Domestic Violence Training for New Staff and Volunteers

1. Domestic Violence Training for New Staff and Volunteers

2. The context for our work Self care and other practices that sustain us What it means to experience domestic violence Perpetrators of domestic violence Responding to domestic violence–what we do Responding to domestic violence–how we do it Legal issues related to domestic violence Exploring

3. Battered women Victims of violence Survivors Domestic violence Intimate partner violence Violence against women Family violence The context for our work The language we use What does it mean to use inclusive language?

4. The context for our work The battered women’s movement • Second wave of feminism in the 1960s and 1970s. • Influenced by the civil rights and anti-war movements. • Used “battered women” to break through historic euphemisms. • Consciousness-raising groups: a safe way to share experiences. • Survivors created safe havens and communities of support. • These led to the first publicly funded shelters for battered women and their children.

5. The roots of intimate partner violence Unequal power Unequal power between men and women is the context in which heterosexual battering exists. It is also the context in which most Americans grow up. A relationship model in which one party holds greater power and control provides the foundation for GLBT battering.

6. The roots of intimate partner violence Patriarchy—or male domination Patriarchy or male domination is the social structure underlying nearly every culture around the world. It dictates that men, by virtue of their gender, are entitled to control women and children. There are many different traditions in cultures around the world that keep women from attaining social and economic independence and thus maintain patriarchy. Violence against women is one of the most powerful of these.

7. The roots of intimate partner violence Racism Racism in the United States continues to put communities of color at risk, disproportionately burdening them with unemployment, poverty, and poor health outcomes compared to white people. Risks may be exacerbated for families experiencing domestic violence.

8. The roots of intimate partner violence A violation of basic human rights • It has been observed that “the concept of human rights is one of the few moral visions ascribed to internationally.” • Domestic violence violates the principles that lie at the heart of this moral vision: the inherent dignity and worth of all members of the human family, the inalienable right to freedom from fear and want, and the equal rights of men and women.

9. The roots of intimate partner violence Impact of the media • The media portray family and community violence as commonplace, if not normative. • One report estimates that a child who was two years old in 1993 would have witnessed 7,000 murders on television by seven years of age. • That same child would have been exposed to 100,000 televised acts of interpersonal violence by high school graduation. • Repeated exposure desensitizes viewers because the pain and other effects of violence are minimized or not shown.

10. The context for our work Approaches to domestic violence • The battered women’s movement • Domestic violence is rooted in gender inequality. • A feminist, survivor-driven, empowerment-based movement • A social justice and anti-oppression approach • Institutional racism, classism, and homophobia reinforce unequal power in relationships. • To end domestic violence, work for social justice and an end to institutional oppression.

11. The context for our work Approaches to domestic violence • A human rights approach • Domestic violence is a public (as opposed to private) issue requiring a public (as opposed to private) response. • A public health approach • Focuses on the prevalence, health impact, and societal costs of partner violence. • Prevention is the key to responding to these impacts and costs.

12. Incorporating perspectives of survivors The context for our work • “I’m a formerly battered woman and a survivor of incest, and I’m not a victim and I’m not a client. I’m a woman in this struggle.” For Shelter and Beyond • “Today I am more than a survivor.... I have learned to love others and myself...I continue on my healing journey and take great pride in who I am as an Indian and a lesbian. I advocate for women and children who have the right to be safe.” KJ, “Sharing My Story,” in Same-Sex Domestic Violence – Strategies for Change

13. The context for our work The roles of men • Men are working alongside women in organizations historically run and operated solely by women. • Local and national campaigns • Educate men and boys about domestic violence. • Form alliances with battered women’s organizations. • Work to create a future “with no violence against women.” The White Ribbon Campaign

14. The context for our work Some principles to guide our work • Race, class, and culture impact the way people experience domestic violence. • Our own race, class, and cultural experiences influence how we do the work. • These are lifelong explorations.

15. The context for our work Race and racism • We have been taught that there are naturally occurring and clear differences between people that describe distinct groups such as Black, White, and Asian. • Science has shown that these beliefs and assumptions are incorrect. • These beliefs serve no useful purpose but create false senses of separation and eventually false notions of superiority and inferiority. This is what racism is.

16. If race is a myth, why not ignore it? • Racially motivated stereotypes have given rise to inequalities that pose “the greatest barrier to equitable opportunities and results” for people of color in this country. • These barriers can only be dismantled if we recognize their existence and work consciously to address them in all aspects of our work. Race Matters: How to Talk about Race, The Annie E. Casey Foundation

17. Understanding racism • Racism An ideological system of oppression...based upon unfounded beliefs (prejudices) about racial or ethnic inequality • Prejudice An unjustifiable...attitude held by an individual or group toward another group and its members...usually based on unsupported generalizations (stereotypes) that deny recognition of individual members of the other group • Privilege An invisible package of unearned advantages and benefits that people inherit based on their membership in a society’s dominant group Adapted from the Community Builder’s Tool Kit

18. Institutional racism Institutional racism refers to the differential access to the resources, goods, and services of society due to differential educational, financial, recreational, and social opportunities by racial identity. Given that mainstream domestic violence response models were based primarily on the experiences of white, middle class women, services and response systems may not be equally appropriate for, or available to, women, men, and children of color. The Boston Public Health Commission

19. Class issuesThe myth of upward mobility The American dream Economic success and social achievement are available to any one who follows the rules and works hard. The American reality Most children who are born to poor families remain poor all their lives. Children born into middle class families almost never move beyond that class.

