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THE. Keys to a Healthy Marriage Debra Singleton, LCSW. Seminar Goals. Learn the myths about marriage Learn the stages of marriage Learn what behaviors lead to marital conflict and divorce Learn the keys to creating and maintaining a healthy relationship Know the benefits of your EAP .
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THE Keys to a Healthy Marriage Debra Singleton, LCSW
Seminar Goals • Learn the myths about marriage • Learn the stages of marriage • Learn what behaviors lead to marital conflict and divorce • Learn the keys to creating and maintaining a healthy relationship • Know the benefits of your EAP
Common Myths • Individuals with hangups or personality problems ruin marriages • Common interests keep a marriage together • A good marriage is 50/50 • Avoiding conflict will cause bigger problems From The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and Nan Silver (continued)
Common Myths (cont.) • Affairs cause divorce. • Men are not biologically “built” for marriage. • Gender differences cause marriages to fail.
5 Stages of Marriage • Romantic love • Disillusionment/the power struggle • Knowledge and awareness • Transformation • Real love From Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendricks
What Leads to Divorce? • Harsh startup to complaint • Criticism • Contempt • Defensiveness From Gottman and Silver (continued)
What Leads to Divorce? (cont.) • Stonewalling • Flooding • Failed repair attempts • Bad memories
Principles of a Healthy Relationship • Know your spouse • Remember what you honor and respect about your partner • Turn toward each other instead of away. • Let your partner influence you From The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work (continued)
Principles of a Healthy Relationship (cont.) • Solve the solvable issues • Overcome gridlock • Create shared meaning
Benefits of the EAP • Confidential • Prepaid • Available 24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week • Appointment Offered Within 48 Hours • Telephonic consultation available • Household Benefit • Child care, elder care, and legal concerns