Parenting Coordination

1. Parenting Coordination Kenneth A. Gordon, Esq. Allyson Tomchin, LCSW

2. Facts • Florida is ranked 42nd in the nation as one of the states • with the highest rate of divorce. • Nevada is the highest; • Massachusetts is the lowest.

3. Facts • Percentage of married people who reach their 5th, 10th, and 15th anniversaries: • 5th:  82% • 10th:  65% • 15th:  52% • Percentage of married people who reached their 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversaries: • 25th:  33% • 35th:  20% • 50th:  5%

4. Parenting Coordination: Statute & Rules Florida Statute, § 61.125 Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, Rule 12.742 (Parenting Coordination) Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, Form 12.984 (Response by Parenting Coordinator) Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, Form 12.998 (Order of Referral to Parenting Coordinator)

5. 61.125 Parenting Coordination (1)  PURPOSE.--The purpose of parenting coordination is to provide a child-focused alternative dispute resolution process whereby a parenting coordinator assists the parents in creating or implementing a parenting plan by facilitating the resolution of disputes between the parents by providing education, making recommendations, and, with the prior approval of the parents and the court, making limited decisions within the scope of the court's order of referral. (2)  REFERRAL.--In any action in which a judgment or order has been sought or entered adopting, establishing, or modifying a parenting plan, except for a domestic violence proceeding under chapter 741, and upon agreement of the parties, the court's own motion, or the motion of a party, the court may appoint a parenting coordinator and refer the parties to parenting coordination to assist in the resolution of disputes concerning their parenting plan.

6. 61.125 Parenting Coordination Continued (3)  DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ISSUES.– (a)  If there has been a history of domestic violence, the court may not refer the parties to parenting coordination unless both parents consent. The court shall offer each party an opportunity to consult with an attorney or domestic violence advocate before accepting the party's consent. The court must determine whether each party's consent has been given freely and voluntarily. (4)  QUALIFICATIONS OF A PARENTING COORDINATOR.--A parenting coordinator is an impartial third person whose role is to assist the parents in successfully creating or implementing a parenting plan. Unless there is a written agreement between the parties, the court may appoint only a qualified parenting coordinator.

7. 61.125 Parenting Coordination Continued (a)  To be qualified, a parenting coordinator must: 1.  Meet one of the following professional requirements: a.  Be licensed as a mental health professional under chapter 490 or chapter 491. b.  Be licensed as a physician under chapter 458, with certification by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. c.  Be certified by the Florida Supreme Court as a family law mediator, with at least a master's degree in a mental health field. d.  Be a member in good standing of The Florida Bar.

8. 61.125 Parenting Coordination Continued 2.  Complete all of the following: a.  Three years of postlicensure or postcertification practice. b.  A family mediation training program certified by the Florida Supreme Court. c.  A minimum of 24 hours of parenting coordination training in parenting coordination concepts and ethics, family systems theory and application, family dynamics in separation and divorce, child and adolescent development, the parenting coordination process, parenting coordination techniques, and Florida family law and procedure, and a minimum of 4 hours of training in domestic violence and child abuse which is related to parenting coordination. (b)  The court may require additional qualifications to address issues specific to the parties.

9. 61.125 Parenting Coordination Continued (7)  CONFIDENTIALITY.--Except as otherwise provided in this section, all communications made by, between, or among the parties and the parenting coordinator during parenting coordination sessions are confidential. The parenting coordinator and each party designated in the order appointing the coordinator may not testify or offer evidence about communications made by, between, or among the parties and the parenting coordinator during parenting coordination sessions, except if: (a)  Necessary to identify, authenticate, confirm, or deny a written agreement entered into by the parties during parenting coordination; (b)  The testimony or evidence is necessary to identify an issue for resolution by the court without otherwise disclosing communications made by any party or the parenting coordinator;