20. An expansive definition of “culture” ...the shared experiences that develop and evolve according to changing social and political landscapes. It includes race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, class, immigration, location, time, and other axes of identification understood within the historical context of oppression. CultureHandbook, the Family Violence Prevention Fund

21. Principles of culturally competent domestic violence services • Be mindful of personal biases and prejudices. • Recognize our own histories and our experiences in relation to those we serve. • Acknowledge the power we have over the lives of those we serve. • Celebrate the diverse values we bring to the work. • Learn about the cultural contexts in which survivors meet us.

22. Reflecting on cultural complexity As a Black, lesbian, feminist, socialist, poet, mother of two including one boy and a member of an interracial couple, I usually find myself part of some group in which the majority defines me as deviant, difficult, inferior, or just plain ‘wrong.’ I simply do not believe that one aspect of myself can possibly profit from the oppression of any other part of my identity. From my membership in all of these groups I have learned that oppression and the intolerance of difference come in all shapes and sizes and colors and sexualities; and that among those of us who share the goals of liberation and a workable future for our children, there can be no hierarchies of oppression.” Audre Lorde

23. Prevention How we work to prevent intimate partner violence • Provide community education on domestic violence and our services. • Participate in community efforts to develop inclusive, holistic responses to intimate partner violence. • Provide direct services to survivors in ways that educate and empower those we serve.

24. Prevention A community-building perspective • Help community members prioritize family violence. • Support strategies that do not stigmatize people as “abused” or “abusers.” • Remember that communities mobilize within their own cultural contexts. • Explore ways to hold perpetrators accountable without relying too heavily on either the criminal justice or child welfare systems. • Build the capacity of individuals to intervene with family members and friends. Preventing Family Violence: Community Engagement Makes the Difference Family Violence Prevention Fund

25. Secondary traumatic stress STS [secondary traumatic stress] ... is a normal and universal response to abnormal (violence induced) ... events. The enduring or negative effects of this response, however, can be prevented from developing into a disorder (STSD). Janet Yassen, “Preventing Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder,” in Compassion Fatigue, Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in Those Who Treat the Traumatized

26. The nature of the work Personal history Current life events Fear of the unknown Cumulative exposure Secondary traumatic stress • Decreased energy • Disconnection • Numbing • Hopelessness • Cynicism • Anger • Nightmares Signs Contributing factors

27. Secondary traumatic stress disorder The price we pay if we do not attend to secondary traumatic stress: • Compassion fatigue • Burnout

28. Physical activities Psychological or emotional care Attention to our spiritual needs that promote a feeling of well-being that promotes mental balance to remind us of our connections to nature and to people Preventing secondary traumatic stress disorder Practicing self care • Engaging in social activism

29. Preventing secondary traumatic stress disorder Maintaining boundaries • Boundaries are unspoken limits in relationships between those who provide services and those who receive services. • Maintaining boundaries gives those we serve a real sense of safety—they can focus completely on their own needs. • Boundaries remind us that our power to guarantee safety is limited—the survivor is in charge of her or his life. • Boundaries remind us of the power differential that is inherent in our relationships with survivors—they help keep the power in balance.

30. Preventing secondary traumatic stress disorder Receiving quality supervision Quality supervision helps prevent STSD: • When it is prioritized and guaranteed. • When it provides ongoing and structured support. • When it helps us to be accountable for our work on behalf of others and to ourselves.

31. What it means to experience domestic violence • In some ways, the experience of domestic violence is universal. • In some ways the experience of domestic violence is particular to the communities and cultures in which the violence strikes. • Understanding this is a cornerstone of an empowering and trauma-informed response.

32. Defining domestic violence • Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviors that one person uses over another to gain power and control. • Domestic violence exists along a continuum that includes: • Verbal abuse • Emotional and psychological abuse • Physical abuse • Sexual abuse

33. Types of abuse Verbal abuse • Constant criticism • Belittling of one's abilities and competency • Insults • Put downs • Name calling Verbal abuse takes many forms • Threats • Direct threats of harm to the victim • Threats to harm or leave with the children • Threats to relatives or friends

34. Types of abuse Emotional, mental, and psychological abuse Emotional, mental, and psychological abuse include: • Controlling access to friends, school, work, or family • Forced isolation and imprisonment • Intimidation • Using and manipulating a person’s fear of physical harm • Threats to harm others • Threats of suicide

35. Slapping Hitting Biting, Kicking Punching Use of objects to inflict pain and injury Choking Pushing Types of abuse Physical abuse Physical abuse includes: inflicting, attempting to inflict, or threats to inflict physical injury, such as: Physical abuse is almost always coupled with verbal and emotional abuse.

