Return and Reunion Workshop for Spouses

1. Return and Reunion Workshop for Spouses Marine Corps Family Team Building Camp Lejeune, NC Welcome Spouses IntroductionsWelcome Spouses Introductions

2. Home Coming is Here: Communication Combat Stress Reintegration Expectations As we prepare for home coming there are many things that we will think about. Many times, the pre-home coming can feel similar to the pre-deployment. - feeling different emotions - waiting for the day - feeling like things are just not going right. In our workshop today, we are going to discuss several different areas that are affected and have an affect on home comings. Communication Combat Stress Reintegration Expectations As we prepare for home coming there are many things that we will think about. Many times, the pre-home coming can feel similar to the pre-deployment. - feeling different emotions - waiting for the day - feeling like things are just not going right. In our workshop today, we are going to discuss several different areas that are affected and have an affect on home comings. Communication Combat Stress Reintegration Expectations

3. COMMUNICATION We have experienced many different types of communication during the last few months, except one – Face to Face. Personal activity – List several factors that you may experience with face to face communication. Discuss these as a large group. Personal Activity – list several things that you want to talk about when they get home. Discuss these as a large group.We have experienced many different types of communication during the last few months, except one – Face to Face. Personal activity – List several factors that you may experience with face to face communication. Discuss these as a large group. Personal Activity – list several things that you want to talk about when they get home. Discuss these as a large group.

4. Communication Remember Face to Face Dialogue is different then the communication you have experienced over the last few months. Read slide.Read slide.

5. Communication – What are the different types of Communication? We have Verbal – what we say; we have non-verbal – what our body says; and Tone – how we say it. These 3 factors play a role in communication. What part of our communication is non-verbal? 55 What part is tone? 38 What part is Verbal? 7 So now that we are experiencing face to face communication, we need to be aware of these factors. We also need to realize that our communication is comprised of 4 parts Sender Receiver Signal Environment Discuss these points. Communication – What are the different types of Communication? We have Verbal – what we say; we have non-verbal – what our body says; and Tone – how we say it. These 3 factors play a role in communication. What part of our communication is non-verbal? 55 What part is tone? 38 What part is Verbal? 7 So now that we are experiencing face to face communication, we need to be aware of these factors. We also need to realize that our communication is comprised of 4 parts Sender Receiver Signal Environment Discuss these points.

6. Take Time to Communicate: Don’t try to catch up on the past few months at one time. Be aware of distractions. Timing Patience Review the Tips for Helpful Communication in Workbook.Review the Tips for Helpful Communication in Workbook.

7. Combat Stress

8. Combat Stress VS PTSD Stress Combat Stress Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

9. What is Stress? Stress is defined as your body’s response to an event or occurrence. It is how are body feels, what our body does, or thinks. Stress can affect everyone in different ways. For some people, stress can actually be helpful. What Causes stress? Almost anything. What can you do about stress, learn that it is going to be there and practice some stress management techniques. Stress is defined as your body’s response to an event or occurrence. It is how are body feels, what our body does, or thinks. Stress can affect everyone in different ways. For some people, stress can actually be helpful. What Causes stress? Almost anything. What can you do about stress, learn that it is going to be there and practice some stress management techniques.

10. Combat Stress VS PTSD *Stress Symptoms are normal *It takes time up to 90 days *Help is available Now, what is combat Stress? If you take a look at some of the symptoms of stress and take a look at the symptoms of Combat stress, you see they are very similar. That is because stress is stress but our cause or what we call stressors are different. Combat Stress is the body’s response to a stressor that is combat. Discuss the points in workbook on Combat Stress.Now, what is combat Stress? If you take a look at some of the symptoms of stress and take a look at the symptoms of Combat stress, you see they are very similar. That is because stress is stress but our cause or what we call stressors are different. Combat Stress is the body’s response to a stressor that is combat. Discuss the points in workbook on Combat Stress.

11. PTSD PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. Remember that healing takes time!!! Discuss page on PTSD. Review some of the symptoms. Remember that healing takes time!! Now that we have talked about stress, combat stress, PTSD, lets see if we can define them now. Personal Activity – Define the 3, then circle any symptoms that you have experienced in the last 6 months. Discuss page on PTSD. Review some of the symptoms. Remember that healing takes time!! Now that we have talked about stress, combat stress, PTSD, lets see if we can define them now. Personal Activity – Define the 3, then circle any symptoms that you have experienced in the last 6 months.

