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Wise Coaching Tim LeBon

Wise Coaching Tim LeBon. Why Wisdom, and why Wise Coaching? Wise Therapy The Wise Therapy Toolbox From Wise Therapy to Wise Coaching What is Wisdom anyway? Philosophy+ The Wise Coaching Toolbox. Why Wisdom? Why Wise Coaching?.

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Wise Coaching Tim LeBon

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  1. Wise Coaching Tim LeBon Why Wisdom, and why Wise Coaching? Wise Therapy The Wise Therapy Toolbox From Wise Therapy to Wise Coaching What is Wisdom anyway? Philosophy+ The Wise Coaching Toolbox www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  2. Why Wisdom? Why Wise Coaching? Wisdom, encompassing both theoretical and practical wisdom, has been said to be the pinnacle of human excellence. Wisdom is more than a worthy goal –without it other values and virtues may do more harm than good It’s possible to be a wise coach and to help your clients become wiser Today I will help show how to do this … www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  3. Wisdom –not just a “nice to have” • Plato’s Euthydemus – Without wisdom, the other virtues might even do us harm “That would be a very courageous decision, minister”. • Are the foolish better off without courage? • Could qualities like courage & self-confidence that are often thought to be desirable in coaching may do more harm than good if not exercised wisely? www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  4. The Wise Therapy Project What are the wisest theories about well-being, the emotions , right and wrong and the meaning of life? Given these answers, how in therapy can we best enhance people’s well-being, emotional state, decision-making and meaning? Output -> The Wise Therapy Toolbox www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  5. The Wise Therapy Toolbox Decision-Making PROGRESS Values/Well-Being RSVP Emotions Stoic Therapy, Existential Analysis Insights from philosophers Bibliotherapy /introducing ideas /guides for clients See Wise Therapy for complete toolbox www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  6. From Wise Therapy to Wise Coaching All of these tools are relevant to Wise Coaching Example of Danny, who had been made redundant and was helped by Progress Helping people find their path using RSVP [values clarification and beyond] Philosophy+: More tools for coaches www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  7. Wise Decision-Maker? • “Big Phil” Scolari (a Brazilian football coach) • Head-hunted by FA after he led teams that beat England in 2002 and 2004 • Initially agreed to accept the lucrative post of England • Changed his mind after a few days exposure to the tabloids www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  8. Wise Decision-Maker? • William Hague, Conservative politician • Made national news when spoke at Tory conference aged 16 • Was he wise to accept the Tory leadership in 1997? www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  9. Wise Decision-Making - Method The 5 steps of Progress are:- 1) Understand the situation 2) Understand what matters 3) Search for options 4) Evaluate options in terms of what matters 5) Implement the decision Each step is informed by philosophical ideas and methods such as critical thinking, theories of the emotions, thought experiments & ethical theories. www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  10. Wise Decision-Making – Case Study [Danny as featured in The Observer] 1) The decision: Continue career in city after redundancy? The situation: Danny felt a range of emotions, include relief about being made redundant. 2) Danny explored what mattered most through a series of RSVP-like thought experiments Perfect Day Work/home balance Who do you admire? Contact with ‘real’ people & helping them Rocking chairquestion Learnt skills & taken on challenges Done something I am proud of www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  11. Wise Decision-Making - Danny [illustration of life coaching by Tim LeBon and David Arnaud using Progress Decision-Making Process] 3) Danny came up with a new option, teaching business skills & economics to sixth-formers 4) This option satisfied all of what mattered most 5) 1 year on, Danny teaches economics and loves it. “It’s a much better lifestyle” www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  12. RSVP – Values Clarification and Beyond • Exploring values a key element to help people find the right path • Already a lot of good ideas in personal development/coaching books • e.g. Covey’s funeral oration • RSVP integrates a lot of good ideas and thought experiments about values into a comprehensive and philosophically robust method www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  13. RSVP – The Good Life according to philosophers • Epicurus – improve your state of mind – happiness, feeling good • Experience Machine objection – states of the world as well as states of mind are important • J.S. Mill and the utilitarians – other people’s happiness matters • Ancient Greeks (Aristotle, Stoics) – your character matters – what sort of person are you? www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  14. RSVP – Coaching with Epicurus, Mill and Aristotle • J.S. Mill – What difference do you want to make to the world? • Aristotle – What character qualities would you like to have? • Epicurus – Design your ideal day in the Experience Machine • Pair up and pick one or more of above questions to work on to help clarify your values. www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  15. RSVP – Intregrating what’s right in competing theories "If, as I believe, nearly all ethical theories contain some elements of the truth, the best way of constructing a viable one is to pick out the true elements in each and build them into one's own theory." (R.M. Hare ) Each of the 3 theories of well-being (Epicurean, utilitarian and Stoic) took as sufficient things that were instead necessary Ie a good life needs sufficient happiness, contributions and character. www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  16. RSVP – Creative and Critical Thinking • Creative Stage • Brainstorm candidate values • Critical Stage • Is there anything missing? • Have you covered experiences, contributions and character? • Can your blueprint survive the following test…? www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  17. Nietzsches’ Eternal Recurrence Test • What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' • Friedrich Nietzsche www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  18. Groundhog Day Would your values survive reliving over-and-over again as in Groundhog Day? What would you like your Groundhog Day to be like? www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  19. What is Wisdom anyway?Philosophy+ a) Aristotle • Theoretical Wisdom (knowledge, including knowledge of human nature, meaning and what matters) • Practical Wisdom (know-how and understanding specific situations) b) My Definition of Wisdom “Wisdom is the possession of knowledge about what matters and deep understanding about the universe & the human condition and human nature, combined with good judgement and the disposition to put this knowledge into action” www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  20. Dimensions of wisdom • Values Wisdom Wisdom about what matters • Practical Wisdom Wisdom in action • Existential Wisdom Wisdom about the universe & the human condition • Emotional Wisdom Wisdom of the emotions, motivation and attitudes www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  21. The Toolbox for Wise Coaching 1.Insights not just from philosophers but from psychologists and personal development classics. We add Psychology esp. positive psychology E.g. coaching people to achieve flow Self-Help Classics – client guides e.g. Stephen Covey, Bertrand Russell, Viktor Frankl, Daniel Goleman www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  22. Life Coaching TopicsSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006 • Letting Go- Frankl, Zen, children and animals – modelling attractive examples • Responsibility/duty • Stress • Life balance • Meaning • Emotional awareness –labelling feelings www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  23. Life Coaching TopicsSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006 • Assertiveness -negotiation skills, communication skills,courage – ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION Back & Back • Self-awareness • Self-confidence • Fulfilment • Authenticity- being open, facing life – stories, religions, fairy stories, films www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  24. Life Coaching ResourcesSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006 • Go Mad! Go Make a Difference - Andy Gilbert Theme: Improving performance • Assertive Communication - Back & Back Theme: assertiveness/saying no • The Power of Talking - Deborah Tannen Theme: Women dealing with “powerful” men www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  25. Life Coaching ResourcesSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006 • Buddhism Without Beliefs - Stephen Batchelor • Dalai Laama (e.g. Book of Wisdom) Themes: fulfilment/work-life balance/stress • Krishnamurti (e.g. Total Freedom) Themes: Challenging the self • Lesley Garner -Everything I’ve ever done that worked Themes: comfortable in own skin www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  26. Wise Life Coaching BooksSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Brookes, June 2006 • Now, Discover Your StrengthsMarcus Buckingham, Donald O. Clifton Theme:Self-awareness • Jaworski Theme:Authenticity • Co-Active Coaching - Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey-House, Phil Sandahl (esp. chapter on “The Gremlin) Theme:Building self-esteem www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

  27. Wise Coaching THANK YOU For further information see http://www.timlebon.com E-mail: tim@timlebon.com Wise Therapy is available from http://www.amazon.co.uk www.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006

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