10. 61.125 Parenting Coordination Continued (c)  The testimony or evidence is limited to the subject of a party's compliance with the order of referral to parenting coordination, orders for psychological evaluation, counseling ordered by the court or recommended by a health care provider, or for substance abuse testing or treatment; (d)  The parenting coordinator reports that the case is no longer appropriate for parenting coordination; (e)  The parenting coordinator is reporting that he or she is unable or unwilling to continue to serve and that a successor parenting coordinator should be appointed; (f)  The testimony or evidence is necessary pursuant to paragraph (5)(b) or subsection (8);

11. Rule 12.742. Parenting Coordination (a) Applicability. This rule applies to parenting coordination. (b) Order Referring Parties to Parenting Coordinator. An order referring the parties to a parenting coordinator must be in substantial compliance with Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure Form 12.998. The order must specify the role, responsibility, and authority of the parenting coordinator(c) Appointment of Parenting Coordinator. The parties may agree in writing on a parenting coordinator subject to the court’s approval. If the parties cannot agree on a parenting coordinator, the court shall appoint a parenting coordinator qualified by law.

12. Rule 12.742. Parenting Coordination Continued (d) Response by Parenting Coordinator. The parenting coordinator must file a response accepting or declining the appointment in substantial compliance with Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure Form 12.984.(e) Term of Service. The term of the parenting coordinator shall be as specified in the order of appointment or as extended by the court. The initial term of service shall not exceed two years. The court shall terminate the service on:

13. Instructions for Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure Form 12.984, Response by Parenting Coordinator (1/10) When should this form be used? A person appointed as a parenting coordinator must accept or decline the appointment under Florida Family Law Rule of Procedure 12.742(d). If you accept the appointment, you must complete paragraphs 1(a) and 2 and sign it. If you decline the appointment, you must complete only paragraph 1(b) and sign the form. This form should be typed or printed in black ink.

14. E X A M P L E IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE _____________________ JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ______________________________ COUNTY, FLORIDA Case No: ________________________ Division: ________________________ _________________________________, Petitioner, And _________________________________, Respondent. RESPONSE BY PARENTING COORDINATOR I, {name}_________________________________________notify the Court and affirm the following: 1. Acceptance. [Choose only one] ____ I accept the appointment as parenting coordinator. ____ I decline the appointment as parenting coordinator. 2. Qualifications. [Choose only one] ____ I meet the qualifications in section 61.125(4), Florida Statutes. ____ I do not meet the qualifications in section 61.125(4), Florida Statutes. However, the parties have chosen me by mutual consent and I believe I can perform the services of a parenting coordinator because: ____________________________________________________ 3. I am not aware of any conflict, circumstance, or reason that renders me unable to serve as the parenting coordinator in this matter and I will immediately inform the court and the parties if such arises. 4. I understand my role, responsibility, and authority under the Order of Referral to Parenting Coordinator, Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure Form 12.998 and section 61.125, Florida Statutes.

15. Case Law Wade v. Hirschman, 903 So. 2d 928 (Fla. 2005): The trial court did not abuse its discretion in modifying the parties’ custody agreement by concluding that there were substantial and material changes in circumstances, “including: evidence of parental alienation of the Father by the Mother; failure of the Mother to cooperate with the parenting coordinator and comply with the parenting agreement…”

16. Case Law Hastings v. Rigsbee, 875 So. 2d 772 (Fla. 2nd DCA 2004): “The primary evidence relied upon the trial court at the motion hearing was the report and testimony of the parenting coordinator. Because the parenting coordinator’s report and testimony were almost entirely hearsay, we conclude that this was error. Although expert witnesses are permitted to rely on hearsay evidence, such witnesses may not serve as a conduit for presenting that inadmissible evidence to the finder of fact.” “FN2. We note that information contained in a study conducted pursuant to section 61.20 may be considered by a trial court and, “the technical rules of evidence do not exclude the study from consideration.” This provision has no application in the instant case since the parenting coordinator was not acting under the authority of section 61.20.” F.S. § 61.20 – Social investigations and recommendations regarding a parenting plan.

