Mapping the Experience of Domestic Abuse

1. Mapping the Experience of Domestic Abuse A sample survey by the Domestic Abuse Working GroupJune-July 2009

2. Initial enquiry aims • To clarify the existence of diocesan/agency/office policies • To surface resources for responding to incidences of domestic abuse within the Catholic community • To acquire a preliminary indication of the prevalence of incidents of domestic abuse • To record the stories of those involved

3. Definition For the purposes of this enquiry ‘domestic abuse’ is defined as any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are, or who have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This includes men, women, adult children, disabled, sick and elderly family members.

4. Initial enquiry methodology A brief questionnaire administered by email to: • 33 Safeguarding Coordinators & Officers, • 45 Marriage & Family Life coordinators, their colleagues and project workers and • 23 Caritas - Social Action Network member agencies. The MFL network had the opportunity of completing a return online through surveymonkey.com. In addition, a small sample of 11 diocesan and parish contacts was contacted by telephone within a single diocese. A total of 38 responses were received (11 MFL, 3 CSAN, 13 CSAS and 11 Diocesan) equal to a response rate of just under 34%.

5. Credibility Although the sample is very small, it targeted diocesan employees that might strongly be expected to • encounter incidences of domestic abuse in their day to day work • be aware of or involved in developing diocesan policies for addressing domestic abuse • be aware of colleagues within and beyond their diocese with expertise in addressing issues of domestic abuse. DAWG believe therefore that the results of the mapping exercise have some validity in terms of understanding current diocesan practices, policies and experiences.

6. Summary responses Question 1: Bearing in mind our working definition of domestic abuse, has your diocese/agency/office engaged in any work around the provision of pastoral care or other ministerial care for those affected by domestic abuse? If so please can you summarise this for us?

7. Sample Replies • We organised a conference in 2005 ‘Domestic Violence – Has the Church a Response?’ • We have had a discussion with MARAC and the work they do • The Archdiocese annually prepares, updates and issues to parishes an A4 directory of services available including the national helpline for domestic violence • The counselling service we provide meets this need. Although only one couple I have counselled brought issues of physical violence, I would say that a range of domestic abuses underlie most of the issues couples bring.

8. Summary responses Question 2: Does your diocese/agency /office have any policies or referral materials for dealing with incidents of domestic abuse?

9. Sample Replies • We have established links with local authority domestic abuse forums and the police • We do not hold any but would welcome a model we could adapt for our diocese • There is a clear process for referral into the local authority MARAC which collates all information about levels of risk to individuals and families and then coordinates appropriate levels of support. We are currently in the process of signing up to this process. • Where children have seen or heard DA with siblings, parents/carers we follow the Pan London Child Protection Procedures

10. Summary responses Question 3: How frequently do you personally come across domestic abuse in your work?

11. Sample Replies • Not often and certainly not nearly as often as I suspect it to be present • I have had 2 cases in 10 months; both had a longer history to them but came to my attention probably because these people knew me and with my new role thought I could help • I would say that power imbalance and abuse arising from that is a factor arising in about 80% of couples counselled – this would be the whole gamut of abuse form talking the woman down to exercising financial control • We encounter domestic abuse on a daily basis and receive referrals at least twice a week which make reference to domestic abuse

12. Story 1 A referral had been made re a young mum (17) with older partner (28) who has hinted at DA to her Sure start worker. She referred her into CCS as she knew of our experience in this area. It was felt that the real issues were cultural, as in the partners culture it is perceived to be acceptable to verbally abuse women. The plan is to work with the couple to help them both recognise what is and what is not ‘acceptable’ behaviour in a relationship, and to help them negotiate a different way of behaving with each other, as it is clear that they do want to stay together and are both prepared to work at their relationship.

13. Story 2 MO’N is an 80-year old widow who resides with her 57 year old son. She is visited on a weekly basis by a Eucharistic Minister. Following one such visit the Minister referred ‘concerns’ regarding threatening behaviour, physical and emotional abuse from her son. These involved name calling, threats of violence, threats to withhold food, physical restraint and a general feeling of being frightened and intimidated. The situation was aggravated by her son’s misuse of alcohol and bouts of depression. • Domestic Abuse case management file opened. • Social Services (Adult Services) received referral from Safeguarding Office. • Local police Domestic Violence Unit alerted for future support/ assistance/ response. • Safeguarding Office coordinate parish monitoring (Eucharistic Ministers/ SVP/ Parish Priest) and liaise with local authority Adult Protection/ Elderly Care Team. • Parish support to son together with local authority in conjunction with care plan.

14. Story 3 In the course of investigating an allegation of historic clergy abuse, the wife of the complainant disclosed that she had suffered domestic abuse over a number of years. This involved physical, emotional and financial abuse accompanied by threatening behaviour. This included being locked in the house to prevent her going to Mass or locked out of the house on returning from Mass. Her husband would also wait outside church and engage in name calling in public. On a number of occasions she was physically assaulted – cuts, bruises etc. but never reported the incidents to police. Her husband’s misuse of alcohol was an aggravating factor. • Local police DV Unit notified (even though she did not wish police to take any action). • Access provided to DV help group/ forum. • Support from Safeguarding Office and Parish Priest. • Victim, with support, eventually left home/ husband to reside with grown-up daughter and divorce proceedings commenced.

15. Conclusions • Diocesan policies for addressing domestic abuse are few and far between • Those most likely to come across cases of domestic abuse are Caritas-Social Action Network member agencies, Marriage Care counsellors and priests in urban areas • Diocesan staff are largely unaware of what other colleagues are experiencing and the expertise that is available to them locally in terms of responding to cases of domestic abuse • Raising awareness of domestic abuse increases the likelihood that victims will come forward • A lack of awareness on the part of diocesan staff may be encouraging victims to suffer in silence and/or seek assistance outside their Catholic community • A lack of awareness is a potential threat to the safeguarding of children and vulnerable adults • We are not without resources that can be highlighted and shared in order to promote greater awareness of domestic abuse and appropriate responses.

16. Resources for Catholics Experiencing Domestic Abuse www.cedar.uk.net