WELCOME PARENTS! Loving Solutions for Tough Kids

1. WELCOME PARENTS!Loving Solutionsfor Tough Kids AKA Parent Project® Jr. 1a

2. Parent Project, Jr. 1b

3. Specifically designed for parents raising difficult children - ages 5 - 10 • Created to …. • Reduce family conflict • Help children develop greater self discipline • Improve the enjoyment of parenting and family life • Help our children grow up safe, strong & capable Parent Project, Jr. 2

4. Loving Solutions - Course Overview • Week 1 topics: • Importance of Love and Affection • Parenting Model for the strong-willed child • Understanding our children • Influencing & Motivating difficult children • Using Time Outs correctly and effectively Parent Project, Jr. 3a

5. Loving Solutions Week 2 topics: • Sharing our Expectations, Standards & Values with our children • Identifying Critical Rules for our kids • Involving our children in the process • Using Set Time Outs Parent Project, Jr. 3b

6. Loving Solutions Week 3 topics: • Responding to our children’s choices • Encouraging positive choices • Redirecting negative choices • Dealing w/ Emotional Outbursts Parent Project, Jr. 3c

7. Loving Solutions Week 4 topics: • Active Supervision • Creating Structure for our children • Improving School Performance Parent Project, Jr. 4a

8. Loving Solutions Week 5 topics: • Concrete Solutions for tough kids • Highly impulsive/ special needs children • Out-of-Control Behaviors • Developing Personal Action Plans for behavior plans Parent Project, Jr. 4b

9. Loving Solutions Week 6 topics: • Recognizing and Supporting Success • The dynamics of change • Problem solving • Building a Strong Sense of Family • Finding Support for our selves Parent Project, Jr. 4c

10. Loving Solutions Week 7 topics: • Diagnosis & treatment of ADD/ADHD • Working w/ your insurance & doctors • Tips for helping ADD/ADHD kids Parent Project, Jr. 4d

11. Unit 1 Objectives Parents will be able to: • List character traits of a strong-willed child • Recognize successful ways to demonstrate love & affection • Discuss influence vs. control • Describe effective parenting strategies to increase cooperation & other positive behaviors Parent Project, Jr. 5

12. Before We Begin Unit 1: 1. What is your partner’s name? 2. What are the names & ages of your partner’s children? 3. What parental concerns or issues is your partner facing right now? 4. What does your partner hope to learn from this class? After getting your partner’s permission, introduce your new friend to the large group using the above information Parent Project, Jr. 6

13. Argumentative Frustrating Persistent Traditional parenting generally ineffective Cooperative Pleasant Eager to please Traditional parenting usually effective Strong Willed vs.Complaint Children Parent Project, Jr. 7

14. Calm Easy Going Willing to listen Understanding Compliant 6. Emotional 7. Strong-willed 8. Argumentative 9. Stubborn 10. Challenging Activity 1.1: Personality Parent Project, Jr. 8

15. What Works? The keys to parenting tough kids: • Love & Affection • Positive Strokes • Positive Consequences • Time Outs • Teaching New Tools Parent Project, Jr. 9

16. Love & Affection Our MOST effective parenting tool & the key to: • Improved Communication • Effective Discipline • Positive Self-Esteem • Changing destructive & difficult behaviors Parent Project, Jr. 10

17. Working in Groups Group Facilitator Group Recorder Group Time Keeper Group Cheerleaders/ Nurturers Parent Project, Jr. 11

18. Group Activity 1.2: Roles Group Facilitator: Group Recorder: Group Time Keeper: Group Cheerleaders/ Nurturers: Each member now takes a minute to explain their assigned job description to their group Parent Project, Jr. 12

19. Ground Rules • Active Listening: Only 1 group member speaks at a time. Give your complete & undivided attention. Groups STOP individual conversations when large group activities begin. • Confidentiality: Confidentiality means, What is heard in the group, remains in the group. • Avoid Being Judgmental: Groups are not a place for judgment, criticism or confrontation. • Quantity vs. Quality: The more ideas the better. There are no right or wrong answers in brainstorming activities. • OK to Piggy Back: When a member can add to another member’s idea, they should do so. • Group Ownership: Once an idea or thought has been spoken aloud, it belongs to the group. Parent Project, Jr. 13

20. Group Activity 1.3Showing Love • Saying, “I Love You” • Cooking for your children • Spending time w/ your children • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? Parent Project, Jr. 14

21. Group Activity 1.4Most Effective 3 parental expressions of love that a child could not mistake as anything other than - Mom & Dad love me. • ? • ? • ? Parent Project, Jr. 15

