Love and money in the couple relationship

1. Love and Money: How love can last through these troubled economic times. The Love Commands eBook can be your guide to forming relationships if you’re persistent in following through its content. You don’t necessarily have to be single to use this book; the Love Commands also contains useful tips and tricks on how to bring back the spark in your married life. There is no doubt that open and honest communication lays the foundation for healthy relationships​, which is why you should give this guide a try.

2. The Love Commands ​by Scott Foster is a program exclusively developed for women to win her the love she always craved. The Love Commands system boasts of offering certain techniques in the form of embedded commands that can supposedly make a man fall in love. By tapping into the hidden mind of men, these simple yet useful commands can rewire the brain so that they fall irresistibly in love with a woman. But are all these claims made by the author real? Is it really possible for any woman to attract any man they want? Keep on reading as we unravel the secret behind The Love Commands that is changing your love life. The Love Commands system ​is primarily a guide for women, advertised as sort of a “hack” to earn the affection of their dream man.Love Commands eBook It teaches women about certain laws that can make any man fall in love with them and even how to project their femininity and the sensuality for maximum effect.

3. This Love Commands guide places a lot of emphasis on how women should present themselves to a man because Scott understands and accepts that men like women who are stylish and presentable. The aspect of beauty does come in at a certain point of time, but it’s not the end-all-be-all of the Law of attraction. The Love Commands eBook preaches that you do not have to be the most beautiful woman in the world to have a fulfilling relationship. The science that goes behind the love commands technique has been heavily researched on by Scott Foster, who has been in the field of psychology for over 12 years. As you can understand, love commands program isn’t just another eBook with recycled garbage. Turn on the television or radio, read a newspaper or blog and you’ll get bombarded with messages about something that you may already know: we are in an economic slump. The ​relationship between love and money ​is challenging during the best of times. With rising unemployment, unmanageable debt, and no new credit to speak of, it is understandable to question whether or not love can survive through these troubled economic times. Most couples imagine that if they made more money, their money troubles would go away. They do not. The problems often become more expensive. So even if you and your partner make loads of money, why is it that you can still have so many conflicts around money? Let’s take a look.

4. I love you...I hate you...You're always there...You’re never around... What is your ​relationship with money​? Is money a kind friend or something that you only think about when it’s time to pay the bills? Picture the family you grew up in, what did you learn about money from the way your parents or caretakers managed money? It is important to understand your own relationship with money. Ask yourself: ● Am I a spender or a saver? ● Do I spend more if I am bored, angry, or depressed? ● What did I learn about money when I was growing up? ● Do I think focusing on money is “self-serving” or “greedy”? ● What is the primary feeling I have when I think about money? Compare your answers to these questions with your partner’s answers. Are they the same or very different?

5. Not Every Dollar has the Same Value: In any healthy relationship, there is a pattern of harmony and disharmony between all the working parts, and your relationship with money is no different. Problems arise not only in your own relationship with money but also because your partner has his or her unique relationship with money that may or may not be compatible with your own.

6. Relationship with Money: Five key elements: Directing – how you manage taking care of your money as it comes in and goes out. This includes everyday emotional and intellectual choices about spending, paying bills, tracking deposits, balancing the checkbook, and keeping a budget. Spending​ - how you spend your money, daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. Earning​ - how you earn money. Saving​ - how much money you hold onto. Investing​ – how you get your money to make you money. We all have attitudes about money that may hurt our ability to make wise decisions. Ask yourself: ● If there isn’t ever enough money, how do I save and invest? ● Do I manage my money, or is my spending or saving causing me to spin out of control? ● Even though I save, will there ever be enough money? ● Do I tend to overspend which causes me to under save and invest? ● Do I want to make more money so that I don’t have to examine or change my relationship with money? Why We Fight Over Money: Many fights take place not because of the amount of money spent, but because of the expectations couples have that they never really talk clearly about. Whether it's conflicting styles, or misaligned agendas, couples get rooted in their individual beliefs about money. These views make it difficult to see that their partner simply has a different ​history and relationship with money​.

7. Money is just pieces of paper which can represent power, a high or low self-worth, safety, and love. Put two people together with different ideas about money, and you have an unavoidable recipe for conflict. Here are some key reasons couples fight about money: Daily Financial Decisions: ​Since financial decisions have to be made almost daily, they can be a frequent source of disagreement. Let’s face it, managing money can feel like a burden. Power and Control: When it comes to money, one partner may be more focused on saving every penny while the other is focused on spending every penny. Both the saver and the spender often view money as a means of control and may believe that the person making or holding the most money has the last word on financial decisions. Buying into the idea that money equals power in a marriage can only cause greater conflict. Keeping Secrets, Financial Infidelity: What information about money do you keep hidden from your partner? Many couples that I see in my practice report that they didn’t fully talk about the dept they were carrying into marriage. This means they never talked about income, debt burden, student loans, inheritance, savings and credit status. Without full and open financial disclosure couples engage in maintaining secrets in the relationship that are damaging to the glue, which is trust, that holds the relationship together.