12. Military Spouse Stress Group Activity – Have participants as a group come up with some military spouse stress. Group Activity – Have participants as a group come up with some military spouse stress.

14. Integration: 1. Bring into a whole 2. Complete Integration is the process of bringing something together and making it whole-complete. Re-integration is the process of doing it again and for some … again and again and again! ** Turn to workbook page and complete the first section- “What does this mean to you and your family”Integration is the process of bringing something together and making it whole-complete. Re-integration is the process of doing it again and for some … again and again and again! ** Turn to workbook page and complete the first section- “What does this mean to you and your family”

15. What is a blocker? New Values Changing views – work-family-personal Combat, war Extended Family Finances Freedom/Independence Family Roles and responsibilities Others? Every deployment brings new challenges for reintegration – The challenges can also be viewed as a blocker- Blockers inhibit a smooth family reintegration. Some possible blockers are listed here. **PERSONAL ACTIVITY: In your workbook- list possible blockers that are unique to your situation. ##GROUP ACTIVITY: While in your groups- discuss what you all have in common as a common blocker- and complete that line in your workbook. Discuss and develop a plan of attack or solution to that blocker. Brief out Blockers and Solutions- Feedback on other solutions if time permits. If extended family is not mentioned- use as an exampleEvery deployment brings new challenges for reintegration – The challenges can also be viewed as a blocker- Blockers inhibit a smooth family reintegration. Some possible blockers are listed here. **PERSONAL ACTIVITY: In your workbook- list possible blockers that are unique to your situation. ##GROUP ACTIVITY: While in your groups- discuss what you all have in common as a common blocker- and complete that line in your workbook. Discuss and develop a plan of attack or solution to that blocker. Brief out Blockers and Solutions- Feedback on other solutions if time permits. If extended family is not mentioned- use as an example

16. Roles and Responsibilities Finance Director Referee Taxi Driver Domestic Engineer Child Development Specialist K-9 exerciser Other? Do these look familiar? We all take on added roles and responsibilities during deployments. You may have become the “resident expert” or you may never want to see the checkbook again. During reintegration you will need to address these roles and responsibilities and decide who will now be responsible for them. You will need to use patience and realize that reintegration is sometimes a slow process. Be careful not to “dump the junk” in your Marine or Sailors lap. Homecoming is an overwhelming time. Do these look familiar? We all take on added roles and responsibilities during deployments. You may have become the “resident expert” or you may never want to see the checkbook again. During reintegration you will need to address these roles and responsibilities and decide who will now be responsible for them. You will need to use patience and realize that reintegration is sometimes a slow process. Be careful not to “dump the junk” in your Marine or Sailors lap. Homecoming is an overwhelming time.

17. Redefining Roles Time line Define Roles List Roles What happens if no one wants it???? Solutions????????????? What is a time line… Keep it flexible. ** PERSONAL ACTIVITY: Turn to your Roles and Responsibilities work page. Fill in your family roles and responsibilities were Before Deployment. ** PERSONAL ACTIVITY: Highlight those roles that you have taken on that you have enjoyed or want to keep. Circle those you never want to see again! ** PERSONAL ACTIVITY: What if… is your plan if you don’t agree… Jot down your plan of action/Solutions. Some possible solutions- alternate months- draw out of a hat, give them to your teenager! …etc. What is a time line… Keep it flexible. ** PERSONAL ACTIVITY: Turn to your Roles and Responsibilities work page. Fill in your family roles and responsibilities were Before Deployment. ** PERSONAL ACTIVITY: Highlight those roles that you have taken on that you have enjoyed or want to keep. Circle those you never want to see again! ** PERSONAL ACTIVITY: What if… is your plan if you don’t agree… Jot down your plan of action/Solutions. Some possible solutions- alternate months- draw out of a hat, give them to your teenager! …etc.

