“Women Forget that Men are the Masters”

1. “Women Forget that Men are the Masters” Chapter 8: Gender Antagonism, Social Value and Identities

2. Introduction • Main objective: To understand why the gender relations between men and women in Kisii society is fraught with antagonism and aggression • Underlying theme: Socio-economic changes have been harder on men than women; female identity and self-esteem have been strengthened while male identity and self-esteem has been weakened • Hypothesis: Social values linked to male identity have become more complex and contradictory than the social values linked to female identity

3. Social Value • Is fundamental to identity • Is fundamental to self esteem • Is fundamental to gender relations • It is the part of society that most affects cultural notions of gender and sexuality

4. Colonialism, Socio-economic Change and Men • Profound impact on social roles and identity • Men separated from the home as migrant laborers; this marginalizes them from the household • Emergence of new social role: male as absent breadwinner • Men end up fulfilling a role that has no place in the traditional Kisii value system

5. Colonialism, Socio-economic Change and Women • Male absence from household, women become primary managers • New social role not in contradiction to traditional values • Traditional notion of women as ‘entrepreneurial and strong’ gets strengthened • Female identity and self-esteem strengthened

6. Construction of Gender Roles/Identities • Circumcision • Marriage • Children

7. Circumcision • Female initiation/circumcision emphasizes control of female and male sexuality • Initiation ceremonies contradictory for women • Male initiation/circumcision—men given more social roles and responsibilities

8. Marriage • Cohabitation favored over marriage • No bridewealth transferred • Severe effects: more for women because marriage critical to social standing • Women more actively involved in manipulating ways to stabilize their positions

9. Children • Men want them—they have little else left to increase their status • Women must shoulder costs of having many children • Some women taking control of their fertility • Threatens male control

10. Men under Threat • Interdependence increased between sexes • Men do not identify new breadwinner roles • Internalizing their marginalization Spending money on outside activities (girlfriends and booze) • Women less likely to be respectful and submissive their husbands • Women victimized by their husbands behavior

11. Gender Antagonism • ‘We marry those we fight’/‘We fight those we marry • Antagonism both is and is not inherent feature to Kisii gender relations • Economic pressure • Changing social roles • New norms and values given differential priority by men and women

12. Identity • New occupations/roles imposed by colonial order found no place in traditional value systems • Role-based identity reinforced in women • Existential identity reinforced in men • Male control of female sexuality/fertility increasingly linked to male existential identities in times of stress

13. Fluidity of Social Roles/Values • Social functions mediate between existential and role-based identities • Integration of previously circumstantial roles— businessman or matatu driver—into Kisii culture

14. Rape and violence • High incidence (been so since 1940s) • Related to circumcision ritual when girls teased boys • Notion of high intensity and need for sex by men • Women not supposed to talk positively about sex