Increasing Knowledge and Awareness of Child Sexual Abuse Issues

1. Increasing Knowledge and Awareness of Child Sexual Abuse Issues Bruce Michael Cappo, Ph.D. Clinical Associates, P.A. St. Benedict’s Abbey June 6th 2005

2. Goals • Boundaries with Minors • Prevalence, Identification and Prevention of Child abuse • Self-protection from False Allegations of Sexual Abuse • Warning Signs Associated with Preferential and Situational Abuse of Minors • Discussion and Interaction - this should be an interactive presentation – discussion is learning

3. Praesidium Accreditation • Qualifies as part of the Praesidium Accreditation process • Independent team of specialists reviews to make sure organization has met or exceeded all standards

4. Membership Requires • Participation in education regarding development of a mature and integrated celibate sexuality • Development of the ability to identify and address challenges to maintaining celibacy and healthy intimate relationships

5. Members must NOT continue if.. • There is ANY abuse of a minor • There is an inability to maintain appropriate boundaries despite guidelines and instruction

6. Vows or Promises of Celibacy • DO NOT CAUSE ABUSE OF MINORS • Celibacy is an achievable and reasonable promise

7. About Me • BA, MA & PhD from Univ. of Kansas • Interned at Univ. of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center • 7 Hospitals including world’s largest children’s hospital • Community Mental Health • Private Practice

8. Experience • Clinical Associates, P.A. • 19 Practitioners • Everything except child custody evals • Evaluation • Risk assessment • State of KS Sexual Predator Transition Program • Treatment

9. Boundaries with Minors • Identify behaviors and interactions that are prohibited under all circumstances • Identify positive forms of affection and demonstration of ministerial care for minors that are appropriate under most circumstances • Familial relationships may be different

10. Prohibited Behaviors • Standards of Conduct for Ministry with Minors • Code of Ethical Standards for Monastery Persons • The following are directly from relevant sections of these documents for discussion

11. 1. Prohibited Behaviors • a. Using, possessing, or being under the influence of illegal drugs while in the presence of minors. • b. Using, possessing, or being under the influence of while supervising minors. • c. Providing or allowing minors to consume alcohol or illegal drugs. • d. Swearing in the presence of minors.  

12. 1. Prohibited Behaviors • e. Speaking to minors in a way that is or could be construed by any observer as harsh, threatening, intimidating, shaming, derogatory, demeaning, or humiliating. • f. Discussing sexual activities with minors unless it is a specific job requirement and the monk is trained to discuss these matters • g. Engaging in any sexually oriented conversations with minors unless the conversations are part of a legitimate lesson and discussion for teenagers regarding human sexuality issues. On such occasions, the lessons will convey to youth the Church¹s teachings on these topics. If youth have further questions not answered or addressed by their individual teachers they should be referred to their parents or guardians for clarification or counseling.

13. 1. Prohibited Behaviors • h. Being nude in the presence of minors. • i. Possessing sexually oriented or morally inappropriate printed materials (magazines, cards, videos, films, clothing, etc.). • j. Sleeping in the same beds, sleeping bags or small tents with minors. • k. Engaging in sexual contact with minors.  For the purposes of this policy, sexual contact is defined as vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, oral intercourse or the touching of an erogenous zone of another (including but not limited to the thighs, genitals, buttocks, pubic region or chest) for the purpose of sexually arousing or gratifying either person.

14. 2. Off-site events • a. Monks are prohibited from transporting minors without written permission of their parent or guardian. • b. Monks are prohibited from unnecessary and/or inappropriate physical contact with minors while in vehicles. • c. Minors should be transported directly to their destination.  No unplanned stops should be made. • d. Monks are prohibited from having minors stay at their residence.  Requests for exceptions should be submitted to the abbot in writing two weeks prior to the visit. • e. Changing and showering facilities or arrangements for monks must be separate from facilities or arrangements for minors.

15. 3. Physical contact • a. Monks are prohibited from using physical discipline in any way for behavior management of minors.  No form of physical discipline is acceptable.  This prohibition includes spanking, slapping, pinching, hitting, or any other physical force as retaliation or correction for inappropriate behaviors by minors. • b. Appropriate affection between Members and minors constitutes a positive part of Church life and ministry.  The following forms of affection are regarded as appropriate examples for monks in ministry roles with minors:

16. Appropriate Examples • Hugs. • Pats on the shoulder or back. • Hand-shakes. • “High-fives” and hand slapping. • Verbal praise. • Touching hands, faces, shoulders and arms of minors. • Arms around shoulders.