22. Group Activity 1.5: Children • Children… • Children… • Children… • Children… • Children respond… Parent Project, Jr. 16

23. Parent control THINGS… NOT Children! 17

24. We don’t control our kids! But, we do have tremendousinfluence on them. 18

25. Influencing & Motivating Children • Daily Love & Affection • Positive Strokes • Positive Consequences • Time Outs • Teaching Tools Parent Project, Jr. 19

26. Positive Strokes: Catching kids doing right! Acknowledge and reinforce your child’s positive actions w/ a compliment - it shows you noticed and approve. Parent Project, Jr. 20

27. Group Activity 1.7Doing Right! • Taking out the trash with or without being asked • Helping a younger brother or sister • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? Parent Project, Jr. 21

28. Positive Consequences… Kids get to do what they like to do, AFTER they have followed a parent’s request. 22

29. Everyday Life Example Employee receives a paycheck at the end of the work week. Parent Project, Jr. 23

30. Group Activity 1.8Fun Follows Work! • Sure! You may use the phone, just as soon as you finish drying the dishes. • Sure! You may go to your friend’s house, just as soon as your room is clean. • Sure! You may______________, just as soon as ____________________. • Sure! You may______________, just as soon as ____________________. • Sure! You may______________, just as soon as ____________________. Parent Project, Jr. 24

31. Time Out • Involves the loss of access to fun things and social interaction w/ others. • Becomes an empty, boring and undesirable experience • May follow a negative behavior; also may be used to encourage a positive behavior • Lasts only a very short time - short Time Outs help maintain a child’s hope & motivation. Parent Project, Jr. 25

32. Group Activity 1.9Negative Choices • Hitting • Breaking a toy on purpose • ? • ? • ? • ? Parent Project, Jr. 26

33. Teaching Tools Taking time to teach kids a better way Everyday Life Example: Your supervisor shows you how to safely use a new machine Parent Project, Jr. 27

34. Group Activity 1.10Teaching Tools • Hitting • Purposefully breaking a toy • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? Parent Project, Jr. 28

35. Designing EffectiveTime Outs Appropriate? Does the behavior deserve a Time Out? - willful or just a mistake. Brief? Will it last just a short time? - consequences must fit the way kids think. Consistent? Am I willing to follow through every time and for the entire time period? Design? What’s the whole picture? - what happens, where and how? Educate? Did we take the time to plan & teach a better way? Parent Project, Jr. 29

36. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Group Activity 1.11Child’s List THIS is “Our Child’s List” Parent Project, Jr. 30

37. T.E.A.S.P.O.T. Take everythingaway, for a shortperiod of time. 31

38. Choosing the Spot? Parent Project, Jr. 32

39. Using Self-Limiting Time Outs to encourage (AKA motivate) our children to do important yet “unfun” activities… 33

40. Group Activity 1.12“Unfun” Tasks • Child needs to complete homework • Child needs to pick up toys • ? • ? • ? • ? • ? Parent Project, Jr. 34

41. Used to encourage positive behaviors No use of a timer Time Out Area is a boring place Length of Time Out is determined by the child Child does not leave Time Out Area except to do requested task Child leaves when ready to do the requested task Child “takes as much time” as he needs Self-Limiting Time Outs Parent Project, Jr. 35

42. Group Activity 1.13: ABC’s Appropriate? Brief? Consistent? Design? (what, when, where & how) Educate? (plan & teach a better way) Parent Project, Jr. 36

43. Review Activity 1.14 • If parents have a strong-willed child, traditional parenting techniques may not _________. • Parents must tell their children how much they are loved every _______. • Although parents cannot control their children, parents can control the _______ their children enjoy. • Parents should give their child Positive ______when they catch their child doing something right. • _______ term Time Outs are more effective than long-term Time Outs because they fit the way children think. • When children refuse to do a requested task, parents should use a ______ ________ Time Out. Parent Project, Jr. 37

44. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Most Powerful Idea I Learned in Unit 1: Parent Project, Jr. 38

45. Home Practice • Tell your child how much they are loved every day this week. • Catch your child doing something right, and give him/her a “Positive Stroke.” • If you find it necessary to use a “Self-Limiting Time Out,” follow the guidelines in this unit. Remember the ABC’s of Time Outs: Appropriate, Brief, Consistent, Design, and Educate a better way. Make sure you bring back your success stories to share with your support group next week. Parent Project, Jr. 39

46. Next Week … Ideals, Rules and Tools Learn how to communicate your expectations, standards, and values to your children Parent Project, Jr. 40

47. Words of Wisdom I wish I would have held you closer, hugged and kissed you more when you were little. Parent Author Unknown PARENTS, now’s the time! Parent Project, Jr. 41