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Why Can’t You Be Normal Like Me?

Why Can’t You Be Normal Like Me?. Harold Kurstedt Newport Group, LLC for PMI Montgomery County, MD Chapter September 8, 2005 . Successful project managers must play many roles. Supervisor Leader Coach and team builder Problem solver Salesperson Politician and conflict resolver

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Why Can’t You Be Normal Like Me?

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  1. Why Can’t You Be NormalLike Me? Harold Kurstedt Newport Group, LLCforPMIMontgomery County, MDChapterSeptember 8, 2005

  2. Successful project managers must play many roles. • Supervisor • Leader • Coach and team builder • Problem solver • Salesperson • Politician and conflict resolver • Negotiator • Communicator • Technician – tools and techniques • Which are people-oriented?

  3. We’re each individually and wonderfully made. • Individually – Gifts differing • Wonderfully – valued contribution • Meyers Briggs and information processing • Additional differences • Gender – Deborah Tannen • Ethnicity – country of origin • Family size • Etc.

  4. The MBTI includes four dimensions focusing on information processing. • Extrovert (E) versus Introvert (I) • Where we get our energy (outside versus inside) • Intuitive (N) versus Sensing (S) • How we like to perceive information • Thinking (T) versus Feeling (F) • How we like to process and act on information • Perceptive (P) versus Judgmental (J) • Whether we’d rather perceive or process information

  5. I’m normal. Are you? • Are you really normal? What’s normal? • We expect others to be and think just like we are and do. • Wrong ! ! • We’ll consider just a couple of differences tonight.

  6. Systemic misunderstandingsusually lead to assigning fault. I need six volunteers.

  7. Systemic misunderstandingsusually lead to assigning fault. (cont.) • Write down who is most at fault in the skit and why that person is most at fault. • No generalizations, no corrections, no problem solving.

  8. Your mental models affectyour thoughts and feelingsabout actions. ACTIONS PARADIGM MENTAL MODELS SENSORY DATA FRAME OF REFERENCE FILTER THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (Total of life’s experiences)

  9. Your mental models define how you see and deal with the world. • Paradigms • Frames of reference • Filters • Deeply ingrained assumptions • Generalizations • A system of mental models

  10. We display our preferredsocial style. Analytical Driver task ask tell Responsiveness people Amiable Expressive Assertiveness

  11. In meetings, do you show “tell”or “ask” assertiveness? TELL (Driver, Expressive) • Statements • Faster pace (speaking, moving, thinking) • Greater risk acceptance • Stimulated by conflict ASK (Analytical, Amiable) • Questions • Slower pace • Lesser risk acceptance • Avoid conflict

  12. In meetings, do you show “task”or “people” responsiveness? TASK (control) (Driver, Analytical) • Consider tasks / facts • Logical • Closed body language • Show fewer feelings PEOPLE (emote) (Expressive, Amiable) • Consider relationships • Intuitive • Open body language • Show more feelings Dislike meetings Like meetings

  13. We display our preferredsocial style. Analytical Driver task ask tell Responsiveness people Amiable Expressive Assertiveness

  14. Treat different people differently. ANALYTICAL AMIABLE DRIVER EXPRESSIVE PRIMARY ASSET Systematic Supportive Controlling Focused Energizing BACK-UP BEHAVIOR Avoiding Acquiescing Autocratic Attacking Decide Initiate Listen Check Follow through NEEDED FOR GROWTH Respect for work completed Approval Appreciation Results Autonomy Control Recognition Status MOTIVATORS HOW problem is solved WHY solution is best WHAT solution will do (WHEN) WHO else has used BENEFITS ANSWER Data and evidence History Assurances and guarantees Options and probabilities Testimony and incentives NEEDS FOR DECISIONS

  15. Consider the example ofthe systems versussoftware engineer. • Focus – whole versus parts • Cycle time – long versus short • Expectations – customer versus supplier • Orientation – problem versus solution • If you’re interested in all nine differences, I can provide detailed discussion.

  16. Do Yogi Berra’s aphorisms make sense to you? • It ain’t over till it’s over. • It’s dega vu all over again. • If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be. • If you come to a fork in the road, take it. • Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore, it’s too crowded. • It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future. • In theory there’s no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. • You can see a lot by observing. • Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

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