Biblical Crisis Defusing

1. Crisis Defusing A Biblical Case Approach Bukal Life Care 2020

2. II Corinthians 1:4 • “He (God) comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God” • God comforts us in our suffering and out of that comfort we can comfort others.

3. So today, let's consider two examples from the Bible • The first is a “bad example” • The second is a “good example” • We can learn from both

4. “Bad Example”: Job's Friends • Job suffered devastating trauma • Loss of property & servants • Loss of family members • Loss of health • Job's friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar came “to offer sympathy and comfort to him.” (Job 2:11)

5. Job's Friends: A Good Start • Step One. Demonstrated Empathy-- weeping, tearing robes, throwing dust on their heads (culturally appropriate mourning) • Step Two. Quietly sat with Job for 7 days (Ministry of Presence and Ministry of Silence)

6. Job's Friends: Problems Start • Step Three. Job's friends listened to his complaints and confusion. • Step Four. Job's friends stop listening and started talking This is where things go bad. What were some of things they did that were bad?

7. Five Bad Things • They blamed Job for his problems, even though they did not really know why bad things were happening. (Form of victim blaming) • They defended God, even though God doesn't really need defending. (In fact, God doesn't really defend Himself in the book of Job.) • They argued with Job, making things worse. • They implied that the three of them were bettter than Job, since they were not suffering. • They claimed that they knew how to “fix” things. But they did not know how to fix things.

8. God's response to Job's Friends Speaking to Eliphaz, God said,“I am angry with you, and your two friends, for you have not spoken the truth about Me, as My servant Job has. …. go to My servant Job, and offer a burnt offering for yourselves. Then My servant Job will pray for you. I will surely accept his prayer and not deal with you as your folly deserves.” To provide crisis care wrongly or poorly is actually a sin.

9. Case 2: God and Elijah, I Kings 19 • Elijah was going through a crisis. • Physically worn out. • Emotionally fearful. • Socially disconnected. • Spiritually drained. (wasted life) • Today we might say that Elijah is suffering from burnout, or perhaps post-traumatic stress.

10. So what were the steps here? • Step 1. Safety and Security. Elijah needed physical safety (away from the Northern Kingdom), Emotional security (feeling safe in a cave far from his enemies), and Spiritual refuge (at Mount Horeb/Sinai--- the mountain of God). • God does not interfere with this except when Elijah was so depressed that he appeared to want to die. At that point God sent an angel to give him food, drink, rest, and encouragement to finish the journey. <Note: God did not rush the intervention.>

11. So what were the steps here? • Step 2. Ventilation. God asks Elijah what he is doing on Mount Horeb. Elijah ventilates (expresses his story and feelings). • Elijah says that he has been a faithful servant of God but he feels like a failure, sees himself as alone, and hunted by the enemy. • God listens without Judging, Arguing, or Being Defensive. • God goes through this process with Elijah twice.

12. So what were the steps here? • Step 3. Preparation. God moves Elijah away from a stressful past towards a “New Normal.” • God appears to agree, in part, with Elijah's complaint. Elijah needs to rest, and he needs help. • Only at the end does God tell Elijah that one of his beliefs is faulty--- Elijah is NOT a failure. • Elijah's new normal--- Smaller tasks, not alone, and not useless.

13. Some Lessons. Three Stages • 1. Safety and Security. Help the survivor get to a place of being safe and secure--- physical safety with basic needs met. Emotional safety and information needed. • 2. Ventilation and Validation. Help the survivor express their feelings/hurts and gain a sense of what they have been going through. This should be done non-judmentally, and without defensiveness or argument. It is THEIR STORY. Help them understand that what they are feeling is a normal response to abnormal circumstances.

14. Some Lessons. Three Stages • 3. Prediction and Preparation to reorganize their lives. Things have changed and there is no going back. But there is hope for a “new normal” with different joys and new purposes. • One can help the survivor start taking BABY STEPS towards moving to some semblance of order.

15. Thou Shalts • Give the gift of TIME • Actively listen---- demonstrating interest, focusing your attention on them, trying to understand what they are sharing. • Empathize (try to understand cognitively and emotionally what it would be like to be in their situation). • Help them understand that their topsy-turvy feelings are normal under the circumstances. • Become comfortable with uncomfortable emotions.

16. Thou Shalt Nots • Don't pretend to be an expert on what they are going through, why things happen, or what God's will is. • Don't talk (much). They need to talk. You need to listen. • Don't push them to make radical changes. Demonstrate God's love through actions, not adding another stress on them. • Don't Retraumatize by trying to get them to “relive” the experience.

17. Confidentiality • DO MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY. • Let them know you will protect their privacy. It is their story to share... not yours. • This is part of your providing emotional safety for them. • Relatedly, this is not a “photo op.” No pictures or screen captures.

18. Assessment • Hearing the story will help you assess the needs and the strengths of each person (Strengths include their resilience…how they have managed crisis in times past…). • Listen each time as though it is the first time you heard the story. Honor their story. It is theirs, not yours. • Assess strengths…support system available to the survivor (including social support system). • Assess spiritual beliefs/source of strength • Avoid bumper sticker theology. “Let go, and let God.” “God will make a way.”

19. Assessment. Remember Jesus on the Road to Emmaus • Luke 24:13-24 • Jesus walked with, spent time with, questioned Cleopas and his friend, and listened them share their story and sadness. • Although Jesus knew the situation far more than they, He did not respond until they had finished telling their story and feelings.

20. Defusing: 1-on-1 or small group discussion of a traumatic event. • Usually less formally structured than debriefing • Held immediately after an incident • Designed to reduce tension (“defusing the stormy emotions”) • More focused on feelings of the crisis and reactions, rather than on facts or lessons learned. • Identify those in need of follow-up/referral (such as those with flat affect.)

21. Other Crisis Intervention Models • Red Cross adaptation of CISD: Multiple Stressor Debriefing Model • National Organization of Victim Assistance (NOVA): Safety and security, ventilation and validation, prediction and preparation • Psychological First Aid (PFA) • Operational Stress First Aid (OSFA)

22. Other References • “Crisis Care Chaplain Training Manual.” Virginia Baptist Disaster Relief, 2007. • “Divine Intervention: The Flight of Elijah in Dialogue with Crisis Care” by Robert H. Munson, Bukal Life Care Journal, 2012. • “The Art of Pastoral Care” by Robert and Celia Munson, Bukal Life Care 2016 • “Disaster and Crisis: Social Work Responses to the Impact of World Events.” Presentation by Helen Wilson Harris, 2014.