8. Tired of waiting for the love of your life? According to Scott Foster, The Love Commands influence on the part of the brain known as the insular cortex that’s responsible for generating feelings and emotions. As a result, the man of your affection will show an uncontrollable desire to love you and possess you. To round up the functions, The Love Commands will give you the following advantages: ● The Love Commands system provides a step-by-step action plan that stimulates you to stick with the plan with simple language. ● The Love Commands guidelines offered in this practical and relevant to the current dating and relationships scenario. ● The Love Commands is a complete program designed to improve intimacy even among long-term couples.

9. ● The Love Commands guide contains many practical pieces of advice that may help a woman in other areas of life. What’s inside Love Commands? This Love commands system that we speak of in this eBook should be effective for women of all ages. Inside of The Love Commands, you’ll find the following content: Candy Love Command: ​This part of the guide focuses on activating the natural part of a man’s brain that will turn you into eye candy. It doesn’t matter who you are, this command will teach you how to communicate so that the guy finds you irresistible in every way. Instant Love Birds Command: ​This command will make your dining feel that you are a complete package. A true lover, an incredible friend, and the soulmate they’ve all been waiting for their entire life. Rather than beating around the bush, you can use these commands to win his affection. The Knot of Commitment Command: ​This command is all about forging lifelong relationships. To become the person your man has always wanted, use this command to win over his love and show yourself that nobody can be a better wife or girlfriend than you. I Am Your Lady Command: ​take his feelings and intensify tenfold so that he becomes crazy obsessed with you. From now on, he will always long for your touch and to experience the moment when he finally gets to see you again. These are the four main commands of the love commands eBook. However, there are more such as Desire Reset Command, Total Devotion Command, Queen of Seduction command, etc.

10. Here are a few tips on keeping your connection strong while handling economic stress: The Precious Present: Focus on today, right now this moment. Future thoughts create anxiety and stress because of the unknown. Be mindful not to get caught in that trap. Keep your mind on what you have now and what you are doing now. Free Date Nights: ​Make your relationship a priority and schedule date nights. Be creative in finding ways to connect with one another without spending any money. Embrace the frugal “less is more” lifestyle. Visit frugal living sites like Frugalliving.com on the web and see what you two come up with! Create a Plan Together: One of my favorite sayings is “life hands us many opportunities to act without a plan (which can be very stressful) so when you can plan...Do!” Creating financial, work, life, or stress management plans helps to create a sense of direction and lowers anxiety. Sit down with your partner and make a plan together. Talk to Each Other: ​Difficult times often cause couples to isolate themselves from one another and keep quiet for fear of rocking the boat any further. During tough times it is more important than ever to keep the lines of communication open. It is okay to be fearful or upset…so hold onto one another, face the struggles together and talk. Getting confirmation that you aren’t alone can ease the stress and make the obstacles more manageable. Take a Helping Hand: ​Money issues are often ongoing problems that need management and solutions. Seeking the help of a counselor before it becomes a reason for divorce is worth the effort. It just might save your relationship.

11. The Love Commands eBook can be your guide to forming relationships if you’re persistent in following through its content. You don’t necessarily have to be single to use this book; ​the Love Commands also contains useful tips and tricks on how to bring back the spark in your married life. There is no doubt that open and honest communication lays the foundation for healthy relationships, which is why you should give this guide a try. The happiest couples have learned to communicate about money and manage it in positive ways. The ten points below will give you some tools and advice to increase the chances that your relationship will be a happy one! Here are some more ideas:

12. #1: Schedule talk time: Money is not a topic that gets easier the longer you ignore it. Even if your finances are in excellent shape, it doesn’t benefit one partner to be “out of the loop” if the other is managing the household finances and investments. (Actually, this is a recipe for disaster if the household finance manager dies or becomes disabled, or the couple gets divorced.) Making money matters a priority and schedule regular talk time. Put it on your calendar at least once a month, to make sure you aren’t avoiding a very important topic! Research suggests that couples who talk about money most often are much more likely to describe themselves as “extremely happy,” according to a ​Love & Money​ study by TD Bank. #2: Have regular financial check-ups and check-ins: Talk is great, but make sure you’re not neglecting the numbers! Do a regularly scheduled review of your finances, in black and white. It’s important that you SEE a snapshot of your family’s financial picture. Whether you use Mint.com, Quicken, Quickbooks, Excel, or even simply bank statements, monitor where your money is going and what it is doing. Depending on the complexity of your finances, this could happen monthly, quarterly, or (at the very least), once a year. If you have a bookkeeper or accountant, have them prepare regular statements and/or sit down with you. If there is a family business, look at monthly profit and loss statements. Monitor your investments at least quarterly. You can monitor most mortgages and life insurance policies annually. It’s not necessary to go into great detail, but it IS important to get an accurate snapshot of your finances so both partners understand what’s happening with their money. Tools such as our Prosperity Profile (we’ll have an updated version coming soon) can help you see your financial summary on a single page, which can be helpful!

