The Silent Victims: Understanding the Effects of Violence on Children for Child Custody Mediators and Guardians ad Lit

1. The Silent Victims: Understanding the Effects of Violence on Children for Child Custody Mediators and Guardians ad Litem Diane Zosky, Ph.D., ACSW, LCSW Illinois State University

2. What is Domestic Violence

3. What is Domestic Violence? Context of domestic violence Issue of power and control Role of beliefs Forms of domestic violence Definition used in many PAIPS

4. Context of Domestic Violence Must understand the intensity of emotional relationship Context of dependency relationships Contexts of investment Violence has incredible power for intra-psychic internalization

5. Issue of Power and Control Violence is not about anger Violence is about power and control Men who abuse do not lose control when violent, rather they are very much in control Violence is not just the ultimate expression of anger, rather anger is used as mechanism for power and control Anger is the means, not an end

6. The Power of Violence First act of Violence is pivotal event in experience of victim From that moment forward, this event remains like an �invisible tatoo� on the relationship Perpetrator may never need to resort to violence again to maintain control Potency of all non-physical forms

7. Role of Beliefs Violence is mechanism to maintain power and control and The foundation of all is BELIEFS

8. Significance of Beliefs Men who batter are more likely to subscribe to the belief that violence is acceptable to �keep your woman in line� 25% of variance in violence was contributed by beliefs that were approving of violence (Eisikovits, Edelson, Guttman, & Sela-Amit, 1991)

9. Forms of Domestic Violence Physical Verbal Sexual Emotional Isolation Economic Intimidation

10. Definition used in PAIPS Gandhi: �Any attempt to impose your will on another against their wishes�

11. Power and Control Wheel

12. Context and Statistics of Child Witnessing

13. Prevalence How Many Children Witness Parental Domestic Violence? 30% of kids 3.3 Million

14. Children�s Awareness One study found that children provide very detailed descriptions of the violence when parents reported that the children were unaware of the violence (Jaffe, Wolfe, and Wilson, 1990) One study reported that 78% of children reported seeing violence when their parents reported that their children did not observe the domestic violence event (O�Brien, John, Margolin, and Erel, 1994) One study reported that 21% of children called someone for help during the abuse, 23% of children became physically involved in the violence trying to stop it, and 52% yelled from another room for the violence to end (Edleson, Mbilinyi, Beeman, Hagemeister, 2003)

15. Comparative Damage Several studies have compared abused children and children who have only witnessed parental violence with children from healthy environments Children who have only witnessed parental domestic violence appear to suffer similar negative effects as children who have been physically abused

16. Danger to Children Obvious risks for children Risk for child abuse 40%-60% of homes with DV Risk for unintentional harm children who witness may try to mediate

17. Danger to Children Less obvious risks Direct Path trauma of witnessing violence

18. Danger to Children Less Obvious Risks Indirect Path - preoccupation of primary caretakers render them unavailable as auxiliary ego for developmental tasks

19. abused women more likely to be depressed 45%-85% of abused women/mothers diagnosed with PTSD In regression analysis of severity of violence and maternal stress as predictors of behavioral disorders and social competence of kids, only maternal stress remained as predictor violence = maternal stress= kids� problems

20. Related Issues Home-life characterized by instability Poor problem solving modeling Models for aggression Gender role modeling male = aggressive female = passive

21. What do these kids look like??? Impact on Social/Emotional Development

22. Negative Effects Externalizing Effects Internalizing Effects Social Competence Effects Somatic Symptoms Family-Interpersonal Relationship Effects

23. Externalizing Effects Aggression Acting out Delinquency Hyperactivity Post-Traumatic Play

24. Internalizing Effects Low Self-Esteem Depression Isolation and Withdrawal Guilt Sense of Helplessness Lack of efficacy Lower frustration tolerance

25. Internalizing Effects Emotional Constriction Anxiety - generalized and specific fears Regression in developmental achievements