17. Appropriate Examples • Holding hands while walking with small children. • Sitting beside small children. • Kneeling or bending down for hugs with small children. • Holding hands during prayer. • Pats on the head when culturally appropriate.  (For example, this gesture should typically be avoided in some Asian communities).

18. Inappropriate Examples • c. Some forms of physical affection have been used by adults to initiate inappropriate contact with minors.   • Inappropriate or lengthy embraces. • Kissing on the mouth. • Holding minors over four years old on the lap. • Touching buttocks, chests or genital areas. • Showing affection in isolated areas such as bedrooms, closets, staff-only areas or other private rooms.

19. Inappropriate Examples • Being in bed with a minor. • Touching knees or legs of minors. • Wrestling with minors. • Tickling minors. • Piggyback rides • Any type of massage given by minor to adult. • Any type of massage given by adult to minor. • Any form of unwanted affection. • Compliments that relate to physique or body development.

20. 4. CONDUCT WITH MINORS • Monastery Persons working with minors should use appropriate judgment marked by personal and professional integrity to ensure safe and trusting relationships, avoiding any and all appearances of impropriety • 4.1.    Monastery Persons must be aware of their own vulnerability and that of any individual minor with whom they may be working.  In every instance possible a team approach to ministry with youth should be considered.   • 4.2.    In group settings an appropriate ratio of adults to young people should be maintained. • 4.3.    Monastery Persons should exercise prudent caution when meeting with minors, especially in a one-on-one encounter.  Secluded meeting places must be avoided.

21. 4. CONDUCT WITH MINORS • 4.4.    Any physical contact with minors may be misconstrued by both minors and other adults and should only occur under appropriate public circumstances. Monastery Persons are responsible for maintaining sexual boundaries in a pastoral relationship with minors. Monastery Persons should know and understand the diocesan and abbey policies and procedures concerning allegations of sexual misconduct involving minors and the developmentally disabled. • 4.5.    Monastery Persons do not supply or condone the use of alcohol, tobacco and/or any other illegal drugs by minors.  Further, Monastery Persons are to refrain from the use of alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs while working with minors.

22. 4. CONDUCT WITH MINORS • 4.6.    Monastery Persons do not provide any sexually explicit, inappropriate, or offensive material to minors, nor do they discuss their own sexual experiences or use sexually explicit or vulgar language. • 4.7.    Providing overnight accommodations in rectories or other personal residences for parish minors, or other minors with whom the Monastery Person may have other than a close familial relationship, is prohibited. • 4.8.    Monastery Persons should not go on vacations or overnights alone with minors. It is not appropriate for an adult to share a bed with a minor.  Sharing a bedroom, other than a dormitory style room, with a minor(s) is not permitted.

23. What those behaviors have in common • Obvious & explicit crossing of boundaries • Justified crossing of boundaries • Rationalized crossing of boundaries • A relaxing of boundaries • Pushing the limits of boundaries

24. If he did this…then…. • How would such actions be viewed in retrospect? • Is this part of a pattern? • Does this constitute grooming? • Is this someone who disregards rules, polices procedures when convenient? • What else has happened that we don’t yet know about?

25. Takes into consideration the individual characteristics of the minor • Certain persons are more vulnerable than others • Personality characteristics of minor • Possible psychological difficulties • Minor may have a history of abuse or neglect • Misinterpretation of actions & intent by minor

26. Trivia Snapshot • A YoYo can achieve speeds up to 11,000 rpm

27. Prevalence, Identification and Prevention of Child abuse • Participation in a minimum of 3 hours of education on child sexual abuse every 3 years • Updated information made available on an annual basis

28. Definitions • A heterosexual possesses a primary sexual desire toward persons of the opposite gender • A homosexual possesses a primary sexual desire toward persons of the same gender • A bisexual possesses a primary sexual desire toward persons of both genders • A pedophile possesses a primary sexual desire toward children • A ephebophile possesses a primary sexual desire toward adolescents (usually male) • A hebephile possesses a primary sexual desire toward pubescent boys ages 12-14 • An ephebephile possesses a primary sexual desire toward post-pubescent boys ages 14-17

