Managing complexity

1. common challenges for academic writers Mark Phillips BA Communication Studies with Biological Sciences, English Language Editor, STAKES Managing complexity

2. the big idea

3. the big idea Recognise complexity and you will manage it better

4. What I’m going to do today:

5. What I’m going to do today: • Say a few things about language editing

6. What I’m going to do today: • Say a few things about language editing • Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing

7. What I’m going to do today: • Say a few things about language editing • Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing • Show you some words that add complexity to a sentence – the ‘little beasts’ of English

8. What I’m going to do today: • Say a few things about language editing • Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing • Show you some words that add complexity to a sentence – the ‘little beasts’ of English • Give concrete examples of those words in action

9. What I’m going to do today: • Say a few things about language editing • Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing • Show you some words that add complexity to a sentence – the ‘little beasts’ of English • Give concrete examples of those words in action • Give you an exercise to practice what you have learnt

10. English Language Editing

11. English Language Editing • Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free

12. English Language Editing • Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free • If possible, work should pass through the hands of a native language editor/reviser

13. English Language Editing • Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free • If possible, work should pass through the hands of a native language editor/reviser • A language editor will focus on: • Accuracy • Clarity • Readability

14. English Language Editing • Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free • If possible, work should pass through the hands of a native language editor/reviser • A language editor will focus on: • Accuracy • Clarity • Readability • Language editing is a negotiated process

15. Complexity

16. Complexity • Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable

17. Complexity • Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable • Too many bits leads to confusion – i.e. making it unclear, unreadable and even inaccurate

18. Complexity • Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable • Too many bits leads to confusion – i.e. making it unclear, unreadable and even inaccurate • The complex can be made simple! If you can pack it, you can unpack it!

19. Complexity • Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable • Too many bits leads to confusion – i.e. making it unclear, unreadable and even inaccurate • The complex can be made simple! If you can pack it, you can unpack it! • Keywords: length & clarity (1+1+1+1)‏

20. Complexity (2)

21. Complexity (2) • Simple: A does B (to/in/for/behind C)‏

22. Complexity (2) • Simple: A does B (to/in/for/behind C)‏ • Complex: A + B = C (logical arguments)

23. Complexity (2) • Simple: A does B (to/in/for/behind C)‏ • Complex: A + B = C (logical arguments) • Very complex: A (fixed) + B (varying) = C (yes, if conditions D and E are also true, but no if condition F is true)

24. Processing (1)

25. Processing (1) • Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ?

26. Processing (1) • Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ? • However, imagine if you had a sum ?+13+6+4= , you wouldn’t get very far with the answer.

27. Processing (1) • Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ? • However, imagine if you had a sum ?+13+6+4= , you wouldn’t get very far with the answer. • So, are your terms clear?

28. Processing (1) • Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ? • However, imagine if you had a sum ?+13+6+4= , you wouldn’t get very far with the answer. • So, are your terms clear? • The reader of academic writing also questions the idea of the sentence. Is it true that A + B = C?

29. Processing (2) • So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory:

30. Processing (2) • So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: • the sentence parts

31. Processing (2) • So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: • the sentence parts • the possible meanings of each

32. Processing (2) • So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: • the sentence parts • the possible meanings of each • the perceived truth of those meanings

33. Processing (2) • So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: • the sentence parts • the possible meanings of each • the perceived truth of those meanings …until we are happy we have found both the author’s intended meaning and our response to it.

34. Processing (2) • So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: • the sentence parts • the possible meanings of each • the perceived truth of those meanings …until we are happy we have found both the author’s intended meaning and our response to it. • We are not usually efficient at remembering more than 5–7 items at a time

35. The reader ‘stumble’ We often ‘stumble’ as we read. A stumble is when we say to ourselves ‘maybe the author means this?’ “For a sub-editor, saying, "I don’t understand this" is not an admission of failure or inadequacy; it is a vital first step in turning the article into something that is easily understood" Peter – Managing Editor, Nature.

36. The reader ‘stumble’ We often ‘stumble’ as we read. A stumble is when we say to ourselves ‘maybe the author means this?’ “For a sub-editor, saying, "I don’t understand this" is not an admission of failure or inadequacy; it is a vital first step in turning the article into something that is easily understood" Peter Wrobel – Managing Editor, Nature.

37. Simple words that add complexity WordsEffect if conditional no/not/un-/but negate on/in/with expand and/also connect by agency Instensibility* abstract

38. Examples

39. Examples • For each of these words, I will give an example – a monster sentence.

40. Examples • For each of these words, I will give an example – a monster sentence. • Then we will look at tips for improving that sentence.

41. Examples • For each of these words, I will give an example – a monster sentence. • Then we will look at tips for improving that sentence. • All these tips are on a separate handout for you

42. Example – if “If you take a sentence as being made upof a series of parts and you were to analyse the complicating effect of those parts separately, then you wouldseethatthe more parts you have, and the more complicated those parts are, the more complex is the sentence and the more potentially difficult itis to understand that sentence, although itisnot just about the length, itis also often about the kinds of structures that you are using.”

43. Example – if Suggestions: Is the if-clause really necessary? Remove weak ‘to be’ verbs; keep your main point clear and uncluttered; where possible, avoid mixing complicated parts in the same sentence, e.g. ‘if-clauses’, negatives, comparatives, that-clauses, etc., an example goes a long way to helping your reader understand. “Longer sentences are potentially more complicated and difficult to understand. Some words naturally add to the complexity of the sentence, such as ‘if-then-but’.

44. Example – no/not/un- “In spite of the fact that there were unconvincing reasons for less attention being paid to the lack of funding for the new development plans, the implementation of the plans was not anyhow unsuccessful.”

45. Example – no/not/un- Suggestions: remove unnecessary parts, replace weak ‘to be’ verbs (there is/are/were etc.), turn negatives into positives where possible (from 5 to 1), avoid unnecessary nominalisations. “Although funding for the new development plans was not given adequate attention, they were still implemented successfully.”

46. Example – on/in/with “While age progresses in a fixed way for all people, diet can vary from one person to another, although both factors can have an impact on the level of healthof individuals, with the impact being positive in combination with exercise andgood genes, butnot so positive if combined with, e.g., a stressed work life.)‏

47. Example – on/in/with Suggestions: Split the sentence; reorganise the content, make it shorter (some 40%), reduce prepositions (from 10 to 3); bring keywords nearer the front (i.e. health): “Although health naturally deteriorates with advancing age, the choice of a healthy diet and regular exercise can improve health prospects. Potential negative risksto health include inherited factors and life stressors, such as work-related stress.”

48. Example – and “Other support structures were shared posts between hospitals, health centres, universities and polytechnics, regional workgroups and persons in charge in organisations, educations and collaboration practices. In the regions, strategic plans and leadership, evidence-based practice, know-how of personnel and regional collaboration were developed.”

49. Example – and Suggestions: reduce conjunctions (from 6 to 3); move keywords closer to front; reduce length (managers); turn passive into active; avoid preposition phrases (use inanimate agent); sequence the lists from simplest to most complex. “Support also took the form of training, collaboration practices, regional workgroups for managers, and shared posts between hospitals, health centres, universities and polytechnics. Development at the regional level focused on strategic plans, leadership, evidence-based practice, knowledge enhancement, and regional collaboration.”

50. Example – by “As a result of the increasing pressure of an ageing population in Finland, new models for the integration of home care and home nursing services, discharge practices from hospital to home and use of confidential electronic patient information records to share information between agencies have had to be developed by policy makers in Finland. This has brought about many changes in the work practices for home care and home nursing staff.”