26. Social Competence Effects Impaired school performance Inappropriate social interaction Less sensitive with interpersonal interactions Poor social problem solving skills Fewer interests, activities

27. Somatic Symptoms Nightmares and sleep disturbances Bed wetting Somatic complaints Regression in developmental achievements

28. Family, Interpersonal Relationships Separation anxiety with Mom Mistrust/Anger towards Mom Splitting with Dad Role reversal, parentification of child Inappropriate attempts to mediate conflict Enforced family secrets

29. So What causes these kids to react this way????

30. Developmental (Attachment) Needs of Children What Do Kids Need? Affirmed as loved, valued individual Security, stability, consistency

31. Why do they need this? Formation of self-identity Formation of expectations of other

32. Neuro-physiological development * Bruce Perry�s work on trauma and the neurobiology of brain development

33. 3 important concepts of neuro-physiological development Development is sequential Development is characterized by �sensitivity� or peak periods of receptivity for optimal development Use-dependent nature of development

34. Overview of Brain Development As infants, born with only primitive brain function from ANS Followed by rapid brain development from less to more complex Brain development is sequential and dependent on periods of �sensitivity� Major working unit of brain is neurons, neurons form into networks, then into systems which mediate various functions

35. Levels of Brain Development Brain develops from most primitive areas to more complex From autonomic functions to purposeful thought From brainstem, to midbrain, to limbic, to cortical

36. Brainstem Functions:most primitive functions Regulates autonomic functions for life sustaining activity Body temperature Heart rate Blood pressure respiration

37. Midbraincontinues from the brainstem Arousal Sleep Appetite Motor regulation

38. Limbic system:much that makes us human Emotional reactivity Sexual behavior Attachment Affiliation

39. Cortex: �Our Computer� Higher level thought Concrete thinking Abstract thinking

40. Sequential development Brainstem, midbrain, limbic system more primitive areas develop first Higher functioning of cortical areas develop later As the higher functions of brain develop, they modulate, mediate, or control lower more primitive, reactive functions of the brain

41. Higher level cortical functioning mediates impulsivity of lower areas A 2 year old will tantrum and act out impulses from more primitive brain A 12 year old will FEEL like throwing a tantrum but will over-ride this impulse with higher level cortical reasoning.

42. Impulse-mediating capacity Ratio between excitatory activity of lower brain and modulating activity of higher brain Increase activity or reactivity of brainstem, or decrease in moderating capacity of higher brain = Increase impulsivity, aggression, violence

43. �So What� of all this Since brain development is sequential, Higher level development will be impaired if lower level development is impaired. Earliest experiences have disproportionate importance in developing mature brain

44. �How� The brain developments Undeveloped brain comprised of undifferentiated neural systems (translation: It�s a blob) Dependent on neurochemical and neurtrophic factors (cues, chemicals) to develop

45. cues are dependent on input from the senses from child�s total experiences Lack of or disruption in cues contribute to disrupted brain development

46. 2nd principle of brain development: Sensitivity Critical periods for specific development Brain is sensitive to �organizing experiences� because it is �primed� for the neurochemical signals triggered by the sensory input from the �organizing experiences�

47. Child has experience Leads to input information through the senses Leads to triggers for neurochemical activity Leads to neuronal development, �brain development�

48. Use-dependent neuronal development Exposure to repeated experiences are used to create �shortcuts� for increased efficiency of brain response

49. The Miracle of Our Brain Brain system is designed to sense, perceive, process, store, and act on information received from the External and Internal environments

50. Survival of the Species As evolved animals, we still are instinctual Humans, due to instinct, are pre-adapted for : Survival

51. Adaptive Nature of Brain In order to survive: brain designed to change in response to signals change permits storage of information so it can respond to environmental demand = SURVIVAL

52. Use-Dependent Neuronal Change All experiences are filtered by the senses Sensory signals stimulates processes in brain that alters brain chemistry and structure