18. Expectations Reunion Letdown Activity Planning Intimacy Time Reunion is filled with both joy and stress and can be disappointing. But there are things you can do to make the reunion as joyful and stress-free as possible. The difficulties and strains of reuniting the family can be surprising and sometimes painfully disappointing for everyone involved. The initial reunion often is happy; however, because expectations on all sides are so high, it can also be disappointing. The list of opportunities for crushed hopes is a long one. What can make the return from a deployment an unhappy and stressful time is the mismatch between high expectations and the reality of a changed family life., This changed family life requires that all members of the family adapt to the new roles and routines of the family. Knowing and understanding this need to adapt is the key to making the return a happy time with a minimum of stress and disappointment. This part of the workshop is designed to help you identify some of the changes that occur in families’ during/after deployments, as well as healthy ways to deal with them. ***See Workbook and talk about the topics identified above. Reunion is filled with both joy and stress and can be disappointing. But there are things you can do to make the reunion as joyful and stress-free as possible. The difficulties and strains of reuniting the family can be surprising and sometimes painfully disappointing for everyone involved. The initial reunion often is happy; however, because expectations on all sides are so high, it can also be disappointing. The list of opportunities for crushed hopes is a long one. What can make the return from a deployment an unhappy and stressful time is the mismatch between high expectations and the reality of a changed family life., This changed family life requires that all members of the family adapt to the new roles and routines of the family. Knowing and understanding this need to adapt is the key to making the return a happy time with a minimum of stress and disappointment. This part of the workshop is designed to help you identify some of the changes that occur in families’ during/after deployments, as well as healthy ways to deal with them. ***See Workbook and talk about the topics identified above. Reunion is filled with both joy and stress and can be disappointing. But there are things you can do to make the reunion as joyful and stress-free as possible. The difficulties and strains of reuniting the family can be surprising and sometimes painfully disappointing for everyone involved. The initial reunion often is happy; however, because expectations on all sides are so high, it can also be disappointing. The list of opportunities for crushed hopes is a long one. What can make the return from a deployment an unhappy and stressful time is the mismatch between high expectations and the reality of a changed family life., This changed family life requires that all members of the family adapt to the new roles and routines of the family. Knowing and understanding this need to adapt is the key to making the return a happy time with a minimum of stress and disappointment. This part of the workshop is designed to help you identify some of the changes that occur in families’ during/after deployments, as well as healthy ways to deal with them. ***See Workbook and talk about the topics identified above. Reunion is filled with both joy and stress and can be disappointing. But there are things you can do to make the reunion as joyful and stress-free as possible. The difficulties and strains of reuniting the family can be surprising and sometimes painfully disappointing for everyone involved. The initial reunion often is happy; however, because expectations on all sides are so high, it can also be disappointing. The list of opportunities for crushed hopes is a long one. What can make the return from a deployment an unhappy and stressful time is the mismatch between high expectations and the reality of a changed family life., This changed family life requires that all members of the family adapt to the new roles and routines of the family. Knowing and understanding this need to adapt is the key to making the return a happy time with a minimum of stress and disappointment. This part of the workshop is designed to help you identify some of the changes that occur in families’ during/after deployments, as well as healthy ways to deal with them. ***See Workbook and talk about the topics identified above. Reunion is filled with both joy and stress and can be disappointing. But there are things you can do to make the reunion as joyful and stress-free as possible. The difficulties and strains of reuniting the family can be surprising and sometimes painfully disappointing for everyone involved. The initial reunion often is happy; however, because expectations on all sides are so high, it can also be disappointing. The list of opportunities for crushed hopes is a long one. What can make the return from a deployment an unhappy and stressful time is the mismatch between high expectations and the reality of a changed family life., This changed family life requires that all members of the family adapt to the new roles and routines of the family. Knowing and understanding this need to adapt is the key to making the return a happy time with a minimum of stress and disappointment. This part of the workshop is designed to help you identify some of the changes that occur in families’ during/after deployments, as well as healthy ways to deal with them. ***See Workbook and talk about the topics identified above. Reunion is filled with both joy and stress and can be disappointing. But there are things you can do to make the reunion as joyful and stress-free as possible. The difficulties and strains of reuniting the family can be surprising and sometimes painfully disappointing for everyone involved. The initial reunion often is happy; however, because expectations on all sides are so high, it can also be disappointing. The list of opportunities for crushed hopes is a long one. What can make the return from a deployment an unhappy and stressful time is the mismatch between high expectations and the reality of a changed family life., This changed family life requires that all members of the family adapt to the new roles and routines of the family. Knowing and understanding this need to adapt is the key to making the return a happy time with a minimum of stress and disappointment. This part of the workshop is designed to help you identify some of the changes that occur in families’ during/after deployments, as well as healthy ways to deal with them. ***See Workbook and talk about the topics identified above.

19. Not going as planned?

20. Thank you… Have a wonderful Reunion! Congratulations!