Cooperation, Learning and Project Management

1. Cooperation, Learning and Project Management MM9: Conflict Management

2. Agenda • Understanding Conflict: definition, types, phases • Role play 1 • Tools and methods for conflict management • Role play 2

3. What is conflict? • Clash between 2 or more persons’ needs, wishes, values… • A ”part of everyday life” • An opportunity for personal and ”organizational” growth, learning • A potential detriment to all involved • Manageable via conflict management tools, methods, processes…

4. Types of conflict • Personal conflicts/ ”chemistry” • Communication conflicts • Subject-related conflicts • Role conflicts • Organizational conflicts • Goal-alignment conflicts • Conflicts of interest • Work contribution/efforts conflicts • Conflicting opinions • Incongruent ambitions May not be so ”clear cut”; often several types, not always visible/definable

5. Four phases of Conflict Latent Conflict: under the surface; not expressed openly; conflict waiting to happen A triggering incident: an event that brings the conflict into the open; the ”last straw”. New Equilibrium: a new understanding of the relationship is reached. Conflict stage: 1 or more issue(s) is/are aired & defined; often many issues explode all at once.

6. Role Play 1 • Read and consider your assigned roles • Fishbowl observations • Group discussion

7. Conflict Management The ability to effectively manage conflict is without a doubt one of the most important skills you will need to be successful in your life!

8. Conflict resolution: Basic model • All involved tell their ”story” and present their viewpoints (individually) • Meeting leader/mediator formulates the main points of the conflict, based on the individual ”stories” and views • Underlying issues are discussed—shared/opposing interests? • Potential solutions are discussed (brainstorming?): Choose a suggestion • Formulate the solution into a formal agreement • Evaluate the process and individual satisfaction with the solution. Problemorienteret projektarbejde (Olsen & Pedersen) p. 114

9. Conflict resolution styles High Win/Lose Style Problem-Solving Style Compromise Degree of Assertiveness Avoidance Style Accomading Style Low Low Degree of Cooperation High

10. No ”one best strategy” Depending on the nature of the relationship(s), different strategies may be more effective than others in different situations. Judging which style to adopt in a given situation is a skill; developing the ability to use different styles in various situations requires practice (”learning by doing”)!

11. Avoidance Style • Nonconfrontational; he/she ”ignores” an issue/person with which/whom the conflict involves; may deny existence of a conflict or problem. • When might this be an effective strategy?

12. Accomodating Style • Agreeable and non-assertive in his/her behavior; he/she cooperatives, even at the expense of his/her own personal needs, wishes, goals. • When might this be an effective strategy?

13. Win/Lose Style • ”Classic Conflict”; confrontational; aggressive; must win at all costs; disregard for the needs of the other person(s) • When might this be an effective strategy?

14. Problem-solving Style • ”Collaborating style”; both parties have a high degree of respect for each other; recognition for and consideration of own and others’ needs, wishes, goals • When might this be an effective strategy?

15. Compromising Style • Both assertive and cooperative; gives up something in order to gain something; results in only partial satisfaction • When might this be an effective strategy?

16. Win/Win Conflict Resolution • Plan an approach that includes an assertive ”I” statement that identifies your concerns about the situation • Present your statement to the other party • Let the other party respond • Agree on the conflict • Develop alternative solutions • Make an agreement for change

17. ”I” statements allow you to… • Establish a problem-solving atmosphere • Maintain your role in the conflict (not blame others) • Keep yourself focused and calm • Reduce potential defensiveness of the other party Assertive statements use ”BCF” model

18. BCF Model • B = Behavior that bothers you • C = Consequences of that behavior on you • F = Your feelings about the situation • BCF statements describe the problem from your point of view; doesn’t introduce possible solutions; does not attack others on a personal level…

19. Examples of BCF statements • When you (state behavior), I feel (state feelings) because (state consequences)… • When you interupt me at meetings (behavior), I lose my train of thought (consequences) and that makes me feel foolish in front of the other members of the team (feelings).

20. ”Giraffe Language” • Marshall B. Rosenberg’s”Giraffe language” is a communication tool that teaches us to ask for what we need without stepping on anyone’s toes. The basic idea with giraffe language is, in conflict and conversations, we try to express 4 things: • What ”I” see and hear • What ”I” feel about what the other party says • What my needs are • What the other party can do to meet my needs • Also, I ask about the other party’s needs and feelings, which helps me to develop my own empathetic qualities. Rosenberg, M.B. (1999) ”Nonviolent Communication : A Language of Compassion”

21. How’s it going? • The 2 fundamental questions are: how are you doing? What would you like to have (happen)? Giraffe Kids Wolf Kids I feel…because I ... I feel because...you... I need for me to… I need for you to… Takes responsibility Shames/plays on guilt

22. Rosenberg’s communication model 4 steps which impact our interactions and contacts: 1. FACT: express observations (see, hear) concretely, without intrepretating. ”I see/hear/notice...”   2. FEELING: express how you feel about the issue. I become/feel… 3. NEED: express your need, wishes, intentions. ”I need…” 4. REQUEST: express what you want to happen (an action). ”Will you…”