You’ve Got a Friend

1. You’ve Got a Friend Helping Your Child with Special Needs Develop Friendships

2. Agenda • Welcome • Introductions: Tell us a little about yourself and your child: what would you like to get from this discussion? • Preview, Including Samuel from UTube (open captioned, audio described version- 12 minutes) and Lincoln Slide Show • Friendship: Strategies and Tips for Home, School and the Community • Discussion and Ideas from Participants • Evaluation: Feedback and Suggestions for the Future

3. Speaking Up for Change Sometimes social inclusion is easy. Often it is not. The challenge- and the power- of speaking up and reaching out, making belonging safe. It is hard to do alone- recognize the challenge and find allies. Montpelier- Ben’s Story: “The four loneliest years”

4. Begins at Home • You know your child: his or her interests, loves, strengths, fears, abilities and disabilities • Our social life and values begin at home and our ability to believe in ourselves and see ourselves as a potential friend to others often starts at home: • What values and ways of building relationship are important in your family and how these help your child find friendships?

5. Owning Our Gifts & Challenges • As individuals and as families- we have gifts as well as challenges. Recognizing them can help us help our child develop the skills and habits of friendship. • The biggest thing we can give our child is respect, recognition and self esteem, the recognition that he or she has things to give and share with others.

6. At School • Most parents are the first to recognize that social inclusion is as important- and sometimes even more important- than academic inclusion. • We want our child to be able to be part of his or her social group: in class, at sports events and art or drama activities, and in the larger community. • Belonging is a shared concern of students, not just affecting (but including) students with disabilities

7. What Has Worked for You? • Do you have a strategy to suggest • Have you tried something that did not work? What obstacles did you face? • The SODA strategy for planning and problem solving (situation, opportunity, disadvantage and advantage) • Finding allies: The power of group action: together we can do things we can’t do alone

8. School Strategies: Find Your Allies

9. One Story, One Class, One School • The last photo and the hearts painting on the cover of this PowerPoint come from Lincoln Community School. The picture was done by one of the students in the 5th/6th grade class in honor of their classmate and friend, Jesus Rosa-Ivey Jr. as part of the class’s Disability Rights and Awareness Work: Here's a link to the article and slide show on the Lincoln Town website: http://www.lincolnvermont.org/education/misc/playoutofmymind.html

10. Allies Who Can Help Create a Culture of Belonging • Other parents: inclusion committees, unified sports program, service learning/mentoring programs, • Teachers open to and passionate about inclusion and disability and diversity awareness in the culture of the school • Principals and other administrators who are willing to try new things • Students who get excited about creating a culture of belonging • Disability advocates • Friends, families, mentors from the community

11. Guilford, 4/2011

12. Guilford, 4/2011

13. Guilford, 4/2011

14. Resources That Can Help • Disability Awareness Curriculum: Both Teaching Tolerance and the Vermont PRIDE (Promoting Respect and Inclusion through Disability Studies Education). PRIDE includes a book collection available through loan- books to stimulate classroom and school dialogue. • Both focus on changing classroom culture, creating ground rules that respect differences and support belonging- Many teachers have built student development of similar “classroom norms” into their teaching

15. Barnes, 3/2011

16. Sports- For Many, a bridge to belonging: “Because of Patrick the team knows what is important. “ Coach “Bubba” Ritchie, Colchester

17. Guilford, 4/2011

18. Other Strategies • Social Inclusion Committees: partnerships between school teachers and administrators and concerned parents to build disability awareness and a culture of belonging in a school: the power of parents coming together. • Reading for Inclusion, Unified Sports, Service Learning mentoring programs, Circles of Support, Camps, Others? What works for you?

19. Stories from Families and Schools • Montpelier: Learning from Ben’s Assembly • Lincoln: Friendship and Change • Harwood: Films and Writing for Change • Brattleboro: new mentoring program • Champlain Elementary: Reading for Inclusion • Colchester: One coach and inclusive sports

20. Transition and Adult Life • Build on interests and strengths, natural connections in the community, service agencies, social networks. • Peer Support : Sometimes It is helpful to be with people who know what it is like to deal with disability and can help you feel safe to reach out for friendship and new opportunities in work and social connections. Examples: • GMSA, VCIL, VFFCMH’s youth programs include both learning and social experiences as well as peer support. Global Campuses activities are available in some communities.

21. Friendship and Self Advocacy "Self-advocacy has changed me. It helps you be yourself, to have friends, to realize you’re not alone, that their fight is yours. What would I say to others? Have fun. Be yourself. Learn from new experiences- be everything you can possibly be. Even though we have our challenges, we can work on ourselves, learn from new experiences, just like anyone else.” (Taylor, Living Connections Interview)

22. Websites & Resources: Sports • Northeast Disabled Athletics Association http://www.disabledathletics.org/htm/sports.htm • Vermont Adaptive Ski and Sports: http://www.vermontadaptive.org/ • Students with and without disabilities: http://www.specialolympics.org/unified_sports.aspx

23. Websites: Disability Awareness Materials for Schools • PRIDE Curriculum: www.uvm.edu/~cdci/prideand Teaching Tolerance: http://www.tolerance.org/ • Thanks to Colchester parent and her son (Lisa Maynesand Patrick Bushey, and to Barnes Elementary, Guilford Middle School, and Lincoln Community School for sharing photos, In the last two years teachers and students in 20 schools have participated in PRIDE and other disability awareness activities. The leadership and creativity of participating students, teachers, administrators and community members is helping to build a new culture of belonging in some classrooms and schools throughout Vermont. Our hope is to see this cultural transformation grow.

24. Websites: Peer Support Examples • Young Adult Peer Support at Vermont Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health: http://www. vffcmh.org • Green Mountain Self Advocates/Voices and Choices Conference and Peer Support Groups: http://www.gmsavt.org • Global Campus: globalcampuses. org • VCIL Youth Leadership Program: http://vcil.org

25. Family Support/School Engagement • Vermont Family Network: www.vermontfamilynetwork.org • Vermont Federation of Families: www. vffcmh.org • Vermont Center on Disability and Community Inclusion (CDCI): www.uvm.edu/~cdci • Other parent support organizations

26. Contact Information Deborah Lisi-Baker, Associate Director Center on Disability and Community Inclusion Mann Hall, 3rd Floor 208 Colchester Ave. Burlington, VT 05405 802-656-1334 deborah.lisi-baker@uvm.edu CDCI Website and PRIDE page www.uvm.edu/~cdci