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Writing Project

Writing Project. By Rebecca Weglarz. Emily Baer— Full of great ideas Mostly kept to herself & her writing Very coachable. Meet the Authors. Jake Brosius — Drawn back & shy at first Somewhat of a perfectionist Followed directions very easily. BRAINSTORMING.

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Writing Project

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  1. Writing Project By Rebecca Weglarz

  2. Emily Baer— Full of great ideas Mostly kept to herself & her writing Very coachable Meet the Authors • Jake Brosius— • Drawn back & shy at first • Somewhat of a perfectionist • Followed directions very easily

  3. BRAINSTORMING Emily & Jake filled out organizers to get down ideas for their initial stories Emily: • Had a very easy time coming up with ideas • Included a great amount of detail from the start • Even offered ideas for Jake to use in his story! Jake: • Very frustrated at first & had difficulty thinking of what he could write about • Thought of things that interested him & settled on a story about baseball

  4. Emily— “A long time ago in a village in Tokyo there was a dog-demon who loved the priestess Lady Kikyo. Naraku loved Lady Kikyo too, but as soon as he found out that her heart belonged to another he wanted to make her suffer. The reason he loved her was because she tended to his wounds everyday. He was beaten up so badly that only one of his eyes and his mouth showed through the bandages.” Pre-Conference Writing Sample

  5. Jake— “A long time ago I traveled back in time to play baseball with some of the best baseball players ever like Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson, and Mickey Mantle. We were going to play in the jungle. It was very hard because of the animals. Here we go. Strike one for Babe Ruth. The crowd yelled and screamed you stink.” Pre-Conference Writing Sample

  6. Emily: • Story line was interesting & creative • Last paragraph intrigues the reader to want to read more • Needs to be sure to introduce all characters • Add more detail for understanding • Jake: • Very imaginative idea to combine baseball with the jungle • Needs to add more detail with animals & setting • Vary & lengthen sentences within piece PLANNING THE CONFERENCE

  7. PROGRESS Both made suggested changes to their writing. Emily:Introducing characters Before— “A long time ago in a village in Tokyo there was a dog-demon who loved the priestess Lady Kikyo. Naraku loved Lady Kikyo too…” After— “Lady Kikyo was a woman who could heal any wound no matter how bad it was, and she was so strong that she could kill or purify any demon. Somehow she was completely human too. Naraku who was Inuyasha’s brother was completely human and that created hate between the two brothers.”

  8. PROGRESS Jake: Setting details Before— Only one animal included & vague mention of being in a jungle. After— He added in jungle animals, such as a jaguar & ape. “First pitch he hit a pop fly to right the outfielder getting ready to rob it when a jaguar jumps out and hits him home run.”

  9. PLANNING THE MINI-LESSON In the writing conference I had a separate goal for each student, but for the mini-lesson I had to come up with an aspect of writing that was a common ground for improvement among both Emily & Jake. I considered the 6 traits of writing and other areas that needed some development. As I looked over both pieces of writing I noticed that each of them needed to be more clear for the reader to understand what was going on in their stories.

  10. Topics I considered: • Visualizing to add detail • Organization strategies • After looking further into their stories, I realized they both needed to start off by improving the way they got their thoughts down on paper & create a picture in the mind of the reader (visualizing) by showing & not simply telling

  11. Introduction: -Compliment the good ideas & leads to their stories -What does it mean to visualize or zoom in? Goal is to show the reader a “full picture” -We want to use exciting, descriptive words -Today we’re going to explore how we can stop, reread, & think about actions we want to visualize as we write Discuss the Process: -Read from mentor book, Willow, & ask students to close their eyes as they listen to what is being read -Show how I visualized parts in my own piece of writing -Try to account for all the senses (what do you see, hear, smell, feel, etc.) Turn & Talk: -Find one part of your story what you think is important for your reader to know a lot about … How can you try to stretch this out and add more detail? -Turn to each other & share your ideas on how you visualized to add detail… Can one of you share with me? Closing & Review: -Compliment students’ hard work today -I will be looking to see that you are stopping to visualize & extend your ideas Anticipated Responses & Outcomes: -I will make sure students are applying the visualizing strategy to their own work by closing their eyes & seeing what they are adding to their stories ELEMENTS OF MINI-LESSON

  12. RESPONSE TO MINILESSON • Student Response— • Seemed to understand the concept of visualizing & could apply it to their own stories. • At times seemed a little unengaged to activity • My Response— • Students could have been a bit more engaged • I had to tweak parts of the lesson as I went along to help keep them involved • They demonstrated the concept in their own writing in the end, which I was pleased with

  13. FOR NEXT TIME… • I could pull examples of each student’s piece to keep them more interested • Increase amount of social interaction—have both students involved & offer suggestions to peers • Add movement that makes lesson more memorable • Include a list of possible descriptive words they could use as a reference

  14. OUTCOME OF MINI-LESSON Emily Before Visualizing: Emily After Visualizing: So he drew a 100 ft. troll that smelled terrible, had four razor-sharp teeth that were very, very, very yellow, and blood red eyes that seemed to glow with hatred. So he drew a 100 ft. troll with ink and he became that troll and attacked Inuyasha hoping to kill him.

  15. OUTCOME OF MINI-LESSON Jake Before Visualizing: Jake After Visualizing: We were going to play in the Jungle. We found a huge open space and decided to make our own baseball field in the jungle. We looked all over then finally we looked up and found a tree house in a huge tree. We found people living in the tree and asked them to play baseball Then a hairy scary black giant Ape jumped on the field, he grabbed a bat and started to swing it at the players. The outfielder swung on a vine and threw it to first. • We were going to play in the jungle. It was very hard because of all the animals. • The pitcher was going to throw the windup then the giant Ape jumped on the field. He ran around and the game stopped.

  16. Emily— Strengths: Great at adding more detail where needed Extensive depth of story idea Great word choice—very advanced Opportunities for growth: Organization of piece—putting ideas in proper order Dialogue could be added for interest ASSESSMENT/FINAL CONFERENCE

  17. Jake— Strengths: When he had an idea, he ran with it Great job re-reading piece for understanding Opportunities for growth: Work on the way dialogue is added to the story Vary lengths of sentences to add enjoyment ASSESSMENT/FINAL CONFERENCE

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