53. �State� vs �Trait� The more �use� of a response, the more it becomes an indelible template for automatic response What would be a �state� response memory in adults becomes a �trait� for children since it becomes incorporated into brain structuralization

54. 2 ANS Paths for Child response to Threat The Hyper-arousal Continuum Defensive or Fight/Flight Response The Dissociative Continuum Freeze or Surrender Response

55. Hyper-arousal Response Threat perceived, SNS activated Instinctual fight or flight response Release of stress hormones from the endocrine system, neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) in the brain system System flooded with cortisol, norepinephrin

56. Increase in heart rate Increase in BP Increase respirations Increase in pupil dilation Decrease in digestion, release of stored sugar Increase in muscle tone Increase in perspiration

57. Increase in hyper-vigilance Increase in �tunnel focus� or tune out non-critical information

58. Dissociative Continuum First response is vocalization, cry As threat escalates, freeze response Advance to dissociation, or disengage from external world to internal world

59. Neuro-chemistry Still regulated from the PNS and primitive areas of the brain Stimulate activity from dopaminergic systems and endogenous opioids Decrease in heart rate Decrease in BP Insensitivity to pain

60. The �So What� of these 2 threat response paths �The Resilience Myth� Children are NOT resilient, they are ADAPTIVE!!!! However, in adapting to threatening environment for survival, they adopt maladaptive methods for engaging the rest of their experiences

61. Intergenerational Transmission �God don�t make junk� If we don�t invest in our children, the problem doesn�t go away, it just gets bigger and continues for the next generation

62. Intergenerational Transmission What We Know About Batterers 82% of men convicted of DV were either abused as children or witnessed their parents domestic violence Low self-esteem Inability to regulate affect, self-soothe Intense abandonment anxiety Boundary diffusion

63. High correlation with personality disorders of borderline, narcissistic, antisocial Ambivalence over dependency needs Rigid gender roles Need for control Defenses of minimization and denial

64. Implications for the Legal and Judicial System

65. Types of Cases Criminal court with domestic battery charge Divorce cases Child custody Juvenile court

66. How Parties might present in Court-Understanding the Context of Terror

67. Characteristics to Remember about Victim/Survivor High rates of PTSD High rates of depression (typically agitated depression mixed with anxiety) Low self-esteem beaten down by psychological abuse, may have internalized batterers projections (process of projective identification)

68. Presentation of Victim in Court Room Have difficulty presenting evidence for any number of reasons: cognitive impairments resulting from abuse, fear, or a conviction that she will not be believed. Demonstrate inappropriate affect resulting from fear, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or other response to abuse.

69. Be extremely anxious and unfocused in the presence of the abusive parent. Be aggressive or angry when testifying. Show signs of distress when listening to the other parent�s testimony. Appear numb, unaffected, or disinterested.

70. For any victim, adult or child It is important to not �decontexualize� behavior. Behavior that might appear maladaptive, may indeed be adaptive when seen from the context

71. Characteristic to remember about Perpetrator Always remember power and control is the game Many behaviors of power and control difficult to quantify for evidentiary purposes (economic abuse, verbal,etc) Narcissistic, anti-social, qualities Beliefs contribute to self-righteousness

72. Presentation of Perpetrator in Court room Believe or claim that the other parent is stupid, unsophisticated, or inflexible. Anger easily. Behave in an arrogant or superior manner. Attempt to present as the true victim in the relationship. Appear vulnerable or otherwise engender empathy with the court or with third parties, masterful manipulators

73. Be unwilling to understand another�s perspective. Expect the child to meet the parent�s needs. Advocate or adhere to strict gender roles. Patronize the other party, counsel, and even the court. Attempt to create an alliance with you, be careful of collusion (don�t drink the Koolaid) Minimize, deny, blame others for, or excuse inappropriate behavior.

