Find A Long Lasting Relationship: Vital Partners – Dating Service

1. DATING IN 2010 A SPECIAL ADVERTISING REPORT S After years of lucking out in love, Darien and Darren met through an introduction agency. They seemed a complete mismatch. It turned out to be quite the opposite, writes Laura Cencigh- Albulario D That’s aboutall theyhad incommon before theymet. Theylived nearly90 kilometres apart:he, onthe northern beaches, she,in semi-ruralCamden. She wasa career-drivenequine (horse) vet, whilehe wasa laid-backweb designer. Their pathsnever crosseduntil mid- 2008 whenthey bothjoined introduction service, VitalPartners afteryears of luckingout inlove. Now, thepair sharea newborn daughter, weddingplans, anda happy home onthe northernbeaches. According toMs Feary,34, it’stheir differences whichmake therelationship work.‘‘Darren’s interestsand personality arequite differentto mine, but wecompliment eachother,’’ shesays. ‘‘I’m highlymotivated andgoal driven, buthe’s muchmore relaxed and fun.He doesn’tget worriedabout things easily.It wassuch arelief for me tobe aroundsomebody whomade me thinkless.’’ Ms Feary,who wasinitially dubious about datingservices, saysshe stillcan’t believe herluck. ‘‘I hada fewfriends whofound their husbands oninternet datingsites, butI thought Iwould neverdo itmyself,’’ she says. ‘‘It’sreally quiteamazing how much mylife haschanged overthe last year-and-a-half.’’ TheVital Partnersintroduction method, whichputs allmembers through a screeningand interviewprocess, provides aselection ofpotential matches and onlyexchanges profileswith permission, madeMs Fearymore comfortablewith theidea. She signedup aftershe returnedfrom a seven-yearstint workingin theUS, and ended a‘‘pretty awful’’relationship. ‘‘I AZ.That’s thenickname Darien Fearyand DarrenCox have alwaysshared. Dazzling duo make a perfect match ‘‘I was a bit sceptical about (introduction agencies) but I walked away with all my fingers and toes crossed hoping someone would match with me’’ made abig decisionto comehome to Australia,’’ shesays. ‘‘Mycareer was doing well,but Iwas notfulfilled inmy life andlifestyle. Iwas suddenly32, I wanted afamily, andI realisedI would have todo somethingabout itvery soon to givemyself thatopportunity.’’ Although herintentions werethere, Ms Fearysoon realisedthat findinga partner, whenher liferevolved around work, wasn’tgoing tobe easy. ‘‘I wasgetting quitelonely,’’ shesays. ‘‘I joineda runningclub, Igot adog to fill theempty space,and Iwas tryingto do thingsto getout therea bit,but it’s difficult tomeet peoplewhen you’re living andworking inan environment where thereare veryfew singlemen.’’ Meanwhile, MrCox, 32,was faced with asimilar challengeafter hislong- term relationshipended. Allhis friends had startedsettling downand hegrew tired ofweekends thatamounted to little morethan playingsport. ‘‘The usualplaces youmeet people,at parties, orat thepub wasn’thappening because justtrying tofind peopleto go out withwas hard,’’he says. ‘‘It pushedme towardsplan B.I wasa bitsceptical about(introduction agencies) butI walkedaway withall my fingers andtoes crossedhoping someone wouldmatch withme.’’ Mr Coxwas stillunsure whenhis dating consultantrecommended Ms Feary,and ittook hima weekto decideto callher. Severallong phoneconversations followed, andby thetime thepair had their firstmeeting atBungalow 8in the city, theyalready feltcomfortable with eachother. ‘‘It turnedout tobe anamazing journey,’’ MrCox says.‘‘Who would have thoughtback thenthat I’dend up getting marriedand havinga baby.The way everythinghas pannedout hasbeen ablessing.’’ Melina finds a singles’ solution ‘‘ is that people forget they’re single. They walk away having done something really productive. Even if they didn’t have a match, nobody leaves feeling like a loser’’ T The most amazing thing about it suggested that,if shedid somethingshe loved, she wouldeventually findsomebody. ‘‘I lovecharity work,but mostcharities needed alonger termcommitment thanI was able togive,’’ MsSchamroth says.‘‘I cameup with (SingleVolunteers) forpeople likeme, who aretime-poor, whowant tomake a difference andwant tomeet people. ‘‘The mostamazing thingabout itis that people forgetthey’re single.They walkaway having donesomething reallyproductive. Even if theydidn’t havea match,nobody leaves feelinglike aloser.’’ As wellas playingcupid, MsSchamroth’s wider goalis tobring backa cultureof community service.‘‘It’s notnecessarily part of theGen Xand GenY culturethat wehave at the momentfor peopleto engagewith their community,’’ shesays. ‘‘Fora lotof (participants) it’sthe firsttime they’ve contributed tothe communitybeyond financially. Theymay goon tohave long-term involvementin thesecharities.’’ The Valentine’sDay SingleVolunteers event, PuppyLove, willbe heldat SydneyCats and DogsHome inCarlton, andwill helpthe large numberof petswhich havebeen dumped since Christmas.There willbe groupsfor 25-to 45-year-olds, over-45sand peopleseeking same-sex relationships.Bookings areessential. ● Details:www.madwoman.com.au T give uptheir timeto dovolunteer work. EntrepreneurMelina Schamroth,38, (pictured) hasfound asolution toboth withher Single Volunteersprogram. Run throughher company,m.a.d.woman, which specialisesin campaignsthat makea positive difference,the programwill launchin Sydney onValentine’s Day.It bringssingle people togetherto workon charityprojects and atthe endof theday, participantsthat share amutual attractionreceive eachother’s phonenumbers. The concepthas alreadytaken offin Melbourne, wherehundreds ofsingles have found lovein soupkitchens, animalshelters and hospitals.‘‘There wasone guywho hadn’t been ona datefor sevenyears, andhe walked away withpotential dateswith sevenpeople,’’ Ms Schamrothsays. Her largestevent sofar saw200 singlesturn the exclusiveMedallion Clubin Etihad Stadium intoa soupkitchen andproduce over 7000 mealsfor homelesspeople. At theend ofthe event,106 ofthose participants shareda mutualattraction (one couple wasalready canoodlingon theway home). MsSchamroth herselfis oneof the success stories.She mether partnerof 15 months, Dave,‘‘cracking eggsand cracking jokes’’ ina soupkitchen. ‘‘My namewasn’t onthe ticksheet, buthe added itand pursuedme,’’ shesays. ‘‘Ithought it wouldnot bevery professional,since itwas work forme, butthere wassome ironyin the fact thatI wasrunning singlesevents butwas still singlemyself.’’ After all,it wasMs Schamroth’sown disastrous experiencesin thedating gamethat inspired herto startthe program. When shefound herselfsuddenly singlein her mid-30s,she triedinternet dating,but became frustratedby people’sinaccurate descriptions ofthemselves: ‘‘Therewas one guy whosaid hewas athletic,but whenI met him Irealised hewas onlyathletic fromthe head up.There werepeople thatworked on paper, butthere wasno chemistryin person,’’ Ms Schamrothadds. The realturning pointcame aftershe had what shedescribes asone ofthe worst experiences ofher life:a singles’event. ‘‘It justreeked ofdesperation,’’ Ms Schamroth says.‘‘When Iwalked out,I thought, Idon’t careif I’msingle forever,I can’t gothrough thatever again.’’A friend WO symptomsof busymodern life; more singleswithout thetime tofind a partner,and lesspeople willingto 116 February 7, 2010 THE SUNDAY TELEGRAPH www.sundaytelegraph.com.au