17. Professional and Ethical Considerations and Parent Coordination 1. Florida Bar Rules of Professional Conduct (FRPC) 2. The Florida Bar, Family Law Section, Bounds of Advocacy: “It is difficult for family lawyers to represent the interests of their clients without addressing the interests of other family members”

18. FRPC Rule 4-4.1 TRUTHFULNESS IN STATEMENTS TO OTHERS In the course of representing a client a lawyer shall not knowingly: (a) make a false statement of material fact or law to a third person; or (b) fail to disclose a material fact to a third person when disclosure is necessary to avoid assisting a criminal or fraudulent act by a client, unless disclosure is prohibited by Rule 4-1.6. (Confidentiality of Information)

19. BOUNDS OF ADVOCACY: Goal 2.5 “An attorney should attempt to resolve family disputes by agreement and should consider all appropriate means of achieving resolution.”

20. BOUNDS OF ADVOCACY: Goal 7.1 “An attorney representing a parent should consider the welfare of the minor children and seek to minimize the adverse impact of the family law litigation on them.”

21. BOUNDS OF ADVOCACY: Goal 7.2 “An attorney should not permit a client to contest parental responsibility or contact and access for either financial leverage or vindictiveness.”

22. Custodial Vietnam Bundling of Time and Money is a Mistake Fence is Painful: 50/50 or Primary Residence

23. Parenting Coordination Purpose is to provide child-focused alternative dispute resolution by implementing parenting plan, providing education, making recommendations, and resolving disputes.

24. Children of Divorced Parents • Compared to • Children Who Grow Up in Intact Families • More likely to have difficulty in school • More sexually active • More aggressive • More anxious • More withdrawn • More depressed • More substance abuse and delinquent acts

25. Do Parents Want This Kid?

26. Or This Kid?

27. Nobody Wants This Kid!

28. Co-Parenting Conflict 20-25% of conflicted co-parenting relationships are characterized as perpetually conflicted. Interactions reflect intense disagreement, ineffectual communication and continued emotional attachmentto the former marital partner by one or both parents. Parent characterized by seeking anger, need to control, to wreak vengeance and to seek justice by legal actions. –Kelly 2006

29. Everyone Has to Learn • to Share

30. Children Are Not • Equipped With Zippers

31. Sharing of Time, Sharing of • Activities, Sharing of Communication

32. The Not So SECRET • Secrets to Success

33. Sharing Tip #1: • Communication

34. The Skill of Using • Your Filter She is such a whore! He is such a jackass! You cannot say whatever you want!!

35. Email • Child focused only • Font no larger than 12 • Use salutations • Use black ink only • Refrain from profanity • Refrain from personal feelings or emotions • Refrain from all caps.

36. What’s Wrong with This Email? ----- Forwarded Message ----From: Dad. Jones<djones@yahoo.com>To: AssHole <mjones@yahoo.com>Sent: Tue, March 2, 2010 8:55:34 PMSubject: Fwd:Mary,  I called within the agreed time and left a message. You did not return my call. John 

37. TELEPHONE • Keep it brief • Remain child focused • Remain calm • Say goodbye before hanging up • THINK BEFORE SENDING IM’S, E-MAILS, VOICEMAILS ETC

38. iPhone & Blackberry • Reaction On Thu, Mar 4, 2010 at 8:23 AM, janedoe <janedoe@me.com> wrote: You chose not to be here for your daughter, you are not going to make it up by making a scene cause Sally left her planner on the bus!Get off the case, your drugs and alcohol abuse seems to make every little event a big deal!Get off the wagon!Sent from my iPhoneJane DoeCell 305-333-3333

39. In Person • Be pleasant • Remain calm • Keep it brief • Use your greetings, say hello and goodbye • Remember if you have nothing nice to say….SAY NOTHING

40. DIVORCE DOESN’T TRAUMATIZE CHILDREN PARENTS DO!