13. #3: Transparency and honesty are required: When one partner is resistant to looking at financial facts and another resists revealing financial facts, it can be a huge warning sign. Just ask Barbara Stanny, whose father was the “R” in H & R Block. She grew up believing that making and managing money was “a man’s job,” and was advised by her father not to worry about money. That was fine with Barbara, until she found out her stockbroker husband was a compulsive gambler who was gambling away her inheritance! After their divorce, he left the country and left her with tax bills for over a million dollars (and no money to pay them.) Lying about money can have catastrophic financial consequences, and perhaps even worse, it breaks down trust in a relationship. It’s known as “financial infidelity,” and if you see signs of it in your relationship, don’t ignore them. You may need a good accountant AND a marriage counselor! Just as some relationships recover from infidelity, if trust can be rebuilt, ​relationships can survive financial infidelity. #4: Understand your partner’s financial style:

14. If opposites attract, this can spell trouble when it comes to understanding how your partner deals with money! According to the Ameriprise study, 73% of individuals have money management styles that are different from their partner’s. Perhaps one admires the other’s prudent discipline in saving, and the other admires their loved one’s generosity. It’s all well and good until you merge your money! A helpful tool is the money styles quiz you’ll find at MoneyHarmony.com. Are you a spender, hoarder, money monk or an amasser? Take the quiz separately before revealing your results. To dive in more deeply, read Money Harmony: A Road Map for Individuals and Couples, by Olivia Mellan and Sherry Christie. The online quiz is based on chapter 4, which gives more details about each of the money types. #5: Use your partner’s strengths: Not everyone has the same gifts and interests. One partner may be better with detailed bookkeeping, while the other can evaluate investment risk or negotiate a better deal on a car. One may be more entrepreneurial-minded, while the other may bring a steady, disciplined approach to the family finances. Oftentimes, one partner focuses on earning and the other on ways to save money. Both are valuable and needed! Our relationship has benefitted from knowing each other’s Kolbe profiles, available at Kolbe.com. (Do you know your Kolbe scores? I’ve been trained in Kolbe and am happy to discuss this with clients!) #6: Know your partner’s financial priorities: They’re probably different from yours! This can make ​money and relationships a challenge. You can even have the same money style, but very different financial priorities.

15. Case in point: my husband Todd is a “foodie.” He has no food budget. While I can be perfectly happy guzzling a protein shake to fuel my body, my husband would be miserable if he couldn’t grill steaks on the barbeque or enjoy occasional nice dinners out. Meanwhile, I have no problems investing in myself and my business, spending sums that would make many people hesitate. (Fortunately, Todd supports me in this.) Understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” answer; it’s all about understanding priorities. Hopefully, you can agree what is a “necessity” and what is a “want.” Then, once basic needs are covered, understand that their wants may be different from yours. #9: Saving saves more than money; it saves families, too! Financial stress makes both ​money and relationships harder. Many couples have conflicts because they have too much money at the end of the money! Some couples have conflicts because the partner making the investment decisions took risks that didn’t pay off. There are hundreds of things that can increase a family’s financial stress, and one sure cure to lower it: saving money.

16. Some of us have taken vows to love each other “through good times and bad… for richer or poorer.” But we all know that “for poorer” can be a difficult road, and financial stress is a challenge for relationships. When a couple has a healthy emergency fund, they can take an unexpected major expense, disruption in income or economic downturn in stride. When cash is low, anxiety can run high. So protect your relationship by saving regularly and protecting your money! #10: Prepare each other for worst case scenarios: My husband and I use high cash value whole life insurance for our emergency (and opportunity) fund because it disciplines us to save monthly, with flexibility when needed. Gains are locked in to weather economic storms or market crashes. It gives us money to capitalize on opportunities. And perhaps most importantly, permanent life insurance leaves each of us protected in worst-case scenarios. Losing a partner (a child, a parent) is devastating, and when actions aren’t taken to protect the surviving partner from financial disruption on top of emotional losses, something critical is missing from the family’s financial strategy. Just because we promise to love each other “till death do us part” doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care what happens to the survivor when—sooner or later—death actually parts us. And for some couples, parting doesn’t happen quickly. There may be a disability to contend with, long-term care needed or a terminal illness. There are whole life insurance riders that can help a couple prepare for ALL of these possibilities. For my husband and myself, it was a no-brainer to prepare ourselves with life insurance, especially as the money won’t be “lost” (as is the case with many long-term care plans) if care is not needed. (And of course, we like to think positively!)

17. Money and Relationships: The Bottom Line How we handle our finances can be an expression of our love for each other. It can build trust, increase communication, help us become more disciplined, more understanding, and think long-term about our relationship. Stressed about money and not how to communicate about it? See it as the grand opportunity that it is! Finally, get and take the advice of someone you trust to guide you through financial landmines. We are your Partners for Prosperity, and we are here to help! Whether it is an investment strategy that won’t leave you fretting about the market or life insurance policies that prepare you for both the good and the bad, we look forward to serving you. Contact us today.

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