Engagement and its rulings

1. Engagement and its rulings Ayshawazwaz

2. Definition of engagement • Asking for someone’s hand in marriage • Proposing • Introducing someone to marriage from someone

3. Asking for a women’s hand in marriage • In general cultures feel more comfortable with a man asking for the women’s hand in marriage • Which is preferable not religion wise but culture and psychological wise in many cases.

4. Is a women allowed to ask for the man’s hand in marriage? • Scholars and saliheen have throughout history surpassed this cultural feeling • Cases of waliy introducing their daughters • قال إني أريد أن أنكحك إحدى ابنتي هاتين على أن تأجرني ثماني حجج فإن أتممت بعشر فمن عندك (القصص 27) • Omar ibnAlkhattab introduced his daughter to Othman, and Abu Baker may Allah be pleased with them. • مغني المحتاج: يسن للولي عرض موليته على ذوي الصلاح كما فعل شعيب بموسى وعمر بعثمان ثم بأبي بكر رضي الله عنهم • It is a sunnah that a waliya would introduce his daughter to pious men, as prophet Shu’ab had done, and Omar IbnAlkhattab

5. Can a woman in person propose? • Two women companions introduced themselves to the prophet peace be upon him

6. Women proposing for men • Narrated Thabit Al-Banani: • I was with Anas while his daughter was present with him. Anas said, "A woman came to Allah's Apostle and presented herself to him, saying, 'O Allah's Messenger (), have you any need for me (i.e. would you like to marry me)?' "Thereupon Anas's daughter said, "What a shameless lady she was ! Shame! Shame!" Anas said, "She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet () so she presented herself for marriage to him." • حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا مَرْحُومٌ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ ثَابِتًا الْبُنَانِيَّ، قَالَ كُنْتُ عِنْدَ أَنَسٍ وَعِنْدَهُ ابْنَةٌ لَهُ، قَالَ أَنَسٌ جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم تَعْرِضُ عَلَيْهِ نَفْسَهَا قَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَلَكَ بِي حَاجَةٌ، فَقَالَتْ بِنْتُ أَنَسٍ مَا أَقَلَّ حَيَاءَهَا وَاسَوْأَتَاهْ وَاسَوْأَتَاهْ‏.‏ قَالَ هِيَ خَيْرٌ مِنْكِ رَغِبَتْ فِي النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَعَرَضَتْ عَلَيْهِ نَفْسَهَا‏. • رواه البخاري

7. Beautifying women to get them married • Hijab is obligatory on every Muslim women that has reached the age of puberty • Yet, some scholars do say that it is permissible to put slight beautification for women to encourage others to propose to them. Such as using mehndi, or henna or some ornaments • نص أهل العلم أن: «تحلية البنات بالحلي والحلل ليرغب فيهن الرجال سنة» حاشية ابن عابدين 3/9 • وفي سنن ابن ماجة عن عائشة رضي الله عنها أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «لو كان أسامة جارية لحليته وكسوته حتى أنفقه» صحيح سنن ابن ماجة 1/334 رقم الحديث 1607

8. Ruling on engagement • قال تعالى: «ولا جناح عليكم فيما عرضتم به من خطبة النساء» (البقرة 235) • مستحبة، وليست واجبة liked but not obligatory • The prophet peace be upon him was engaged to sayidaAysha, when he had asked for her hand in marriage, but Abu baker replied: you are my brother, the prophet peace be upon him replied: you are my brother in the religion of Allah and his book, and she is lawful to me.

9. Engagement is a word promise to continue marriage processand is not marriage what so ever • In some cultures they may read fatiha • Or exchange gifts • Or even make a party