Communicate to influence

1. Communicate to influence Chrissie Wright DSC cwright@dsc.org.uk

2. Communicate to Influence “ Seek first to understand, then be understood”.

3. Communication to Influence

4. “Leadership is about the ability to influence people by personal attributes and behaviours”. John Adair

5. How about you? • In your influencing, • What do you do well? • What would you like to do even better? • What might you need to work on to get better results with “difficult” people?

6. Communicate to Influence What makes us tick? … and what’s that got to do with onions?

7. THE HUMAN ONION

8. Values Influenced from early on in our childhood – by the ‘big’ people.

9. Core Values • Reputation Love Self-respect • Integrity Religion Honesty • Being attractive Creativity Generosity • Professionalism Friendship Money • Status Cleanliness Winning • Family Caring Equality

10. Values Influenced from early on in our childhood – by the ‘big’ people. Attitudes and Beliefs Influenced by our values

11. Values Influenced from early on in our childhood – by the ‘big’ people. Attitudes and Beliefs Influenced by our values Feelings An internal response, related to our attitudes and beliefs

12. Values Influenced from early on in our childhood – by the ‘big’ people. Attitudes and Beliefs Influenced by our values Feelings An internal response, related to our attitudes and beliefs Behaviour An external reaction to all of the above

13. Choose a babysitter CHARACTER A CHARACTER B

14. Choose a babysitter CHARACTER A CHARACTER B

15. Choose a babysitter CHARACTER A CHARACTER B

16. Sources of Power • Position Power • Resource Power • Information Power • Association Power • Expert Power • Personal Power

17. Personal Power • Being present • The power of positive questions • Efficiency vs. effectiveness • Interpersonal skills • Flexibility and adaptability • Commitment • Respect and trust • Knowledge base and expertise • Wide network

18. “In organisations, real power and energy is generated through relationships. The patterns of relationships and the capacities to form them are more important than tasks, functions, roles and positions”. Margaret Wheatley

20. Communication Style Preferences

21. Communication Style Preferences

22. Communication Style Preferences

23. Communication Style Preferences

24. Communication Style Preferences

25. Communication Style Preferences

26. Influencing Styles Action Style – Red • I say exactly what I want • I am impatient • I offer to make a deal • I am willing to give something in order to get something • I make clear demands and expectations

27. Influencing styles Process style – green • I put forward proposals and suggestions • I present clearly and calmly • I use facts to support my ideas • I am systematic and logical • I argue against opposing points of view

28. Influencing Styles Ideas Style – yellow • I identify common goals and values • I establish common ground with others • I communicate optimism and enthusiasm • I share my ambitions and dreams • I emphasise areas of agreement • I focus on future possibilities

29. Influencing Styles People Style – blue • I share information about my personal feelings • I express my hopes and fears • I ask for help when uncertain or confused • I test understanding of what others have said • I ask questions to seek more information • I draw others out to full understand their concerns,

30. Reflection and Action Thinking about communication style preferences …. • Which new approaches could you try to communicate with more influence?

31. A Listening Exercise • You will need a pen and a piece of paper • Work on your own – no comments or questions • Instructions once only • Follow instructions and do exactly what I say

32. Mummy Bull

34. Focus your energy Circle of Influence Circle of concern

35. E’sy Listening? EARS EVALUATION EYES EGO EXPERIENCE EMOTION EXPECTATION

36. Monroe’s Motivated Sequence • Step One: Get Attention • Step Two: Establish the Need • Step Three: Satisfy the Need • Step Four: Visualize the Future • Step Five: Inspire Action

37. Conflict – A Definition PEOPLES’ DIFFERENCES WORKING AGAINST EACH OTHER

38. Dealing with conflict Concern with own goals Concern with others’ needs

39. Dealing with conflict Competing Collaborating Assertive Compromising Avoiding Accommodating Non-Assertive Non-Co-operative Co-operative

40. Dealing with Conflict Competing Collaborating Assertive Compromising Avoiding Accommodating Non-Assertive Non-Co-operative Co-operative

41. Collaborate to Influence • What characteristics and behaviours would you expect in a collaborative relationship?

42. Useful Influencing Behaviours I openly express my feelings about the current situation I express my views and opinions backed by reasons, forcefully enough to be taken seriously I demonstrate listening by giving attention, reflecting data and feeling and summarising I use questions to increase understanding of your position I disclose personal and work information appropriate to the relevant situation I spell out the benefits or consequences of meeting … or not meeting my expectations I state what I want or what action I want taken I focus and build on common ground

43. Portraying Confidence Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

44. You CANNOT change other people, but you can communicate with influence