29. The Problem • 1 in 8 males will be sexually abused • 1 in 4 females will be sexually abused • NOT limited to the Catholic Church • 2% - 6% of priests have had a sexual experience with a minor • 60,000 active and inactive priests and brothers in the U.S. • 1000 to 3000 have engaged sexually with minors

30. The Problem (cont) • 2% - 6% consistent with male clergy from other religious traditions • Estimates range upwards of 8% for general male adult population • Thus, less likely a clergy than others but any abuse is too much, especially to those we trust with our children • Nearly all clergy do not abuse children

31. The Problem • Only 1% of children are abused by strangers • This is where the focus was for years in terms of training our children to be wary of strangers • No one said to be wary of friends, family, or trusted adults – but that is who abuses

32. Specifics of those who offend • 80% - 90% of clergy engage adolescent boys not prepubescent children • Teenage males more at risk than children of any other age and than females • Technically, ephebophiles rather than pedophiles (continuing controversy in the field about these terms and so not used as much as you would think)

33. Specifics of those who offend • Vast majority offend about a year after ordination – not before • Must look at risk factors during screening rather than past history of behaviors • Screening out only those who have offended in the past is a tiny amount

34. Risk Factors • History of childhood sexual abuse • Social isolation • Poor social skills • Impulse control problems • Psychiatric co-morbidity • Substance abuse • Mood disorders • Personality disorders

35. Marriage does not solve the problem • Other religious traditions where priests do marry have same problem • Non religious have same problem • Simply not having access to a sexual partner whether married or not does not turn one toward children as a focus of that sexuality

36. Homosexuality • Sexual orientation does not predict sexual abuse of children • Homosexual men are not more likely to engage in illegal sexual behavior with children than heterosexual men • Joaquin Navarro-Valls (official spokesman for the Vatican) – identified pedophilia with homosexuality and suggested the priesthood become less welcoming to homosexuals – fueled confusion and misinformation

37. Why the focus on Catholics? • Defensive when issue arises • “Circle the wagons” approach early on • Victims not treated with compassion • Checks and balances of other organization not in place in the Catholic Church • Board of Directors, outside members, performance evaluations do not exist

38. Catholic Hierarchy • Catholic priests, brothers answer to one religious superior • If he does not manage the situation well then problems persist, proliferate • Offenders were tolerated, moved, etc thus potentially creating more victims per offender than other religious • A single individual can have more power (Boston) and greater influence

39. The Past in our Present • Most cases reported are decades old • Average age of offender is 53 • Our knowledge of sexual abuse and the damage associated with it has increased • Not much research before the 1980s

40. Prevalence in the Past • 30 years ago it is estimated that 23% of male psychotherapists were sexually involved with clients • Through education, changes in law and ethics requirements this has now changed dramatically

41. Then … • 30 years ago there were no psychological evaluations for men entering the religious life • Entered from high school • No training in sexuality, boundaries, impulse control, etc

42. … And Now • Older – often late 20s or even 30s • Often had appropriate and satisfying intimate relationships before seminary • Psychological evaluation for risk factors • Training in sexuality and impulse control

43. Ongoing Discussion / Actions • Emphasis on discussing such issues and dealing with them as they occur • Do not wait for things to reach a crisis • Police analogy – “fitness for duty” • This is an illness • People deserve treatment • People deserve compassion

44. What to do • Anyone accused is immediately put on administrative leave • Legal authorities notified • Evaluation by a trained professional • Treatment as appropriate • Support

45. Don’t forget the victims • Legal issues • Treatment • Compassion • No blaming

46. Trivia Snapshot • When you watch a baseball game on TV you actually hear the crack of the bat sooner than the fans at the game because of the placement of the microphone and the speed of sound versus the speed of the electrical transmissions used for broadcasting the signal

47. Self-protection from False Allegations of Sexual Abuse • Understand the potential of high risk situations • Discuss with leadership situations of concern regarding the possibility of false allegations

48. Top 3 things to know about False Allegations • Very Rare • Very Rare • Very Rare

49. That’s not very comforting …. • Thus, ALL allegations taken seriously • Person is realistically in a position of proving innocence rather than prosecutor proving guilt • “Guilty until proven innocent” • Even the allegation alone does extensive damage

50. But…False allegations do happen • Child custody issues • “Therapists gone wild” • McMartin daycare • “Prosecutors/Social Services gone Wild” • Washington state – 60 people – no convictions • Repressed Memories • NO research support