74. Use of the Court to continue to exert Power and Control The perpetrator may use litigation abuse to continue contact with his victim To wear her down To continue to harass through court filings

75. What the Court can do Excessive filings: Order the parent bringing excessive motions to pay appearances the attorneys fees and costs of the other parent Order the parent who files frivolous motions to reimburse lost wages and other expenses of the other parent Excuse the at-risk parent from appearing at hearings or permit the at-risk parent to appear by telephone Order that no court appearances may be scheduled without your prior approval

76. Excessive requests for discovery: Prohibit any discovery or court appearances that directly involve the children, like depositions Ensure that the at-risk parent has adequate resources to comply with appropriate discovery Control the discovery process by requiring that the abusive parent show the relevancy of requested deposition testimony and other potentially harassing discovery

77. Ensure that the abusive parent has no physical access to the at-risk parent during the discovery process Ensure that the at-risk family members are adequately protected during the pretrial process (e.g., private security, to be paid for by the controlling party, or orders that the abusive parent not be present during depositions)

78. Filing motions to change unfavorable orders Keep in place any orders you have made that unfavorable orders enhance the safety of the at-risk parent or child � Require compliance with your orders unless there has been a significant change in circumstances � Prohibit contact between the parents, including during visitation exchanges � Keep all protections in place, including no contact with the child, if that term was part of your original order, absent strong evidence of change and compliance

79. Multiple requests for continuance: Deny requests for excessive or unnecessary delay

80. Abuse of the Ex parte process: Determine whether the at-risk parent is available for the hearing and whether adequate notice was given Determine whether a true emergency exists Use collateral information to assist you in making a decision; for example, determine whether any protection orders have been entered against either parent

81. In post-divorce proceedings, attempt to determine whether the claims asserted in the ex parte motion were raised in prior litigation Consider the length of time since any prior custody litigation Consider whether prior allegations of abuse have been raised in prior court proceedings or with children�s protective services

82. Court can set tone for proceedings Insist that the attorneys treat all parties with respect. If the abusive parent�s attorney is allowed to be disrespectful toward the opposing counsel, the opposing party, or any witnesses, that behavior serves to empower the abusive parent and can thereby increase the safety threat to the at-risk parent.

83. Because the at-risk parent may need additional time to answer questions, insist that the attorneys give each party adequate time to respond. Insist that counsel maintain a respectful distance from the witness. Warn the parties and counsel against the use of sarcastic or other disrespectful remarks or tone. Impose sanctions for the continued use of disrespectful tone, remarks, or tactics.

84. Watch out for and intervene to stop any controlling non-verbal behavior by one parent toward the other. If one or both parents are pro se, require all questions and answers in court to be funneled through the bench Inform security that the suspected abusive parent must be kept a safe distance from the at-risk parent. This may include escorting the at-risk parent into and out of the court

85. If the parties are pro se, require a bailiff or other person to be placed between them when they stand before the bench. Order the controlling parent to remain in the courtroom for 15 minutes following a hearing so that the other party has an opportunity to leave safely. Design the terms of your order with an eye toward requiring the parties to have as little contact with each other as possible. Order professionally supervised visitation or no visitation if safe visitation cannot be arranged.

86. Assessment of Violence

87. Assessment Assessment of occurrence of DV Assessment of safety/risk Assessment of impact on victims

88. Assessment of Occurrence of Domestic Violence-Adult Conflict Tactics Scale-Revised Abuse Observation Checklist Abuse Observation Checklist-revised Clinical interviews: First, worst, most recent Chronology Relational context

89. Realize whenever taking history or data from perpetrator of role of minimization, rationalization, denial, and blame

90. Assessment of Occurrence of Domestic Violence: Children Children�s Perception of Interparental Conflict Scale (Grych, Seid, Fincham) Exposure to Violence Scale (Singer & Song) Family Worries Scale (Graham-Bermann)

