Escape • To escape from an unhappy home situation (conflict, dictatorial parents, etc).

12. Negative Reasons for Marriage • 4. Premarital Pregnancy • Abortion is not acceptable and to prevent an unwed pregnancy, the couple decides to marry. This often causes resentment, conflict, etc. • 5. Economic Security • From spouse (pop-culture: “gold digger”). • 6. Sexual Attraction • May be short lived.

13. Class Discussion, Questions & Survey • Now that you have a good sense of some of the pros/const and the positive and negatives of marriage, what do you think about it all? • In this class you have learned that there are definite upsides and downsides to marriage and it must be taken with seriousness. • The idea and concept of marriage has been thoroughly explored and now you should have a much more holistic sense of this age-old institution. • Finally, do this small informal (and anonymous) survey which I will tally for next class!