36. Unwanted fondling Rape Oral or anal sodomy Treating a person in a sexually derogatory manner Forced pregnancy or abortion Inappropriate touch Intercourse Attacks on sexual areas of the body Use of objects or weapons The withholding of contraceptive methods Types of abuse Sexual abuse Sexual abuse includes any sexual contact without consent or any exploitive or coercive sexual contact

37. Teen dating violence • Reciprocal use of non-sexual violence among teens appears to be common. • Teen females sustain much more sexual violence than teen males. • The more community violence, the more likely there is to be dating violence against female teens. • GLBT youth in same-sex dating relationships are as likely as heterosexual youth to experience dating violence. • As minors, teens face barriers to accessing confidential services.

38. Domestic violence among elders • The longer the relationship the harder it can be to imagine a life apart from the batterer. • Judges may hesitate to order an elderly perpetrator to leave the family residence. • Adult children may conspire to protect the parent batterer and/or minimize the impact of the violence. • Our elder protective services law mandates reporting of suspected abuse of an elder by a caretaker. • Shelter services for frail abused elders may not be adequate to meet elders' needs for accessible services.

39. Trafficking and sex work • Individuals who have been forced into sex work have needs similar to those who survive sexual and domestic violence. • Many have had to endure extreme forms of physical and mental abuse—including rape, torture, and starvation. • Violence is the norm for those in prostitution.

40. Violence against people with disabilities • Personal caregivers can abuse people with disabilities in unique ways. They might:  Withhold medication, personal care, or medical equipment.  Refuse to fix meals or feed the person.  Withhold access to communication such as interpreters and TTY. • Dependence on the perpetrator can increase vulnerability. • A person with disabilities may be economically dependent on the abuser. • Accessible shelter can be difficult (or impossible) to locate.

41. Domestic violence in GLBT communities • The threat to reveal the partner's orientation to family or to an employer can result in job loss and the destruction of life-long relationships. • Historic homo/bi/transphobia of law enforcement can leave GLBT victims of violence believing that the police will not help them to secure safety. • Courts do not necessarily enforce laws uniformly—though gay and lesbian people have some legal rights. Knowing this, many GLBT people hesitate to turn to the legal system for protection from abuse.

42. Domestic violence in communities of color • This country’s history of violence against communities of color can leave victims of violence doubting whether that system is able or willing to respond to violence perpetrated by one person of color against another. • Black women who are battered may find themselves in an exceptionally difficult position within the Black community. “The images and expectations of African-American women are actually both super- and sub-human. This conflict has created myths and stereotypes that cause confusion about our own identity and make us targets for abuse.” Evelyn C. White, Chain Chain Change

43. Domestic violence in immigrant communities • Legal protection Immigrants too often assume that the law is not available to protect them from abuse. • Distrust of government and law enforcement Some immigrants have come to the U.S. following experiences of brutality in their countries of origin. They may be deeply distrustful of government in general and of law enforcement in particular.

44. Domestic violence in immigrant communities • Fear of deportation Fear can keep a non-citizen victim of violence from seeking help. • Language and culture Domestic violence agencies/organizations may not have staff or volunteers who are able to connect with a person whose first language is other than English and whose first culture is other than North American.

45. Common myths about domestic violence • Drugs and/or alcohol cause abuse to occur. • Stress (problems at work, financial problems, and so forth) causes abuse. • Only people of color and poor people are abusive in intimate relationships. • When violence happens in relationships, the victim has usually provoked it. • Abuse is a momentary loss of control. • Abuse rarely results in serious injury. • Abuse in an intimate relationship is a private matter and others should not interfere. • There is no such thing as marital rape.

46. Challenges to leaving a violent relationship • Leaving can be dangerous • The hope for change is strong • Isolation • Societal denial • Economic dependence • Threats of retaliation Leaving is a process

47. Domestic violence and sexual assault • Sexual assault is any sexual activity that is forced or coerced. • Rape, as defined by Massachusetts law, has three elements:  There must be penetration.  There must be force or the threat of force.  The act must be against the will of the victim. • Sexual assault is one of the ways in which perpetrators abuse their partners—it is not separate from domestic violence. • The fact that the vast majority of sexual assault survivors know the perpetrator means that sexual assault is a common component of intimate partner violence.

48. Society's myths and misconceptions about sexual assault are pervasive • When rape happens it usually happens to someone who is in some way to blame. • Women secretly fantasize about being raped. • Once a man is sexually aroused, he is unable to control himself. These myths are part of the complex dynamics contributing to a victim's belief that reporting rape is a fruitless undertaking.

49. The impact of domestic violence on adults who are battered • They have fear of being battered again. • Economic dependence keeps victims in abusive relationships. • Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, more significant that auto accidents, rapes, or muggings. • Psychological harms include:  Low self-esteem  Depression  Post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD)

50. Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) PTSD is caused by an overwhelming life experience that is not digestible—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—and that impacts the body, the mind, and the spirit.