91. Assessment of Safety/Risk SARA: Spousal Assault Risk Assessment (Kropp, Hart, Webster, Eaves) ODARA: Ontario Domestic Assault Risk Assessment (Hilton, Harris, Rice) Danger Assessment (J. Campbell)

92. Assessment of Impact on Children CBCL Child Behavior Checklist Trauma Symptom Checklist for Children PTSD scale for the CBCL Children�s Impact of Traumatic Events Scale (used for sexual abuse)

93. Custody Issues in Cases of Domestic Violence

94. U.S. Congress has spoken Although family law cases are excluded from federal courts, the US Congress advised with U.S. Congressional Resolution No. 172 (passed unanimously): �It is the sense of Congress that, for purposes of determining child custody, credible evidence of physical abuse of a

95. spouse should create a statutory presumption that it is detrimental to the child to be placed in the custody of the abusive spouse.�

96. National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges Model Code on Domestic and Family Violence (1994) �In every proceeding where there is at issue a dispute as to the custody of a child, a determination by the court that domestic or family violence has occurred raises a rebuttable presumption that it is detrimental to the

97. Child and not in the best interest of the child to be placed in sole custody, joint legal custody, or joint physical custody with the perpetrator of family violence.�

98. Yet�.??? In 70% of contested custody cases that involve a history of domestic violence, the court awarded sole or joint custody to the abuser (Aiken and Murphy, 2000)

99. Court�s Options on Custody Do not encourage or require contact between parties Supervised visitation/exchange centers If no center, require exchange in Neutral site by neutral third party Start with short daytime visits in public place, increase with positive evidence Include provision of no consumption of substances

100. Place limits on overnight and only when evidence of sustained safety Require perpetrator to complete PAIP and substance abuse or parenting programs as indicated Build in review dates for ongoing monitoring

101. NEVER, NEVER, EVER, NEVER in a million years order perpetrator and victim to joint therapy NEVER, NEVER, EVER, NEVER in a million years be seduced, duped, played a fool for Parental Alienation Syndrome especially with DV situations

102. Parental Alienation Syndrome Authored by Dr. Richard Gardner One parent willfully alienates the children from the other parent Parental alienation OR a parent trying to protect children Not recognized as syndrome by ANY medical, mental health, or legal organization.

103. Court rulings that PAS is invalid In the Interest of TMW (Florida 1989) Wiederholt v. Fischer (Wisconsin 1992) People v. Loomis (N.T. App. 1997) Kumho Tire v. Carmichael, 526 U.S. 137 (1999), Supreme Court ruled must meet standard from Daubert and Frye

104. Daubert and Frye Standard peer review publication (self published by Gardner) Testability rate of error general acceptance PAS does not pass this test.

105. Other Related �deflections� �lip stick on a pig is still a pig� Factitious Disorder by Proxy Munchausen by Proxy Malicious Mother Syndrome

106. Avoid re-victimization of Survivors of Domestic Violence Juvenile Court-Failure to protect Ignores the agent of the action Ignores the compelling external and internal reasons why leaving is difficult Leaving is a PROCESS, not an event Gender bias, men are rarely charged with this �iatrogenic� effect, makes matters worse by disrupting one primary attachment when child needs this the most

107. Mutual Violence???? yes maybe, �.BUT 9% of cases were mutual violence (Jaffe & Austin, 1995) �mutual� violence may be acts of self defense Who is primary aggressor? Who feels in danger?

108. Court intervention with Perpetrators Enforce accountability by requiring treatment Know the difference between �anger management� programs and perpetrator intervention programs Violence is not a matter of anger other than anger is the means to much deeper, more pernicious means

109. Perpetrator Abuse Intervention Program Theoretical Approach Psycho-educational in method, use of curriculum Intentionally NOT therapy Largely based on feminist theoretical approach Use methods of cognitive-behavioral and social learning theory

110. Priorities/Goals Victim is considered primary client, safety of victim is primary Cessation of violence is primary goal Cessation of patriarchal attitudes/beliefs is secondary goal Adoption of becoming �agents of social change� is long term goal.

111. Lead by M/F co-leaders Male can challenge sexism and patriarchy and model egalitarian masculinity Female facilitator requires men to relate in non-violent ways to female who models independence and assertion F/M team models cross-gender communication of respect, egalitarian

112. Curriculum Strong emphasis on challenging BELIEFS of patriarchy, power, and control 8 themes with 3 weeks devoted to each theme Each 3 week approach to theme is designed to move from awareness, to understanding to action Use of control logs and other written assignments with each theme Designed to have participants engage in self-reflection, self-challenge, and accountability

113. Control Logs Each control log takes the format of identifying: Action Intent Belief Minimization, denial, and blame Feelings Impact of Past violence Commitment to non-controlling alternatives

114. Themes Non-violence Non-threatening behavior Respect Support and trust Honesty and accountability Sexual respect Partnership Negotiation and fairness

115. Use of Mediation Should always be an assessment for domestic violence If present, may consider alternatives to mediation Lack balance of power and capacity for mutual respect for mediated result Potential to re-victimize victim and give perpetrator access

116. Approximation: �shuttle diplomacy and negotiation� Separate sessions with each party on separate days A security protocol to ensure the safe arrival and departure of the victim A support person to accompany the abused party to mediation Provisions in the mediated agreement to ensure safety for victim & children

117. Independent review of any agreement by legal counsel prior to signing If mediation fails, provide an alternative dispute resolution such as child custody assessment

118. Interviewing children

119. Children May have ambivalent feelings about abuser/victim Children may blame self for issue Children may still have attachment with abuser, have ambivalent feelings Children, especially male children, may subscribe to identification with the aggressor Children may be influenced by father�s devaluation of mother

120. Abusers may manipulate the children as means of power and control of partner May manipulate children to undermine her parental authority

121. Initiating interview May want to initially approach in less direct, non-threatening manner due to family secrets or child�s need to protect family members �What is it like in your family/home?� �How are disagreements handled in your home?�

122. Language Development Prior to adolescent age, children�s cognitive development and language is at a concrete level and lacks abstraction Young children have difficulty with time sequences Young children are confused by negatives Say �yes� due to social desirability

123. Children understand more words than they are able to use correctly Recall and ability to understand exceeds ability to communicate Children may mix up their pronouns Use idiosyncratic words

124. Strategies for Interviewing Assess child�s language complexity and match your own Do not use baby talk Use simple and short sentences, no compound sentences Ask child to define words Encourage child to tell you if they do not understand question or don�t know answer

125. Use active rather than passive voice Repeat names rather than pronouns Avoid vague, leading, and hypothetical questions Use neutral follow up questions: Tell me more What happened next? Tell me everything you can remember

126. Memory and children Children may have accurate memories but difficulty in communicating them Children memory may lack detail Lack memories prior to age 3 Trauma Memory very different than routine memory

127. How Non-Trauma Memory is Made Information comes in through senses to amygdala If no threat is read, goes to hippocampus Work of the hippocampus begins process of �storying memory Information goes up to corpus callosum, ping pongs between right and left hemisphere Braided into coherent memory, Stored in �file� in cortex

128. Memory formation with trauma Information comes in through senses Amygdala recognizes threat, kicks off threat response Release of cortisol puts hippocampus �to sleep� Memory doesn�t get �storied coherently� Is stored in brain, but not knitted together as coherent whole and in file for retrieval Stored in disparate parts of brain, dis-integrated from parts with the intensity of the time of the trauma

129. Distinguishing between truth and lie Young children have limited capacity to understand truth and falsehood By age 3 understand what it means to lie By age 4 know lie is wrong Under age 7 can�t define but can answer hypothetical questions about truth and lie Between ages of 3-6 can be accurate reporters if questioning not too complex

130. Children are highly suggestible Questioning needs to be neutral Non leading